8-Part Series:
How To Get Rid Of Bad Habits Now!
Part 3:
Love The Sinner
And The Saint Within
Do You Want To Get Rid Of Your Destructive Bad Habits?
Love Yourself.
Would you believe?
I’ve been preaching for 27 years now.
And in the first fifteen years of my preaching ministry, from 1979 to 1994, I never once preached about “loving yourself”. If you doubt me, look at my preaching notes and you’ll find nothing of this idea. Nada. Zero. Zilch. Zip. Why?
Because I felt that loving oneself was another way of saying “selfishness”. So if you told me that I would one day write an article about loving yourself, I would call you nuts. “Blasphemy!” I’d say to you with the vehemence of a snorting bull.
That’s how I interpreted what Jesus said in the Bible, “If you want to be my disciple, carry your cross, deny yourself, and follow me.” Because Jesus wanted us to die to ourselves, how could I tell people to love themselves? Isn’t that the very opposite of what Jesus wanted us to do?
Here was my belief then: The SELF was the enemy of GOD. So why love it?
So I told people to forget their own needs—even their basic, valid, legitimate needs. For if Jesus gave His life on the cross for us, how can we not do otherwise?
I Was Trying To Love God—
But I Felt Miserable.
What Was I Doing Wrong?
But along the way, I got into trouble.
I was trying to love God, but it was as though I was bumping on a brick wall. I failed and I couldn’t understand why I was so miserable. I’d given up everythingfor Him, so why did I feel empty and disconnected?
And here was my bigger problem: Why was I still enslaved by various hidden addictions?
Along the way, I also met a lot of good people like myself. Good, wonderful, spiritual people who wanted to follow God all the way. But they too were mired in hang-ups and addictions that made them discombobulated.
Was Christian life this… bad?
What was wrong with us?
And then there were my special “visitations of God”.
Supernatural moments in prayer that blew me away. These were specific times when I felt God pierce through my belief system—where He would just love me. No ifs, no buts, no conditions. He would love me as is, where is. I would feel so loved, I couldn’t understand it.
And to my horror, it was as though He was inviting me to love myself as well, as is, where is. Naturally, I couldn’t understand it. It went against my rigid legalistic theology and so I would “cast out” that inner voice. Wasn’t I the enemy? Wasn’t I the sinner that needed to be disciplined, chastised, and punished? What was this idea of “just loving myself as is, where is”?
Heresy!
But as the years went by, I began to understand.
It took another ten years—from 1990 to 2000—for this healing to happen…
Deny Myself?
There Was No SELF To Deny!
Slowly, I understood why I couldn’t love God.
How could I deny myself when I didn’t have a SELF?
How could I die to myself if nothing was alive in me?
How could I give up if there was nothing to give up?
Let me explain: Deep within, I was so broken. I never valued myself. I never felt good about myself. I was filled with shame. So to cover my shame, I’d try to be good. To fill up my need for love, I tried to love God. But the more I tried, the more empty I felt…
Today, I realized that I can never give what I don’t have.
I can’t love God—or anyone else for that matter—if I didn’t first love ME.
My favorite verse in the Bible? We love because He first loved us.[1]That is so true! The only way I can love God is if I receive His love for me. And it is His powerful love that will reconstruct me. Only then can I love Him.
This is the lesson we get from Judas Iscariot…
Why Don’t We Pray To St. Judas Iscariot?
Have you ever asked this question?
Probably not.
Because in your mind, you take it for granted that Judas is rotting in Hell.
Because he betrayed Jesus big time.
I beg to differ.
Whether or not Judas is rotting in Hell is another question I dare not answer. But I have an answer to the question why Catholics don’t pray to St. Judas Iscariot. No, it’s not because he betrayed Jesus.
Because if you open your Bible, you realize it is filled to the brim with betrayers and murderers and adulterers and liars and deceivers and connivers and cheats… The reason why Catholics don’t pray to a St. Judas Iscariot is simple: Because Judas didn’t allow God to love him. (By the way, I’m not sharing to you something I picked up from the Catechism or from a doctrine. This is merely my very strong personal belief.)
That was precisely the message of the story of Peter’s denials. He betrayed Jesus too (and three times at that!), but ended up the first Pope. Why?
Because Peter loved the sinner and the saint within. He repented, forgave himself, and went back to God.
Judas didn’t. Instead, he killed himself. The Bible says, So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself.[2]
Judas didn’t become a canonized saint not because he betrayed Jesus. Judas didn’t become a canonized saint because he didn’t learn to receive God’s love.
Thus, he never learned how to love himself.
Are You Killing Yourself?
In my last article, I said, Don’t focus on your addiction.
Because when you focus on your addiction, you end up in despair.
And despair is the end of the road.
Like Judas, many people commit some type of suicide. They may not kill themselves physically, but in their despair, they kill their dreams, or they kill their relationships, or they kill the blessings that God wants to give to them.
You need to acknowledge your addiction (don’t deny it), but you don’t have to meditate on it. Your eyes should be on God’s love for you.
Focus on God’s dream for you instead.
And you can do that if you love yourself.
Loving yourself means loving the sinner and the saint within you.
You’re a mix of the good and the bad, and you need to love that mix.
Unless You Love Yourself,
You Jump From One Hidden Addiction To Another
Unless this happens, your addictions may never go away.
When we don’t love ourselves, our love tanks cause painful emotions to rise. So we may stop one addiction only to replace it with another, perhaps a more hidden addiction. I know of some former drinkers and smokers who, after removing these vices, unconsciously replaced them with more acceptable addictions, like workaholism and religious legalism, or a food addiction or TV addiction.
If you want to get rid of a destructive bad habit, you need to love yourself.
How should you love yourself?
How should you love the saint and sinner within?
Let me share with you four powerful ways of loving yourself that will change your life forever:
1. Forgive Yourself
2. Accept Your Weaknesses
3. Feel Your Feelings
4. Trust Your Needs
Let me share these with you one by one…
1. Forgive Yourself
For years, I would fall into habitual sexual sins. And when I did, I had a hard time believing that God would still forgive me. I was filled with disgust. I was so fed up with my sin, I figured He was fed up with me too. I projected onto Him my disgust and imagined that He was tired of forgiving me again and again.
Yet every time I prayed, something in me would say, “God isn’t like that.” And deeper in my heart, I would hear His voice say, “Bo, nothing you do can ever diminish my love for you.”
These words burned within me. I searched the Bible and found these words…and claimed them for myself.
For I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more.[3]
I am he that blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and will not remember your sins.[4]
If we confess our sins, He is faithful to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.[5]
Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.[6]
Ultimately, it was this incredible love that healed me of my addiction.
Can You Be As Forgiving To Yourself?
In one large gathering, a young woman came up to me and asked, “Can you hear my confession?” I shook my head, “I’m sorry, I’m not a priest.” But I saw desperation in her eyes as she told me, “But can I still confess my sins to you?”
“I can listen to you, pray for you, but I can’t absolve your sins,” I said.
She said, “That’s fine. I just need someone to talk to…” We walked to a corner of the hall and she poured her heart to me, sharing her guilt to me. As she did so, I felt an urging from God to tell her, “My dear friend, God loves you more than you can ever imagine,” and she began to cry almost uncontrollably.
She said, “Bo, I know God loves me. But I don’t love myself. I know God forgives me. But I can’t forgive myself for what I’ve done.”
Through the years, I’ve met many people like her who already asked for God’s forgiveness, but can’t seem to forgive themselves. Even if the Bible says, Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful,[7] it’s funny how people aren’t merciful to themselves.
So I told her, “Then you’re very proud of your sin.”
Her eyes bulged, obviously shocked.
“What did you say again?” she asked.
Are You Proud Of Your Sin?
I told her, “You fall into pride on three counts. First, you seem to think that your sin is bigger than God’s love for you. That’s pride. Friend, God’s love is bigger than your sin…”
“And second, you seem to think that your moral standards are higher than God’s standards. That’s pride. Allow Him to love you in your brokenness. And give yourself permission to love YOU. And third…”
“Did I hear it right? Give myself permission to love me?”
I knew that those words were new to her.
“Yes! And third, all this time, you’ve been focusing on your sin. Am I right?”
She nodded.
“You think God wants you to grieve and wallow in guilt? You’re wrong. When you focus on your sin, you’re not focusing on God. Focus on God. Focus on God’s love for you. Or you fall into despair.” I began to think of Judas and how despair killed him.
The Bible says Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.[8]
How do we fall? Let me count the ways…
What Happens If You Don’t Forgive Yourself
If you don’t forgive yourself, you may have these problems…
o You’ll have unresolved guilt nagging you
o You’ll always be recalling past failures
o You’ll be pessimistic and negative, or even suffer from chronic depression
o You’ll be seeking revenge toward yourself at different times
o You’ll manifest self-destructive behaviors.
o You’ll be disrespectful towards yourself
o You’ll be indifferent toward yourself and your needs
o You’ll be defensive and exhibit distant behavior towards others
o You’ll be controlled by your fear of failure, rejection, and non-approval
o You’ll have an emotional vacuum in which little or no emotions are shown
o You’ll be suspicious about others' motives when they’re accepting of you
o You’ll experience chronic hostility, sarcasm, and cynicism
It is a sad life!
Make a decision now to forgive yourself now.
Before Anything Else, Discern:
Are They Real Sins Or Imagined Sins?
Before we even forgive ourselves—or even ask forgiveness from God—answer one question. Have you really sinned against God? Or have you just failed someone else’s standards?
Sometimes, we can set up our selves for big-time guilt by making lots of rules that God never wanted us to make.
For example, in the 1980’s, I used to teach my community members this spiritual regimen: To pray one hour a day, read the Bible one hour a day, and read other spiritual books one hour a day—for a total of 3 hours a day. I also encouraged them to go for daily Mass, daily Rosary, and an hour before the Blessed Sacrament. I was still a young teen then, and I could certainly do all of that, but I was oblivious to the fact that my members had jobs and kids to take care of. Boy, did I set them up for a very long guilt trip! (Forgive me, Lord.) None of them could ever measure up to my standards. But those rules that I made were just mine, not God’s rules. (Leaders need to be careful not to set people up to discouragement, or we rob them of joy in their life with God.)
I also remember a woman who felt guilty for disappointing her husband again and again. She would constantly ask for forgiveness from God for being a terrible wife. But when she described her husband to me, I instantly knew that he was the problem. He wanted his clothes to be pressed in a particular way, his egg cooked in a particular way, his newspaper laid out on the table each morning in a particular way. And if his wife will not do it in this particular way, he labelled her as a disappointing wife. Not true! I told her that she has not sinned and there was nothing to ask forgiveness from God.
But if we have indeed sinned against God, then let us take these next two steps…
Forgive Yourself Now!
Let’s pray.
Place your hands on your chest.
Step #1: Ask God For Forgiveness
Lord, forgive me now, in Jesus name. Forgive me for all my sins and failures. I believe You love me. I believe that Your love is bigger than my sins and failures. Today, I receive your forgiveness. Thank you for loving me!
Step #2: Forgive Yourself
Today, I make a choice to forgive ME. I know that God has forgiven me. I don’t have to be perfect for me to love ME. I am a very good person because God made me very good. As God loves me, so do I love ME. I no longer need to condemn me. I am forgiven by God, and I forgive ME, in Jesus name. Amen.
Let’s now move to the second step of loving yourself…
2. Accept Your Weaknesses
What’s the difference between forgiving yourself and accepting your weakness?
Answer: We only forgive ourselves for our sin. We don’t forgive ourselves for being weak. Because being weak isn’t a sin. It’s part of being a human being.
Let me give you an analogy. I know of some parents who scold (note: scream) at their kids for being noisy and playful. At moments like these, I want to intervene and say, “Mother, listen to yourself. You’re actually angry at them for being kids?”
That’s what we do too to ourselves. Because we are our harshest critics.
If you want to love yourself, you need to celebrate who you are—your strengths and weaknesses combined. Especially your weaknesses!
Fire Your Inner Parrot
Let me tell you a story.
On her way home, a woman was walking on the sidewalk. She saw a parrot in a pet shop window. Upon seeing her, the parrot said, “Lady, you are really ugly!”
Shocked, the woman walked away in a huff.
The next day, she walked again on the same road. She saw again the parrot peering through the pet shop window. And sure enough, when the parrot saw her, it said, “Lady, you are really ugly!”
The woman couldn’t take it anymore. She barged in the pet shop and told the owner, “Your bird outside has been telling me that I’m ugly. You better do something about that parrot. When I walk here tomorrow, and that bird says the same thing about me, I’ll sue you!” The owner was very apologetic and said, “It won’t happen again, Ma’am.”
The next day, she walked home on that same road. Once again, she sees the parrot, and the parrot sees her. She stopped and with an icy stare asked, “Yes?”
The bird, strutting back and forth, cocked, “You know.”
You Don’t Have To Be Perfect To Love Yourself
Friends, many of us have an inner parrot that tells us, “You’re ugly.”
We have an inner parrot that we carry around within us, cruel and rude. We actually don’t need the devil anymore to accuse us and damn us to Hell. Because we do it ourselves.
These feelings of shame drive us to our addictions.
Friend, fire your inner parrot. (Better yet, fry him with olive oil, a little garlic, and chilli.)
Start telling yourself the truth: That you’re God’s child and beautiful beyond imagination. And that God will use even your worst weaknesses.
Remember: You don’t have to be perfect to be loved.
Your Weakness Is A Gift
In the Bible, St. Paul boasted of his “Thorn in the Flesh”.
It was his weakness. Bible scholars don’t know what it was, but here are some intelligent guesses:
o temptation
o persecution
o sexual desires
o physical appearance
o epilepsy
o eyesight trouble
o chronic malaria fever
But whatever it was, about this weakness, he said these immortal, mind-boggling words. “At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me, "My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness.”[9]
How can your weakness be gift?
Your Weakness Blesses You In 3 Great Ways
First, my weaknesses humble me. It makes me depend on God even more. And I see how He uses me mightily despite all my weaknesses! That is why the Bible says, God chooses what the world considers weak in order to shame the powerful.[10]
Second, my weaknesses make me more merciful towards others. I believe that someone who easily judges others hasn’t yet accepted his own weaknesses. If he had, he wouldn’t be judgmental. But because he hasn’t, he projects his self-anger towards other people.
Third, my weaknesses bond me with others in a way that nothing else can. When I share the story of my past and my addiction to someone else, I disrobe my defences and become vulnerable to him. In this way, I also give permission to that person to disrobe his defences as well.
Friend, thank God for your weaknesses, your struggles, and your problems.
They are great gifts that will bless you and others.
Let’s now go to the third way of loving yourself.
3. Feel Your Feelings
A long time ago, I didn’t feel my feelings. I didn’t bother with them. If they became intense, I shunned them.
To me, all desires were sinful. And all emotions were just part of the “flesh”, not of the “spirit”. Feelings were the enemies of God. At the very least, they were bothersome things that distracted me from doing God’s will.
No wonder I was in such an internal mess!
Because when we don’t feel our feelings, we treat ourselves with disrespect!
I was acting very rudely towards myself.
My Love Tank was empty because I wasn’t loving myself enough to even listen to my feelings. Remember: Feelings are the windows of the soul. When I wasn’t feeling my feelings, I didn’t have a clue what was happening inside me.
Again, self was an enemy of God, so why bother?
Just focus on God’s Word, and viola, everything will be solved, right?
How wrong I was.
Because God was speaking to me through my most negative emotions, and I wasn’t listening.
Identify Your Feeling;
And Identify The Source Of Your Feelings
Sometimes, I can’t even identify what I was feeling.
I just knew it was a bad feeling—that’s why I was running away from it.
I didn’t know if it was sadness or fear or worry or anger.
But when I run away from my bad feelings, I run away from myself.
Today, I know what to do.
I sit down, be quiet for a while, and identify what I feel. I don’t just go rushing about in my busy day.
When I identify it, then I feel the feeling. I feel it before God’s Presence.
I also try to identify the source of these feelings.
Why am I feeling this way?
Is there any action that I need to do?
Sometimes, this first step of “feeling my feelings” is all that’s needed. I don’t have to do anything else.
By feeling what I feel, I respect myself.
By feeling what I feel, I heal myself.
It may take time for the painful feelings to pass, but ultimately, I rise from it whole and peaceful.
Sometimes, I have to do something else. Perhaps I need to surrender to God. Perhaps I need to do something concrete, like talk to someone or solve a problem.
In the End,
You Still Do What God Wants You To Do
No, I’m not supposed to follow my feelings blindly.
That’s from the crazy guys that preach, “Do what you feel. If you feel like punching someone, then punch a pillow or wall. If you feel like screaming, then go inside your room and scream like hell. If you want to get drunk, then drink…” I don’t buy that strategy.
I didn’t say, “Do what you feel.” I said, “Feel what you feel.”
When you feel your feelings before the Presence of God’s love, in the end, you still do what God wants you to do. But you allowed yourself to feel your painful feelings, to validate them, and to listen to its inner messages.
This is a very important step of loving yourself.
Remember what I said about the immediate cause of our addictions? Because we want to escape our painful emotions.
But by entering into our painful feelings with boldness, we realize that they’re not as terrifying as we feared them to be. After awhile, we no longer need our addictions. Because we no longer need escape routes from our painful emotions.
Finally, we come to the fourth step of loving ourselves.
4. Trust Your Needs
I don’t know about you, but I’ve been taught by my brand of religion not to trust my feelings—and not to trust my needs as well. Because I figured my desires are most likely from the flesh, not from the spirit.
The message I received was this: “Fear yourself. Fear your desires. Fear your selfishness. Don’t trust yourself. Instead, trust God. Trust your group. Trust your leader. Trust the system…” (This is the reason why there is so much spiritual abuse happening in religious groups.)
Oh, what a terrible thing to believe!
Priests, preachers, and pastors love to emphasize this message: “Don’t trust yourself!” Directly or indirectly, they will ask their members to simply rely in the leaders’ wisdom and decisions. Unintentionally, they produce people who are infants in their emotional and spiritual growth.
Instead of freedom, religion shackles us to immaturity. (God calls us to be childlike, not childish.)
God Trusts You—
When Will You Learn To Trust You?
Instead, we need to hear a new message.
What message? That You’re made in the image and likeness of God![11] That you’re not just good. You’re very good![12] So trust yourself because God trusts you. He trusts you by calling you His child. He trusts you by planting His Kingdom in you. He trusts you by dwelling within you. He trusts you by commissioning you to be His presence in the world. He trusts you to love the way He does…”
Wow! (Believe me, when I pray, when I read the Bible, when I listen to God’s voice in the depths of my heart, I say “Wow!” many, many times.)
And one way of trusting yourself is to trust your needs.
Not your sinful needs. (That’s what you need to deny.) But your legitimate, valid, and God-planted needs.
Meet those needs. Even your need for joy.
Some people view all pleasure as bad. Their unwritten motto: “If it feels good, it must be bad.” That’s not true.
I believe life was given by God to be enjoyed to the full. To be savoured with delight. So taste. Breathe. Relish. Dance. Sing. Live!
When we enjoy life, we allow others to enjoy as well. (Ever wondered why some religious people are so stuck-up, they don’t allow anyone to enjoy life?)
Love yourself!
What is Draining You?
Get Rid Of It If You Can.
I don’t intend to write a complete list of how you need to care for yourself. (I’ll do that in another article.)
But here’s a question I want you to ask yourself: What is draining you?
What person, thing, activity, group, habit, situation, and places in your life drains your joy and life and energy and holiness? What sucks your happiness?
If you can get rid of that draining thing, do so!
By doing that, you’ll grow up and have more life and energy for the right things that God wants you to do.
In other words, I’m asking you to set your boundaries.
Let me list the probable “draining” things in your life…
1. Take care of your emotional health.
o I spend a lot of time with “emotional vampires”—people who are so dependent on me, or those who are exceedingly negative, or those who emotionally manipulate me…
o I still hang on to a dead-end romantic relationship
o I don’t have close friends
o I watch too much TV
o I don’t have time just to rest and reflect, to read and plan
2. Take care of your family life
o My relationship with my spouse and kids is shallow
o I have a long-standing conflict with a family member
o My home environment is chaotic
o I feel I’m not a great mother (father, son, daughter…)
3. Take care of your professional life
o I don’t enjoy my job
o I feel that I’m not fulfilling my mission in my job
o I feel that my core gifts can be used elsewhere
o I can no longer work with my co-workers
o I don’t see a future in my career
4. Take care of your physical health
o I don’t eat the right food
o I don’t sleep enough
o I don’t exercise enough
o I have a vice that’s robbing me of my health
5. Take care of your financial health
o I let “parasites” depend on me instead of letting them stand on their own
o I have huge debts
o I pay my bills late
o I don’t know where my money is going each month
o I don’t have savings and investment plan
o I know I won’t have enough for my retirement and old age
6. Take care of your spiritual health
o I’m in bondage to an addiction that’s draining me spiritually
o I focus on my sin, not on God’s love for me
o I don’t spend time with God
o I lack a faith community of friends to support me
o I feel I’m not following my own moral compass
o I feel I’m not serving God and others
If you checked any of the items above, do something about it! Ask for help.
But don’t get drained to the point that there’s nothing to give anymore.
Love The Sinner And The Saint Within
We’re tempted to only see the sinner in us.
Remind yourself that there’s a saint in you too.
Last July, I had a few birthday parties among close friends.
It has been our tradition that we honor birthday celebrants—so it was my turn to be in the hot seat.
I have to be honest with you. It’s always unnerving to be honored by friends for an hour—but after awhile, I felt my Love Tank filled up.
For example, one friend recalled how I helped him during a time of need. (I did? Really?) Another friend shared how she was so touched by my compassion. Another friend honored me for how I stood by him even when everyone else rejected him.
I wish the Preacher In Blue Jeans camera was on! (That’s my Reality TV show on the internet. You can watch my shows for FREE at www.preacherinbluejeans.com) Too bad it wasn’t. No, not so that you would hear their honoring. But so that I could replay them and I could hear them again—especially during times of self-doubt. When I feel bad. When I feel I’m not worthy. (Yes, I go through those times.)
This is a universal experience.
Let me end by sharing a beautiful story I read in the Chicken Soup series…
Remind Yourself That You’re A Saint Within
One day, a teacher asked her students in class to write the names of the other students on a piece of paper. “And leave space between each name,” she instructed.
When they finished, the teacher said, “Underneath each name, I want you to write the good things you see in that person.” Immediately, the kids busied themselves with the task and took the whole class to finish it.
The teacher took the papers home and collated the material. On one piece of paper per child, she wrote all the positive qualities written by their classmates.
On the next class, she handed out the papers to the kids. They were very happy to read the letters. “Wow, am I really this person?” some of them gushed.
Many, many years later, the teacher received a phone call. One of her former students, who had become a soldier, was killed in battle. Would she want to attend the funeral?
She went and saw many of her former students condoling with the bereaved family. As she stood beside the coffin, looking at the lifeless body of a young man in uniform inside, a middle-aged woman approached her. “Are you my son’s grade school teacher?”
“Yes,” she said, “you must be his mother. My deepest condolences.”
“I’d like to show something to you,” the mother said. “My son had this inside his wallet when he died.” She pulled out a worn-out piece of paper. It was obvious that it had been folded and unfolded many times.
Even before it was opened, the teacher already knew what it was. It was the piece of paper that contained the list of positive qualities his classmates saw in him. Kept and read all through the years.
By that time, her other students had gathered around both of them.
A young man beside the teacher said, “Uh, I carry mine wherever I go too.”
A woman from behind said, “I still keep mine. It’s in my diary.”
Another man said, “I display my list on my desk at home.”
Another woman said, “It seems like all of us kept that paper all these years!”
The teacher was moved beyond words.
Why would a simple piece of paper mean so much?
Because here’s the truth: Life can be rough. At various time, it can even be cruel. Every time we fail, every time we receive criticism, every time we get rejected, we doubt our worth. We doubt our goodness.
We are very desperate for love.
We need to love the saint within us.
Friend, love yourself.
Each day, celebrate your positive qualities. Celebrate your goodness. Celebrate your beauty.
Thank God for how wonderful He made you.
Love the sinner and the saint within.
I remain your friend,
Bo Sanchez
PS1. Attention Singles! I’m finally giving this powerful Seminar and Course for you again. (I haven’t given this for a year as I became too busy with other things.) This September 8, 2007, I’m giving again my exciting and life-changing Course, How To Find Your One True Love. It includes the whole Course manual, and 8 DVDs, 8 Audio CDs of the Course. For more information, click here. You may also call Beckie at Tel. (02) 7229562 (Tuesdays to Fridays, 9am-6pm).
PS2. Good News! I’m mailing a FREE Novena To God’s Love Prayer Booklet to all my friends who give a monthly Love Offering to our ministry through www.KerygmaFamily.com I made the Novena To God’s Love myself. It’s designed to focus your life on 7 Dreams that you’re going to pray for and act upon. (If you’re not yet a member of www.KerygmaFamily.com, log on there now.)
PS3. I’m giving the mind-blowing, income-expanding How To Be Truly Rich Seminar on September 1, 2007, in Quezon City. This For more information, click here. You may also call Beckie at Tel. (02) 7229562 (Tuesdays to Fridays, 9am-6pm).
[1] 1 John 4:19
[2] Matthew 15:3-5
[3] Jeremiah 31:34
[4] Isaiah 43:25
[5] 1 John 1:9
[6] Romans 8:1
[7] Luke 6:36-38
[8] Proverbs 16:18
[9] 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 (The Message)
[10] 1 Corinthians 1:27
[11] Genesis 1:27
[12] Genesis 1:31
I think this is so far the most insightful and touching article I've read in a long time. Thank you. Your words pierce and heal at the same time. It really is hard to love yourself. Especially when you've been fighting long and hard... and yet it's not enough in the end.
ReplyDeleteBut you're right. We can only keep on fighting the good fight when we love and forgive ourselves. Thanks Bro. Bo!
This is truly a heart-warming article. It is definitely something that all people should really ponder about especially those who are already serving in the Lord. It sets the proper dynamics of truly loving. To love God and to love others also mean loving oneself. As what the word JOY means, it is to love JESUS, OTHERS and YOU -- the self.
ReplyDeleteMay this article continue to touch more and more Christians the way it has touched me. Thank you Bo for being an instrument of change!
Upon reading this article, I have realized so many things. Before I thought i am unforgiveable.
ReplyDeleteThanks Bro Bo. Thanks for sharing your life and may you continue to inspire others.
You're really a blessing.
Dear Bro. Bo,
ReplyDeleteIam overwhelmed by how you accept the prersence of the Holy Spirit upon you. Most of us are blind and deaf ears to what God wants to convey to us. Indeed, this is a very inspiring article. Thank you for making a big difference in my life.... Continue to be a blessing to others...
Looking forward for more insights from you. God bess you.
Dear Brother in Christ Bo,
ReplyDeleteI was really grateful of your article LOVE THE SINNER and THE SAINT WITHIN YOU coz after reading it, i felt re-charged and i felt that I was awaken from a deep sleep; i feel good about myself now. I am a member of the Singles for Christ but then Im have been wondering why am i still suffering from spiritual dryness and depression for quite a long time now. I just knew the reason when i read your article... My million thanks once again for sharing with me this very enlightening and very inspiring article.. GOD BLESS YOU ALWAYS!
thank you so much Bro. Bo. you have no idea how deeply touched i was while reading your article. i too have my own addictions & i am undergoing a lot of self doubt & struggle with my relarionshup with God right now. reading your article has opened my eyes & my heart to a lot of things. i am in the process of healing & reading this article today has helped a lot. THANK YOU SO MUCH. you are really a blessing to me.
ReplyDeletei watched Kerygma TV yesterday & i'd like to commend you for opening my eyes. THANK YOU:)
thank you so much Bro. Bo. you have no idea how deeply touched i was while reading your article. i too have my own addictions & i am undergoing a lot of self doubt & struggle with my relationship with God right now. reading your article has opened my eyes & my heart to a lot of things. i am in the process of healing & reading this article today has helped a lot. THANK YOU SO MUCH. you are really a blessing to me.
ReplyDeletei watched Kerygma TV yesterday & i'd like to commend you for opening my eyes. THANK YOU:)
Hi Bo ! When I read your story about the teacher, I can't help but recall the marriage encounter seminar which my husband and i attended years ago. We had a notebook where we wrote endearing qualities of each other. Those who attended this seminar surely treasures their notebooks because for most of us, it is the first time (and hopefully not the last) that we focused on the good qualities of our loved ones.
ReplyDeleteI am also reminded of the home made cards ( or should I say, school-made cards) from my children - usually during mother's day - telling me that they appreciate the times when I was there to help them. Their English and grammar may not be perfect but for sure, most parents have a box or an envelope containing these letters. When my mother died, I saw an album where she placed the cards given to her by me and my children and her sisters.
Thank you so much for sharing this 8-part series with us. May God continue to bless you as you continue to be a blessing to others.
Hi! i agree Bro. Bo. We can't give love if we don't have it in ourselves, for how can we share a thing when we don't have it. Loving oneself is being receptive to God's love Who is the Source of all love. Yes, God forgives and once He does, He won't remember a thing we 've done...His Love and Mercy beyond measure!
ReplyDeleteThanks much for this wonderful article.
Hi Bro Bo,
ReplyDeleteIt is indeed timely for me to read this article as I'm experiencing self doubt and unworthiness in my life.After reading,It uplifted my spirit.Like a compass that will guide my direction,I now have an idea where to start as I am on my new journey in life...new place....new chapter.....new beginning..May God continue to you bless you Bro.Bo.
Thanks Bo! This article is just in time. I feel very low and lonely cause there's somebody who keeps on saying and doing things that makes me feel bad of myself. The words from a popular song - "learning to love yourself, is the greatest love of all" - keeps nudging on me for the past days but I just can't get the message and I'm really thankful I read your article because I know this is what I'm missing. God bless.
ReplyDeletewow
ReplyDeleteno words
just tears
no words can explain why i am crying? i am still crying and crying...tears cascading down my cheek like rain...lashing and buffeting like a whirlwind from no where. i am HIT.......MY GOD.........
ReplyDeletebrother bo, thank you for such an honest insight. it was an overwhelmingly pleasant experience to read your article. Thank you for touching my heart.
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
Thanks, Bo for sharing yourself. I learned to understand so much about myself, where am I now and how I feel now. And it did truly came in time, just can't stop finishing your sharing. It open so many things for me to understand. God bless you always!
ReplyDeleteIam really moved by this Bo,thank you very much for this "eye opener".Now,i just realized how "beautiful"i am inside and out.Thank you for continously inspiring us,you're truly a blessing Bo.
ReplyDeleteDear Bo,
ReplyDeleteIt's just an article that I really need at this point of time. Having so many changes in my life recently, I think I'm in the confusion stage of life and hard to love myself.
This sharing of yours reminds me once again that I need to do several things in order to grow more mature in Him.
Thanks a lot for sharing it with us!
God Bless...
.......thanks, bo! God indeed is using you as His instrument!
ReplyDeleteBro. Thank you for this ispiring article. I just ilke to ask for a copy of the first 2 articles on this topic. I searched in my email and never found them. Thanks again. God bless you.
ReplyDeleteBro.Bo, Thank you for this inspiring article. I just ilke to ask for a copy of the first 2 articles on this topic. I searched in my email and never found them. Thanks again. God bless you.
ReplyDeleteMaraming Salamat......
ReplyDeletethanks Bo! I always look forward to read your articles.
ReplyDeletei was enlightend by the article.
ReplyDeleteI would like to know the meaning of the word "discombobulated"...what is another word for this, please?
I thank God for making you an instrument to my spiritual growth.
God bless you always.
bro bo, you had been such a blessing.. thank you for being you..
ReplyDeletedear bro. bo,
ReplyDeletethank you so much for the insights and inspiring words. i grew up with inferiority complex as my twin or as my shadow, because i grew up learning that i am an illigitimate child and nobody loves me but my mother. you know the feeling rejected by your own father!
now i know Somebody up there loves me for what i am.
thank you!!!
I read this article while I was at the office. I kept hiding my tears but I can't. This is an important realization for me. Thank you for the insight.
ReplyDeleteDear Brother Bo,
ReplyDeleteWow! This is great, I am deeply touched by your article. This is the first time I've read a very enriching article. After reading, I felt relieved and recharged because I am hit "bulls eye" of some of the experiences and sharing you mentioned. Wala na akong masabi you hit it right in the middle.
Thank you for the very touching sharing Bro. Bo. May you continue to be a BLESSING to all of us following your preaching Bro. Bo, you are a GIFT from God for all of us.
Sincerely,
Nonoy
iam so blessed with this article, bo! it brought so much wisdom and faith to me. i now reaalized to love the enemy and the best friend within! iam healed and joyful. thanks, Lord for you, bo anchez! continue to be a blessing to others!
ReplyDeleteDear Bro.
ReplyDeleteYou are really a blessing to us all who read this wonderful and a healing article. You know I'm struggling with my inferiority complex because I never heard any praise when I was still small until I grew up.
I have never loved myself and I'm also proud,
Your words flash like a lightning that went deep inside my heart.
Thank you for touching my life and may I now learn to forgive & love myself.
God bless us all.
Mila
thanks Bro. Bo! this is very eye-opening and inspiring article for us to move on when we stumble in our sins. God just manifest how much He really loved us through this enlightening article.. May God bless you more with wisdom and insprations.
ReplyDeleteThanks Bro.Bo
ReplyDeletethis is another great articles.
God Bless You and Ur Family
i just couldn't stop my tears falling even in a second...i know what strikes me real hard without thinking of some one bigger and greater than me... now that i have found hIm i will never never let him go....Mountains, Valleys, clouds, thunder bolt, lightning come down upon me...swallow me, devour me without the slightest hesitation...consume me in that deep space of my heart and let me explode like a super nova. coz everything has passed away... i am now a new creation created by my creator....yes... this creature created by my creator often times turned out to become a monster beyond the creator's control...the devil in me is now vanishing in thin air...do you know why? coz i read something like this like a big screen before very eyes. bo...thank you very much...one day soon, i will say to myself," it is no longer i that live but Jesus christ lives in me."
ReplyDeleteit's again an eye-opener article for me.
ReplyDeletethank you for reminding me to love myself.
I really have a hard time focusing on my strengths.
Even if i tell myself," I love ME"; it's just to make me feel better in a minute and then, bwalah! go back again to my old self..i don't feel my feelings..
Thank you again for making me accept the reality.
hi bo! you have no idea how many young people desperately need to read your article... i myself cant think of the words to thank God that He made his wisdom easily understood by many through you... your article just hit me!!! it just reminded me of God's faithfulness as i learned to love myself...love my identity...love my being a son God!!
ReplyDeletetnx so much bro!!!
i am so blessed to open my mail... and see your message linking me to this article. :-) i don't know how you got my email address but i'd say it came at the right time... God direct me to your site... i guess he asked an angel... i guess you are the angel...
ReplyDeleteBrother Bo,
ReplyDeleteI attended one of your LSS when i was 14. Now i am 37 and still feel infantile in my emotions especially in dealing with men in an intimate relationship. My self-immolation and denial is so huge i cannot come to terms with my own needs. I tried to recapture my sense of spirituality and end up in legalistic reliougisity that robs me of my right to live and be happy. Your article brings back the memories of my past christian life. I realize that my internal discontent is rooted in my brokeness. God truly loves me. I have to love myself as well. Ameen....
Hello Brod Bo,
ReplyDeleteGreetings & Blessings for words that heals and touched lives!
Two years ago, I encouraged people in our community to do the Loving Ourselves thing . . . we got raised eyebrows and mixed negative reactions . .. How happy I am reading it now and coming from you. . . May you continue to Bless people like us in our Nakedness & Inadequacy . . .
Thank ypu so much for this! Reading it brought tears to my eyes. I have learned so much from this article! How I wish more people can read this, I know there are a lot out there who have not learned to love themselves nor have forgiven themselves. God bless you and your ministry!
ReplyDeletethank you very much. i'm slowly beginning to understand myself. i think i am ready to receive God for the second time. May God bless you and your people.
ReplyDeletei'm overwhelmed and speechless, thanks! may you continue to inspire us with your gifts. keep 'em up!
ReplyDeletei am really blessed with this article, i read it at the time when i needed it...The Lord will just really use people like you to inspire and to help those who are suffering from this REAL CASES...because when i read your article i was suffering from that very same reasons...I was looking for answers, and God did not fail to give me one through your article and I wish to share this discovery with my friends...
ReplyDeletethanks and keep inspiring people! God bless always!
thank you bro bo............
ReplyDeleteyour a God's gift to everyone...
Hi Bro. Bo! When I started reading this article, I was excited to know the content because for the past month, I was very angry and depressed for what happened to me. I felt God has forsaken me and that I was not worthy of His blessings. I thought that there's something wrong with me. However, when I read the steps on how to love oneself, I was full of tears because I forgot how to love myself. I was busy loving others by giving up what I wanted to give myself. Now, I know that I must love myself first before others so that I can share that love (God's love) to others as well.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much!! You're my angel.
ReplyDeleteBro. Bo,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for being a wonderful instrument of God reminding us always to love ourselves, no matter what -- like He always does.
May God continue to bless you!
More power!
Dearest Bro Bo,
ReplyDeleteYou touched my broken heart and made it whole again ! I felt this overwhelming and tight embrace from our GRACIOUS GOD while reading your blessings and it made me cry for joy. Joy of knowing that I am loved ...that there are people like you who go out of their way to reach and tell the world of the GREATEST LOVE OF GOD. May GOD bless you always.
Hello,Bro. Bo!
ReplyDeleteI really find your article very authentic as to your personal experiences of how the Lord has led you to freedom from hurts and negative experiences from your childhood...freedom from their more hurting consequences. But, you and all people who had experienced the same woundedness in their childhood practically, had no control of what had happened to them because of tenderness of age..
i was also inspired with what the teacher in your story asked her pupils to do. How I wish I could also do that to my own children, especially when we, their parents do not know what they might have experienced or gotten into in moments we are not around to supervise them, given that we are both working, and that they too are schooling..
Bro, may you come up with an article, or a module perhaps on how to foster bonding with children together with their parents and siblings, and how to process possible buried hurts in them brought by some experiences which might have already caused damage to their persons, without their parents knowing about them. I request this because i want our kids to live a happy and healthy life as much as possible, by providing them early interventions when it comes to their needs for psycho-emotional healing
Hello,Bro. Bo!
ReplyDeleteI really find your article very authentic as to your personal experiences of how the Lord has led you to freedom from hurts and negative experiences from your childhood...freedom from their more hurting consequences. But, you and all people who had experienced the same woundedness in their childhood practically, had no control of what had happened to them because of tenderness of age..
i was also inspired with what the teacher in your story asked her pupils to do. How I wish I could also do that to my own children, especially when we, their parents do not know what they might have experienced or gotten into in moments we are not around to supervise them, given that we are both working, and that they too are schooling..
Bro, may you come up with an article, or a module perhaps on how to foster bonding with children together with their parents and siblings, and how to process possible buried hurts in them brought by some experiences which might have already caused damage to their persons, without their parents knowing about them. I request this because i want our kids to live a happy and healthy life as much as possible, by providing them early interventions when it comes to their needs for psycho-emotional healing.
Thank you, and more love and power in the Lord!
In Christ,
Meenje
rain was lashing so strong last night that as if the time has finally come to taste heaven in a sense as now expected by every one...welcoming the new dawn, the morning sun, the first ray of light from the one behind the source of life...bo, this is the awesome result of your god sent endeavor to at least minimize human suffering in this valley of tears. the thunder clap of my heart beat has indeed reverberated in the air like a supersonic boom zigzagging in the deep cyber space, heralding in the horizon that so lucky i am that i read like this that inspire my lonely heart.... my never ending quest of zest in life would soon discover that he alone would make me so happy...making me one day the crowning glory of God's creation...from glory to glory like a star shining in the firmament. thank you and thank you...please, dont give up the good fight for heaven's sake....shoot like a shooting star and shoot again and again and establish a rainbow connection in every one's heart... until the end comes in its silently way in its path sometime and somewhere in eternity.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful, wonderful message! :) I am trying to forgive myself for not having been able to conceive a child for the past 5 years. Thank you for sharing God's love. May you be blessed a thousandfold for sharing such kindness with many in need of love.
ReplyDeletethank you so much.
ReplyDeleteit brought me back to my senses....
my worth as a person was revived.
thank you so much.
You are really God-sent.
Food for the soul indeed. I'm a fan of Bo. Bo's books. I'd be glad to attend your Kerygma feast.
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
Brod Bo,
ReplyDeleteMaybe God sent you to me as an angel to answer many questions inside my heart, im struggling to know what i really want for my life, why i am here in land, what is my mission in life. My life is empty i dont know what to do with this it seems that i'm always searching for something that could fill up my emptiness, thank you for inspiring me and im now beggining to understand my need now, pls pray for me that i could find the answer to this longging in my heart.
God Bless,
Theresa
Bo, thanks for being God's messenger.
ReplyDeleteI didn't realize how unloving i am to myself.
Godbless! continue to bless more people! :)
thank you so much brother bo! :)
ReplyDeleteyour articles never fails to touch me..
and this ...the message...just what i need right now, :)
just want to thank you for all your inspirational talks..
ReplyDeletethese words made me live my life again..
wishing you all the best things in life
God bless you po..
i am really blessed by this article too. i always hear my inner parrot hating me. i now i'm gonna fry it. hehe but seriously Bo, thank you so much. this article made God's love to me more real. now i know i can love the saint and sinner within me and fully experience God's love. God bless u!
ReplyDeleteTouching! An eye opener!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing it w/ us!
God Bless and More power!
maraming salamat sir bo! god bless all of us.
ReplyDeleteit was really an inspiring article....... an eye opener to our old beliefs about selfishness and truly loving ourself,,,, i am also struck by this article and tnx 4 openingthis truth 2 me..... i hope others cud read ds also........MORE POWER 2 UR MINISTRY!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteDear Bo, truly it is a inspiring article that every people should read, thank you for always carrying and teaching others by your meaningful article,
ReplyDeletehope you will always give people a reading article the inspiring one.
Kuya Bo,
ReplyDeletePraise God because he uses you to send us his messages
Godbless and more power
this is exactly what i needed at this very moment...for some time i feel that i'm not growing...and now i know why and how to brow more in love with God.:D thanks friend! you're a blessing!
ReplyDeletethis is exactly what i needed at this very moment...for some time i feel that i'm not growing...and now i know why and how to grow more in love with God.:D thanks friend! you're a blessing!
ReplyDeleteGod's ways of reminding me of the unconditional love He has for me never fails to amaze me..
ReplyDeleteit' s a relfection that really comes in to my life
ReplyDeletedear bo,
ReplyDeletewhere can i send? what address that i can have it sent?
thank you very much for the unique way to glorify the Lord...
Dear Bo,
ReplyDeleteI really thank you for continuing sending articles in my e-mail. Im happy and inspired with it. Sana nga madami pang makabasa. I'l share it with my friends.
I know many young people like me need this kind of message. Beyond doubt, you are God's instrument to bring his message of love that is already within us the moment of our conception. I always believe that loving self is the way of loving God for that God is closer to myself than I with myself.
Maraming salamat po! God bless po!
thanks for sharing this topic to all of us.
ReplyDeleteWheewww... its actually very long... but you know this seems to be the first long message that i have read in computer... and its worth while... Today is the Feast of Guardian Angels and i believe my friend who lead me to read this article is a heaven sent likewise Bro. Bo... Its been my life's question on loving thy self but through this article i know God had showed me more than i expect about loving my self. I'm really thankful to God for my friend who share this website of Bro. Bo and to Bro. Bo keep on sharing the light, you're really an ANGEL in a human suit. God bless you and more power to your mission!!!
ReplyDeleteyour articles and books really inspire me to go on with life...
ReplyDeleteand i know that GOD is just around the corner.. waiting to be recognized.. we just have to ask for help..
thanks..
Thanks Bo!
ReplyDeleteanother inspiring article
just when i fall into depression many times over... just when i fall into the same temptation again... just when i needed the nth 2nd chance...
ReplyDeletethis is definitely a moment spirituality--simply God telling me: come on, give yourself a break... start loving yourself... and let My love fill you in...
we only need the give His love a chance...
thanks Bro Bo!
I realy love reading your story.thank you so much...................GOD BLESS U MORE
ReplyDeleteI have to ask for some advice...
ReplyDeleteI have hurt my friends and was able to talk to them already. But they still have issues that needed to be resolved... I have admitted my fault and said sorry for this! Do I still need to talk to them again?
But I was planning to have time for myself for a while. To resolve my own personal issues. Is not having communication with them fine?
Help!
Uncommon... To love yourself, because most of us teach us love the others instead of love ourself and always. I am realized now I must love myself first, before I can enjoy my self...
ReplyDeleteThank you for a such inspiring reading
thank you for this article :)
ReplyDeletei usually give long responses, and the one above seem rather generic, but i mean it. thank you :)
To God be the glory! very inspiring and touching...
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this. I was searching for some answers and God lead me here. God gave me the answer I was looking for through your message.
God Bless you Bro. Bo.
Dear Bo,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your inspiring articles. This one came to me at the right moment....
It is really a hard time to me to forgive myself about my failures and wrong desicions I had made.. Although my family has been very supportive, still I'm punishing myself for the mistakes I did...
It is also came to be very hard moment in my career when I lost my confidence that I can be success...
It's all pride that I'm holding....
thank you for reminding me that God loves me more than my mistakes, my sins, and even my thoughts about myself...
God bless you..
Dear Bo,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your inspiring articles. This one came to me at the right moment....
It is really a hard time to me to forgive myself amount my failures and wrong desicions I had made.. Although my family has been very supportive, still I'm punishing myself for the mistakes I did...
It is also came to be very hard moment in my career when I lost my confidence that I can be success...
It's all pride that I'm holding....
thank you for reminding me that God loves me more than my mistakes, my sins, and even my thoughts about myself...
God bless you..
good mornin! i read this article this week and now i feel as though I am already healed with my own addiction. I think it's true that I need to forgive myself so that I can be healed. Thank you for this wonderful article that reminded me how much God loves me and forgives me and so I can forgive myself as well. GodblesS you! Thank you! It means a lot especially that I am facing now what I think is one of the hardest and most painful part in my life. This article made me wake up today and I want to thank you. I hope that I can completely endure my suffering right now and that everyone who reads this article may become inspired and healed as well. Thank you and GodblesS!
ReplyDeleteI have a 4-year-old son and yet here I am alone in my rented condo on Mother's day trying to find meaningful ways to waste away my time because I feel that I simply cannot do it(work) today. I have always been wanting to get a piece of God through you because I like the way you do it and say it...very universal and contemporary...(EXCELLENT! in other words)...
ReplyDeleteThis article I should say is the very core of what I am going through right now. I LOVE IT!
Thank you God for you and for many others who inspire people like me.
Reading this article made me realized how God really loves me despite my sins and weaknesses....
ReplyDeleteI am begiining to understand that the situation i am in right now is the best for me no matter how painful it is... He needs to remove me from it so He can restore me to become the person He intended me to be.....