“Lord, help me to bless people today.”
That’s my daily morning prayer... uh, when I’m happy.
And usually, I am.
But once in awhile, I don’t wake up happy.
And usually, it’s because of a difficult person in my life.
That’s when I pray, “Lord, how can I bless this… this… this… creature?”
I’m a very patient person, so this doesn’t happen too often.
But it happens.
Friend, do you have a difficult person in your life?
And do you sometimes want to pray, “Lord, if you will allow it, let a 50,000 megawatt bolt of lightning strike (Name of Difficult Person) right now. Not to kill him, Lord. Just enough to wake him up and give him second degree burns. Just kidding Lord, but with all due respect, what were you thinking when you created this pathological human being? I don’t want to sound offensive, but were you sleeping on the job when you created this creature? He’s a mess. He’s a composite of all the villains of Spiderman put together….”
Do you sometimes wonder if this difficult person heard God in the middle of the night say, “My child, your ultimate mission in life is to be difficult. That’s the entire purpose of your existence. You shall be the thorn in someone’s flesh. Do everything in your power to annoy him. Be irresponsible. Or be demanding. Or be totally negative. Or be selfish. Or be constantly angry. Or be possessive. Or be always depressed. It doesn’t matter. Your objective is to make his life hell on earth.”
Yes, I must admit that I don’t like a few unlovable characters here and there, but generally, I think the Almighty has done a fantastic job inventing human beings.
I also believe that God allows difficult people to come into our lives to give us very special gifts. What could these gifts be?
I’m going to try something new today. Instead of writing down what these gifts are, I’m going to ask YOU to write them on the comments below. Write your thoughts and experiences and share them to the world. Thousands will be reading them. And in my next email next week, I’ll tell you what I think they are…
Cool?
Thank you!
May your dreams come true,
Bo Sanchez
PS. Join now and be blessed! I created a borderless, international, non-physical community called www.kerygmafamily.com When you join, you receive daily Bible reflections, Kerygma magazine each month, and a mountain load of other great nourishment for your spiritual life. Plus a whole world of friends who believe in what you believe in! You can also (optional) support our ministry of sharing God’s love to as many people as possible through media evangelization and our work for the poorest of the poor. Log on at www.kerygmafamily.com now!
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yes, I have this supervisor who's very mean......I mean really really mean.......that all of her staff doesn't like to see or to talk to her......including me......and that's the reason i chose to work during nights......so that i don't have to see her.....but unfortunately i still have to see her in the morning before i leave......so not much of a choice, is there!!!!!!! So everytime i see her i just give her my best smile (plastic!!!!) and i just pray to the Lord ''Lord kayo nang bahala sa kanya......sana i-touch Nyo po ang puso nya'' .....ganon lang!!!! Pero sa totoo lang inis na inis at bwisit na bwisit tlaga ako sa kanya....pero nagso-sorry naman ako kay Lord sa nararamdaman ko sa kanya....pero wala talaga akong magawa eh! Ang tindi talaga nong taong yon.....feeling ko ng magsabog ang Diyos ng kabutihan sa mundo eh.....isang botelyang sleeping pills ang ininom nya......hehehe!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWhen my dad told me during my 22nd bday that he had an affair with another girl (a flight stewardess), that shook me to my limits. I went to work crying and answered calls with a terrible voice. I kept it to myself since my dad asked me to do so...I kept my promise for so many years because I want my family to be intact. I told myself, that I know he can change and that he has been a good provider to us; not until last year before I turned 27. I think it was last May when someone texted my mom telling her that my dad is "babaero." When my mom told me about it, I went to my room asking myself if im gonna tell my mom and my younger sister about it. I was so shocked. I thought my dad would end it. But I was terribly wrong. He had an online affair with probably 3 ladies and I am not sure if he was able to meet those girls in person. It broke my heart and spirit. My dad lied to me. He was my idol. I know he is great dad. =( but maybe I was wrong.
ReplyDeleteWell anyway, I asked my mom to just ignore the text messages, but she said NO because "I know your dad and I know he's been doing this for so long now."
Yeah, in short my dad is a womanizer. =( But my mom ignored that attitude and remained faithful and loving to my dad. She cooks everyday, takes good care of the house, etc.
last year, I told my younger sister (25 yrs old) that I know dad had an affair way back when I was still 22 yrs old. She got so mad and cursed me so much. She told me that I lied to her and to my mom. I explained to her that I just want to keep this family intact and I thought dad can change it. She can she can never forgive me and she even texted my dad saying "kahit kelan hindi ako maniniwala sa mga pinagsasabi mo dahil puro ka kasinungalingan."
After that incident, my sister never uttered a word to me. I wrote her an email, apologized for so many times and explained my side but I got no reply at all. =( It broke my heart and spirit to the point that I got so freaking mad at her and that I dont really want to see her. Sometimes when I see her, I wanted to cry and hug her so tight and tell her Pls understand. But she's a tough woman..so strong.
Because of that incident, I've learned to ignore her. But deep in my heart, I just CAN'T. I love her. =( Pls pray for me.
When I ask God for answers He sends one promptly. Thank you Bo!
ReplyDeleteI have been ministering to a diificult person for over a month now and everyday I pray to God that He guide me and give me His wisdom so I can be an effective minister to this person. I am in the verge of giving up on him kasi nga saradong sarado ang puso at galit sa mundo...tsk. But through the course of our conversations, I have learned to stretch my patience on him. Sana nga lang lahat ng mga pangaral ko at mga salita ng Diyos na shared ko sa kanya ay tumimo na sa puso niya at magkaroon na siya ng kaliwanagan ng puso at isip. Siguro nga po in God's time He will be the person God wants him to be.
Lord, by the wisdom and power of your Holy Spirit, please continue to guide me as I minister to this difficult person. Amen..
Thank you Jesus. Thank you Bo.
Difficult people give us Gift of Understanding and Courage..
ReplyDeleteFor me, it takes a broad mind to understand difficult people.. If we can only know their story bat sila nagkakaganon, then we will understand. We will be even thankful for them because through them, we became tough.. esp if they are your superior sa work..
I had a supervisor before in my first office work. She is so moody, very sensitive (and insensitive) stubborn and very much like of emma's boss (the comment above =)) My first two weeks sa work, I always cry tlga everytime I go home..
I was able to stay more than one year from that company when I was assigned to a different supervisor. When I came back to her supervision, naku I decided to call it quits na, she even beg me to stay until Xmas, eh Sept pa lang nun..
When I resigned, I feel so blessed. I am still thankful I met her, coz she made me stronger in a way.. I learned din na hiwalay pla siya sa asawa so maybe that causes her to be irritable most of the time.. =)
I have had my share of difficult persons in my life. Those type that will use you and take all the credit for all the good things you've done and blame you for not so good decisions they make. Those who cannot take responsibility and be accountable for their own actions, like two bosses I had. It's a good thing that despite of them, I love my job, enjoyed what I do and I have friends in the office that makes my situation a bearable. And I know deep in my heart that despite all of them God is good and He will redeem me from all of them. I just need to constantly pray and asked the grace of God to be patient and be more understanding.
ReplyDeleteRight now my life is a little easier because we had a reorganization and I was transferred to a unit where my current boss is very supportive of me. I know this is redemption!! Praise God!
A Difficult person in my life
ReplyDeleteYes unluckily husband k o yun. Just last night nag away kami, i had discovered a text message from a girl, na alam kong babae niya and naka imply na ngkikita sila. I was so depressed that night na prang gusto kong sumabog. He hurted me physically, sumakit nga ang katawan ko. But I just prayed na sana the Lord will change his personality, mainitin kasi ang ulo niya.Since nagkaroon kami ng big problem, dun nagstart ang pagiging mainitin ang ulo niya, naninigaw, nagmumura, but i still accept him coz i love him and also for my 2 kids. But just the other night he abused me physically i cried all night. But pinatwad ko din siya.
I believe that God allows difficult people to come into our lives so we learn how to discern, fight temptation, have an extra challenging job of loving, be more prayerful, learn how to pray for our "enemies", stretch our virtues of patience, learn the art of saying "no", letting go and complete surrender.
ReplyDeletePatience, definitely. Also, dealing with difficult people helps me to learn how to love more, because it's easy to love the easy-to-love people, but the difficult people requires extra effort to do so. :)
ReplyDeletei believe that God sends difficult people in our lives to give us the special gift of patience, understanding, unconditional love and faith.
ReplyDeletewhen my bf broke up with me last feb, i was totally devastated.he was my world and we built our dreams together by coming here in singapore. but then he changed his mind without any signal thats somethings wrong and somethings bothering him about our relationship. i felt helpless, worthless and useless. i was not myself for a month and was struggling between work and adjustments. he left me without even caring where ill stay and what ill do. but i never gave up. i turned to God because i still believe He is with me and will never abandon me. it was during that point in my life that everything changed. my heart changed. God grant me the grace to endure every pain and to continue loving inspite of what he did. i have never been patient, understanding, loving, hopeful and faithful in my whole life. he was the most difficult person that came to my life but yet i still love up until now. though i wont be able to show it to him anymore but i believe in my heart that God is also healing him and God will grant my hearts desires in His own perfect time.
however difficult that person maybe. we should always continue to pray for them because they too are hurting and they need healing. we are lucky because we have faith in God. we should ask God to use us to be instruments of their healing :D God Bless us all!
Yeah....I do have one co- employee here that seldom do open himself to others...not so special child. Before he was close to me, I always praise him with his works bcause he is very good in his profession. There are times that I am the only person who understands his thoughts and personality, but it came to a point that even I got fed up because of his way of delivering hurting words. In short, we are not in good terms as of this moment. I tried to open up, humble myself to create another bridge of communication. We had a team up in a conference in Singapore, I tried again to initiate a conversation but nothing happened, he always wanted to be a loner. Although as a believer and a follower of Christ, I must not surrender....but I need guidance from this, God is Good, Always! He will make a way , the best one!
ReplyDeleteHi Bro Bo,
ReplyDeleteI've experience numerous difficult persons and situations in my life, especially when it comes to family and work. You know what, it's also a learning experience for me because encountering these difficult beings also opened my eyes to my own weaknesses and strengths. I guess when you personally encounter the Lord, His Love manifests also on you so that it is easier to love the unlovable persons around kasi di na love na nag gagaling sa iyo ang kaya mong maibigay sa kanila pero ang Love, Mercy and Forgiveness na nanggagaling din kay Lord na ibinibigay din niya sa akin and kaya ko ng maibigay sa kanila.
I have a boss; lets name him Papi..
ReplyDeleteAll i can say he's hell bad, all he thinks is himself, he's such a coward and does not know how to manage his people, all he does is this when he's cornered:
Sino bang boss mo?
When he feels his being taken personally and felt disrespected when his staff blows their steam behind his back, he says:
I don't even get an apology?
When he signs or approves over something and then the upper group of managers disregard it he says:
i told you should have done this?
He is such a boss who wants everything done for him, he often says I have alot of things to do... when the truth is we often see him browsing the internent and the big YAHOO is on screen...
he loves to keep on commenting on our works, destructive criticism is his method...
I showed him friendship but its obvious he pays us back with sh*t...
I've had a share of meeting difficult people in life too... a lot of them, for that matter... But each difficult person taught me something and helped me NOT to be a difficult person for others too... I learned to be patient, more understanding, be calm in difficult situations, and be more loving even to the unlovalbes... I learned a lot from those "difficult people" I've met... They may be not that "difficult" after all... These people may just bring complexities in our lives, but they are God's gifts to us so we can learn from them, and stop being "difficult people" as well...
ReplyDeletei could say that the difficult person in my life was a man whom i love so much... its been 7 years since i started loving him. I am in a relationship with other guy right now, but then my boyfriend went abroad starting to build our future. After three months of leaving me, the man this man that i consider the difficult person in my life, started to txt me again and kept on asking me for a date.. I can't refuse to his offer cause i know in myself that i want to go with him. He is the most difficult person in my life, because he is giving me the care that i want, he has been too sweet to me, acting like my boyfriend, but then, he doesn't want to settle things on both of us.. He doesn't want a relationship and i don't know if he truly loves me or if he is just flirting with me.. It's so hard in my part cause i know that i have been so unfaithful with my boyfriend. I just prayed that this difficult guy in my life leave me and if he really loves me, then who should have commit his self to me... i just pray that everything would be fine.. and i just pray that may the difficult person in my life may realize how much he hurts me...
ReplyDeletei have an officemate who keeps on asking me about my salary and i find it difficult dealing with her because for me, that matter is a confidential thing. Also, she's the type of person who pinpoints my negative traits and sometimes I lose my patience towards her. The last thing I need is a friend who only sees the bad things in me. I remember my mom telling me, if you do not have anything nice to say it's better to keep your mouth shut.
ReplyDeletei hope God touches her soul, sometimes she rilly pisses me off.
i had this only brother who had been such a difficult person to deal with...hed been to drugs, stealing other peoples properties (us, included), been with bad companies, involved with a fight, impregnated someone..ugh..he had given us such a hell of a life.. hed been into a lot of bad things and perhaps things we dont know of..
ReplyDeletei alwez ask for God's guidance and prayer to help him change his ways..hopefully,in due time he will come to see and realize what a mess he is..what a nuisance he is..God,i pray that he will come to his right senses and do a huge and radical change of his lifestyle..please help me pray foy my brother...we are 5 in the family and hes the only boy among the siblings.
i have one...i dont know him personally.were just know each other because of multiply.he is an agnostic..so we always have an argument with religion and God...but since ive met him..i also started praying for him..slowly, building a relationship with him and asking God's guidance...
ReplyDeletedifficult people makes me become patient and draw me more closer to God. whenever i encountered difficult people i always pray that God will give me patience and understanding and shower me His grace and mercy whenever i give in to temptation to fight back. and i also pray for them that God will have mercy on them give them enlightenment. but sometimes they really sinked in to my nerves that i just want to disappear and wish that i never met them or i'm not part of them. (what makes me angry is when our minds don't meet and plans keep on changing... it really makes me sad.)
ReplyDeleteOnce, I was had a very difficult person that I worked with. But it turned out to be my "life instructor", at that depressing moment when I worked with him I learned important basic facts in life;
ReplyDelete1. Little knowledge could be dangerous
2. You must have a grass root of knowledge and faith
3. Stand-up and don't give up
4. Talk to people especially those working down your line you will learn so many things from them
5. Be honest
I applied everything good that I learned from him and I became successful with my carreer. I thanked God for allowing me to worked with him and I believe that in every circumtances He has purpose...be positive and keep an open mind.
For the difficult persons in my life, God has given me the gift of "LOVING UNCONDITIONALLY". Regardless of the pain and hurts they have caused me, loving them still would mean accumulating great reward points in heaven. Perhaps, after a long time, those points would be enough to exchange for one big suite in heaven.
ReplyDeleteI do have a difficult person in my lift. Lets name her Cecile. She is my office mate and uses sex and intimidation and tantrums to get her way around the office. Most people working with her find her difficult to work with because she is very unapproachable and would usually not be willing to help if the work would be inconvenient for her. The problem is she is the key person for a sub group of our company. She has only one purpose in our company now, to serve as a very bad example.
ReplyDeleteGod allows difficult people to come into our lives to teach us to be more loving, caring and understanding. They will help us practice to be patient and they can push us to the limit that then will help us realize our great capacity to love and accept them.
ReplyDeleteI've met different difficult people. Minsan hindi ko na maintindihan why do they need to be like that. if they are happy making other people's life miserable. Are they aware na nakakasakit sila or nakaka-annoy? I also pity them at times kasi its very hard for a lot of people to understand them. Parang kulang na kulang yung love, understanding and acceptance na nararamdaman nila and it is just so sad.
God allows us to learn how to fend for ourselves when He gives us difficult people in our lives. An older friend once told me that if you have a person in your life who brings out the worst in you, you should stir clear of that person because your relationship cannot be a healthy one.
ReplyDeleteI maintain relationships with people who are not high maintenance, and also believe in equality in relationships. I simply will not tolerate a friendship with someone who likes putting me down, to make him/herself feel better.
I am renting an apartment with my fiance's ex-colleague (girl) and her sister. For one year, we are sharing rent and utilities.
ReplyDeleteLast Feb, my BF had to go abroad. Thinking about us (his roommates), he agreed that he will continue sharing with the rent this year so we dont have to worry about his share. Our rent is 12K, so we share 3K each. He will do that until we get another housemate.
The first day my fiance left, her colleague brought her cousin in the house. At first, she will stay there for 3-4 times a week. Until i noticed that in another month, she was constantly in our home, as in literally living there while my fiance is still paying his share. I was never informed that her cousin will be living there, so I asked. My housemate told me it will be just temporary. Then, come another month, the cousin was still there. She works in a call center agent so she stays in the house in the morning till around 8PM. That contributes to our bill.
Then, my housemate informed me her cousin wanted to give a share but cannot afford the 3K. So I informed my fiance and he suggested a 60-40 share between them. I told this to my housemate and then she said she will just pay 3K since it may not be fair with my fiance. Then I asked her if that is OK. From then on, I got no reply. That happened a month ago. And until now, we are not in good terms. We live in the same house but we dont talk.
I see her as a difficult person since I am not really sure if I was unfair to her. Is it wrong if her cousin pays for the rent since she is living in our apt? My fiance, i think was good enough to suggest a 60-40 (cousin's share is 60) since he practically dont live here.My housemate didnt even respect me to say beforehand that someone else will be living in our apt. It is not about the 3K. My fiance was willing to pay for that. My point is, her cousin was literally living there, should it not be fair if she pays for the share?
Another thing, they are really messy in the house. They have a room but they stay and sleep in the sala. Their mattresses are there all day all night. Used plates, utensils, glasses stand by the sink. Same with the kawali, saingan, and all. Pati wrappers of biscuits, candies, etc, kung saan saan ngkalat. They hardly clean to think they occupy the first floor. Sa totoo lang, parang room na nga lang un nirerent ko sa apt namin...tapos sila pa un may ganang magalit at mgdabog.
At first, i was really mad, as in. Gusto ko ngang patulan, gusto ko ding mgdabog. Gusto kong magkalat. eventually, I realized that is not the proper way. After all, anong fulfillment naman ung makukuha ko dun. I just prayed na sana one day, we'll be OK. I initiated na nga e, i texted her, i told her sana mgkausap kmi para wlang assumptions. I called her also pero pinapatay nya ung fone. I did my part, and i think I am OK on that. Kung ayaw nya, ano pa bang magagawa ko.
I honestly dont think na may fault ako. Again, it is not about the money, un lng respect and fairness among everyone ung point ko.
I just live each day. Iwasan hanggat maiiwasan ung mga housemates. Then pray na sana maging OK din.. or at least be civil.
Natutunan ko... do your part to communicate or at least makapagusap kayo ng difficult person in life. Pero after doing your part and she remains cold, be a prayer warrior n lng. God's help is needed na talaga :)
Pardon if it is too long. Tagal ko na kseng tinatago to, thanks for this, i have a venue to blurt it out.
it's so true!
ReplyDeleteHe brings "difficult" people into our lives for a PURPOSE. :-)
i'm a med student and in my school, we are arranged alphabetically. in my particular grp, i have a lot of "difficult" people for different reasons.
some of them are stubborn, some do as minimal a work as they can (which leaves patients poorly under-managed), some don't show up for duties & so you end up shouldering their work, some can't do anything on their own & ask you for everything (to the point of dropping their responsibility on your lap)!
and i am STUCK with them till the end of internship (around two years from now).
my other classmates (when assigned to work with them) complain about their laziness & marvel at how I manage.
but little do they know, that it WAS a struggle for me (until now) NOT to lose my patience & to see beyond my group's bad habits into their reasons behind their lack of motivation.
i "handle" each member of my group as "Christian-like" as I can - adhering to my own principles & setting the limits but being as understanding & patient & humble as gritted teeth & hastily-whispered prayers would allow. (All this done most times in anger & frustration)
And although for most part of this year, I kept complaining to my friends why God allowed such people (and the worst kinds of people) to be in my group, I wasn't complaining at the end of the year (oddly enough).
I'm actually looking forward to working with them next year. I know they haven't turned around completely but they've seen me work with them, seen how much I care about them - not just because my grades also depend on their performance - but because I care about our work & about our patients.
Once in a while, I even take time to talk to them, friend to friend.
I think I couldn't have done this without constant prayers for Grace and Wisdom and Discernment. :-)
As I read in one prayer before, "Keep praying about difficult people in your life. They may not change, but YOU will.."
:-) God bless, Bro Bo and to other readers!
From the time I've discovered how corrupt, demanding & domineering my boss is, I've decided that I want a new job. I can say I'm a good follower, but if I know that my leader is heading the wrong direction, I am no longer motivated. I have to admit I became stubborn and hot-headed with my co-employees for the reason that I'm angry with what my boss is doing. Even if I love my work, it's hard for me to wake up every morning knowing that I will face that person. I've always asked God to help me love the unlovables. Everytime I pray that, only one person is in my head, that is, who else, but him. I've applied for several companies before just to escape from his control but sad to say, all had been negative applications. But in time, I've learned not to be affected by that difficult person. I just let God do His ways in him. I cannot change him, but I can change myself. Now, I only have a week here and I'll be transferring in a new work. =) It feels good that I'm leaving this company not to run away from him. I believe God used my boss so I can be a better person.
ReplyDeleteDear Bro Bo:
ReplyDeleteChrist's Peace!
As what they say, " you can't please everybody" no matter how you humble you are. We can't forced them to like us or even ourselves to them...but God is so great! For He is always there to make everything possible. I believe that no matter how hypocrite a person is, still he has that positive traits, maybe we just need to give him chance in some situation. I have experience so many times different dificult people in my life, but still I never considered them as a totally bad person, instead I lift up them to God to touch thier hearts and clear thier minds that in His due time these people will realize that they're not in right track of life what God wants us to go. I just keep on praying that God will give me more patience and more strengths to understand these kind people instead of fighting them back or running from them, I can bring them closer to God....that's my goal every day of my life.
More power and God bless you!
Vic-Vic
i had an officemate, who said that she's a die hard catholic before, went to mass everyday, goes to worship..but when she was invited to some sort of a gathering..everyhing changed... all her beliefs changed! the worst thing she said is that we're "brainwashed by the Catholic church", we're fundamentalists! (i don't even know what this means). every teachings & doctrines are not true! we had long debates everytime religion was brought up, but i ended up talking to a box that had been buried and cemented under a road for a million years! one of the debates we had was..the "tongues of fire by the Holy Spirit", she was quote & quote... "these sort of language is a demonic language that was used by babylonians in the early days.." Catholics just used it because they wanted to feel special & superior to other religions.."
ReplyDeletehow will you deal with a person like that??? now you tell me Bo.
thanks for the reply & God Bless.
Sadly, the difficult person in my life is my ex husband. He was physically & verbally abusive. He called me names and made me look bad among his relatives and friends. Now that I filed for annulment, he is insisting on visitation rights on our child whom he failed to see for over a year and has not given any kind of support when he has the means to do so. I exhausted all efforts of saving our marriage and keeping the family intact, but he didn't want to cooperate that's why I ended up filing for legal action. I think this should be the last recourse for handling a difficult person. I do pray for him that someday he will realize his obligations as a husband and father.
ReplyDeleteFor me, the difficult person in my life is my mom. And not surprisingly, if you asked her who her difficult person is- it'll probably be me.
ReplyDeleteI often wondered why God gave me to her when our personalities are radically different. When I was younger, I often get depressed because I do not understand why she couldn't understand me. (Now, I'm wiser.) I find it hard to feel anything for her- even now.
And I'm guessing that it must be the result of how I was treated when I was younger. If I could not reach her expectations; I got a verbal lashing. Not only that, I was molested as well. (I look like my father; who died when I was 3.)
I always prayed that I'd get over these experiences one day. That maybe one day, I won't cringe when she innocently touches me. Or find it in my heart to forgive, forget, and simply love.
Now that she's getting older, she expects me to support her financially and emotionally in her old age. To be honest, AYOKO. I feel trapped. My inner initial reaction was, "You abused me and you expect me to take care of you?" She'd quote bible passages to me on children's responsibilities to aging parents... It's driving me CRAZY.
And she'll complain about me to her friends in her church group. What can I do? Outside of our house, she's considered a saint. I couldn't complain to anyone; because everyone I know- knew her. *sigh*
I am still desperately praying. I hope others would pray for me too.
wow, it really made me smile when i read this.... for so long now, i am so disappointed with my subordinate. coz instead of saying she cannot do her job, she simply says the 1,000 reasons why she didnt submit things on the deadline i told her... hay naku, patawarin ako ng Diyos.. pero talagang she really pissed me... i really dont like to see her nor give her assignments, talagang im already thinking na di na naman nya magawa ang ipapagawa ko sa kanya. And she is not focusing sa trabaho nya.. basta she there lng...... yun lng... basta present xa....
ReplyDeleteanyway, bo thank you kasi in a way na voice ko na yung gusto ko.
God bless you.
sometimes i consider my in laws the difficult persons GOD sent me ... hehehe ... imagine a mother inlaw telling you might be pregnant knowing her son is out of the country????
ReplyDeletehow about a sister in law who had told you everything you own should me thiers e am working naman ????
another sister in law asking evrything about my parents, my brothers, my sisters ,,,, ayyy naku .... bro bo ... if only i could turn back time i never got married na lang ....
may GOD bless and guide me always ...
one of the difficult persons in my life was a classmate during freshman year in college.
ReplyDeletewe heard feedbacks from our other blockmates that he usually just slacks of during group work and the usual freeloader stuff lazy people do.
but because he's ok, we sometimes hang out with him. for two terms (i study in a trimestral system university), we didn't get the chance to be groupmates but come third term, his true colors were seen.
it may partially be my fault that i elected him as the leader of our group for i believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt.
so there, he was our leader. he didn't slack off, on a positive note. but he didn't do his work either. he passed it on to us and bombarded us with text messages telling us to buy this and that, yada yada yada..
thank God it's all over.
i learned from that experience to always keep my cool but nevertheless make a stand or even argue when the situation calls for it.
When I joined YFC in college, I was asked what gift from the Holy Spirit I wanted to receive. I thought about picking the gift of tongues (speaking in, not additional ones). Not only is it showy and impressive, it might come in handy for my french and spanish classes.
ReplyDeleteIn the end I asked for wisdom. I made a horrible choice. Every time Im angry with someone, my mind explores reasons (excuses even) for their behavior. They had a crappy day, they were also subjected to the same abuse, or they just don't know better. It takes away the edge off the anger. And I'm also reminded how my thoughtless actions may have triggered their reactions/behavior. It is a totally humbling gift... realizing that you are human. As these "mini monsters" are, no matter how aggravating they appear to be.
You can't always do something to change someone. In the end you can only change yourself. So you either accept them or you can distance yourself from them.
Hi again!
ReplyDeleteWow Bo, these comments does not only make me smile & laugh, but I sympathize as well. It only shows that each one of us really have atleast one difficult person in our lives.
I can't wait for your next email.
God speed!
This article reminded me of a classmate i had back in my first year of college.
ReplyDeleteAt first, when you meet him, i can say that he's practically a good okay person. However, as time goes by, me and my other classmates realized that he was somewhat of a free rider - nobody wants him included in group works because he never tries to contribute anything. The worst part of it is, he passes most of his subjects because groupworks pull his entire grade.
Of course, being his classmate, for us it's totally unfair for him to do this. but we can't do anything about it especially when the final grades are already issued. So it went on for about a semester or two. It was not later on that we realized that he was actually undergoing such a difficult time.
Around middle of our 3rd semester, he, out of nowhere, opened up to some of us. He told us of the difficult things he's been undergoing since highschool (even before he entered college). Unfortunately, he got his girlfriend pregnant during highschool and ever since then, he was struggling to balance everything - from his studies to his family life. He told us that when he graduated highschool, he even thought of not going to college anymore, and instead, find a job to support his family. Good thing his father convinced him that he's making a big mistake for thinking that way and that he should graduate college first. That's why he ended up in going to college. He told us that his father is the one taking care of his tuition fee, while his siblings supports his family's expenses.
Actually, looking at his status, he's really blessed right? He's still very lucky for having the chance of getting a better life. Who knows what would've happen if he hadn't taken his father's advice. It would've been even worse! Unfortunately, we just don't know if he sees all this blessings he's got. I mean, his ways even got worst during the whole semester. He came from just being late to classes to not going to classes anymore; From not just contributing anything during groupworks to telling other people that his group doesn't want him to help anyway; From doing assignments to not doing anything; and lastly, for expecting other people to cover for him especially when a professor asks the class about him.
Being his classmate, we would have this talk with him sometimes that he should do better because if he continues doing such acts, nothing will happen with his life. Then we would go and tell him: "Think about your kids. If you're going to mess up your life, make sure they aren't included! They don't have anything to do with this and yet they are close to experiencing suffering. And maybe you should think about your wife as well. There's still time you know, you could do better." I know it's not that good that we meddle with his affairs like this but we can't also just stand there and continue being witnesses to the mistakes he's unaware of commiting. We know he could do better with his life. And it's hard seeing people we know that makes his life more difficult every minute.
Yeah, i do sometimes ask God to wake him up; shake him a little bit so that he'll be able to do better.
Yes, I believe God allows difficult people to come into my life to give me very special gifts...
ReplyDeleteUnderstanding. I realize that often, the problem is not interpersonal relationships (difficult people vs. me) but INTRApersonal ones (difficult people vs. their own selves, their baggages, unresolved issues, etc.). Those difficult people have emotional concerns deep in themselves, which I need to unearth and understand more.
Tactfulness. I don't know why but difficult people seem to have a tendency to misconstrue my words. When misunderstandings happen, all the more i realize that the opportunity to speak does not guarantee me the privilege of being understood. The Spirit teaches me to bridle my tongue and to be more careful with my speech.
Growth and Maturity. Difficult people seem to be experts in the field of upsetting happy people. Their comments definitely bite, but they make me look at myself and say, "Oh, now i see. There is some truth in what Mr. Difficult is saying." Honestly, that provides me an opportunity to improve on the areas I need to grow in. True, feedback is painful. So is truth. But I believe we Christians can never come to full bloom without them.
one more special gift i think and the most of all is LOVE.
ReplyDeletewe couldn't understand difficult people without the Love of Jesus in our hearts.
i too had been difficult to others especially my family in one way or another but unconditional love moved me to change and their prayers to God changed me and still changing me to be a better person.
without their love for me maybe i still remain a depressed person and so difficult to understand but they loved and accepted me for this and it healed me. that is what i'm trying to do whenever i met someone so difficult to deal with i just pass it forward the grace and love i received from God which is LOVE that makes this world go round and peaceful.
May we all be filled with God's love. Thanks! :-)
lumaki akong abused na bata.. dahil unting pagkakamali ko lang binubugbog ako ng kapatid kong lalaki.. kung meron nga lang bantay bata nung panahon na yun.. baka napabantay bata ko na sya.. sobrang laki ng naging trauma sa akin.. noong bata ako natatakot na akong umuwi sa bahay namin dahil alam kong magugulpi na naman ako.. yun ang dahilan din siguro ng maaga kong pagaasawa.. upang malayo sa kanya.. pero ngayun medyo ok na kami.. indi ko na lang sya pinupuntahan sa bahay nya uipang maiwasan din ang problema... indi ko pa idn talaga alam sa sarili ko kung talagang napatawa ko na sya.. pero gustong gusto ko na din syang mapatawad sa lahat lahat ng ginawa nya sa akin.. ayaw ko ding may dalahin sa dibdib ko.. medyo mabigat din kasi sa pakiramdam... sana nga marinig ni Lord ang mga panalangin natin na ang mga taong ito ay magbago na...
ReplyDeleteDear Bro. Bo,
ReplyDeleteI also encounter "difficult People" in my life . Most of the time I fail because I get angry or agitated. So I asked for the Help from God to make me more patient and understanding. I come to realized that this can make you too a better person, because you are put to into test.
God never does anything that is bad for us. I think this will make us more understanding and forgiving later.
More power to you. I am thanking God for people like you and Father Zaki of Dubai who help us always.
May god be Praised!
marivic
just read this article and it brought to my mind this member of mine that quite a struggle for sometime already.
ReplyDeletei have this member in the community that at times i can't figure out how to deal with her. she really has this "pasaway" attitude that pushes me to my limit of patience. i don't know if she's in the community because of the activities and the happenings, as in she's present and super active for those kind of things. but if its already for service, you can't count on her... she's suddenly out of the picture.
i've prayed to God to give me the answer on how i can handle her. i can't simply ignore her coz she's my responsibility to God. i realized too that this is the challenge for me as a leader, on how i can be more effective and strong.
suddenly i started praying for her and for the other members as well that have been "lie-low" in the community which i haven't done before. i know nothing is impossible with God and i hope on our meeting this friday, she'll be able to come.
Hi Bro bo,
ReplyDeleteYes i havedifficult person in my life.They happened to be my Uncle(like devil in progress) and a cousin nobody wanted naparang a creature only a mother could love.This uncle of mine is sooh selfish,likes gossips,liar,corrupt,likes elevatimg himselfto the status of a hero pero and galingnyang mang api ng kapwa nya na parang wala ng pakiramdam ang tao nasa2ktan nya no matter what.He wanted us to leave the house His brother owns (btw, he's a cousin of my mom) kasi his brotherpassed away na pero ayaw nya ibugay ung pagmanage ngbahay sa sisterin law nya bcoz.He wanted the house for himself.And ever since naman wala syang naging part sa bahay na yon.It's a goodthing we left the house na .We suffered so much from that house kahit dun na kami lumaki.Life is too short and its no use dealing with difficult people syang oras.kunggusto nyanyang ganon ang buhay nya so be it.Mahirap kausap kahat ng tao umiiwas na sa kanya.I never(10000) really thought na may nilalang na katulad nya.And when I pray for this person my stomach getsupset all the time that makes me stop trying.So Bro Bo pinaubaya ko nalang sa Diyos Sya That's between him and His God.And My cousin just the same a pain in the neck.no matter how i prayed for her and showed her kindness, just the same she's a pathological liar.Even if she hurts me,she's still hurting herself more.Ganun din nakakapagod silang ipagdasa kaya iniwasan ko nlng magcross ang path namin.I mean i'm not alone with what i feel for this person.Maybe in God's own time they'll change.Umiwas nalang ako kesa magkasakit ako sa puso sa ka3usap sa sa kanila diba? well what do you say to it
marilou
Good pm to you BO,
ReplyDeleteI consider one of our member really different or difficult, Her pride is more higher than her, considering her height is just like me 4'11. We are together in one community here in Saudi for almost 16- 17 years, but until now we don't know how to deal with her, gusto nya i praise siya, siya unang sasabihan, pag hindi, na gagalit siya,, pag ayaw nyang umattend ng gawain ok lang pero pag iba ang hindi naka attend kung ano anong masakit na salita ang sinasabi nya.. lately di na siya na sama sa amin, one time nga nag invite ang leader namin, bakit di raw sinabi sa kanya agad, nag tampo na naman. Pag nainis siya di siya na attend,, nakakahiya na ke LORD until now ganun parin ugali nya.. hindi na nag bago.... Tumatahimik na lang kami at patuloy na lang namin siyang pinag pray na sana ilagay niya sa isip niya na ang pag silbi ke LORD ay hindi para sa sarili kundi para sa mga taong naka paligid at ang papuri ay sa DIYOS at di sa tao. We considered her our torn, for the group to learn how to love her more.
Please include our group and also my kids to your prayers
I have problem with my sons they don't know how to budget money.... they still asked for my support even though they are family men,,, I think GOD is giving me trials so that understanding and LOVE will continue to grow within me,,, GOD BLESS
I met a difficult person in the workplace. I don't normally assign negative attributes to a person but this person has always undermined my work and actions in the workplace. To make sure I wasn't just imagining things or being overly sensitive, I started asking my trusted colleagues and who knew her better if they noticed her actions (or reactions) towards me and I received a resounding "yes" she was quite hard on you. They also don't understand where she was coming from.
ReplyDeleteI thought her reactions are unreasonable and illogical. I was so frustrated and got depressed that even when I was 7 months pregnant, I was crying myself to sleep thinking of all her actions towards me or my work.
I really hated her at that time...but at the same time, I was also hoping that I was wrong. That is why I kept on trying to bridge my relationship with her. Unfortunately, there was not relationship to build. She was fixed at the thought that she will not accept me and like me. And now, I have nothing but pity for her and hope that she will gain her peace of mind. Because I think, whatever negative things she was trying to throw at me was an indication of a personal struggle inside.
I am still hoping we will patch things up. I always pray that the Lord will give me the strength to accept her (or any other difficult person) and also to accept myself because maybe, I am also difficult to other people.
Difficult people give us gifts of patience, endurance, and perseverance. With the presence of difficult people, we learn to be more patient, enduring, and persevering. We develop the patience of the saint with the grace of the Holy Spirit; we learn to endure when the most natural thing to do is to seek revenge; and we develop perseverance in our faith.
ReplyDeleteI have experienced and still do the worst with this very dificult person. I just don't know why he hates me like hell. This is what I feel ever since I joined the organization. It seems I'm not capable of doing anything good in his book, which I definitely refuse to believe. Many times I have thought of just getting out of our group and transfer to another or just leave the company and be spared from him and his all-too difficult personality. In the morning when I wake up, I really feel bad that I am going again in an office I dread not to set foot. It has been an ordeal really. How I wish I can get out in one snap of a finger. In the past during bad times with him, I usually try to get an inspirational book to assuage my feelings. It helped but now I guess I'm not capable of feeling all the right emotions. I can only hope and pray that I will be able to bear all this some more and finally realize that there's light at the end of the tunnel.
ReplyDeleteGrabe! Ang tagal kong nakarating dito sa bottom... Sadya
ReplyDeleteyatang walang tao na walang difficult person sa buhay nila...
Nakakalungkot ang sa akin kasi kasama ko sa bahay halos
24 hrs. a day. Ang negosyo kasi namin ay sa bahay lang ang
mga transactions. Katabi ko pa sa pagtulog! Siya na yata
ang pinaka difficult na tao sa mundo, and mind you, 20 yrs
pa lang naman kaming nagsasama... Alam nyo na siguro
kung sino ang tinutukoy ko? He's no other than my
husband!
Alam nyo, kung sasabihin ko pa kung gaano siya ka-
difficult mauubos ko ang space ni brod Bo para sa iba. And
mind you, hindi lang siya difficult person sa buhay ko,pati sa
nanay at kapatid niya! At kung tatanungin niyo pa ang mga
anak ko , tiyak iisa ang sagot nila, papa is the most difficult
person in their lives. Imagine the role i'm undertaking...
Pero, ba't ako nakatiis ng 20 yrs.? Siguro nga... mahal ko
siya! Sa nanay ko pa, katangahan na!
Kapag naman may kaaway siya,unang-una akong in his
defense kaagad. Naawa nga ako kapag inaaway siya eh.
Madalas tuloy, naitatanong ko sa Kanya, ba't hindi Niya pa
baguhin kaagad ang asawa ko? Ba't hinihintay pa Niya na
maraming magalit sa kanya? Lalo lang tuloy siyang
napapasama...
Ang iniisip ko nalang at this point in my life,siguro ito ang
misyon ko sa mundong ibabaw,to tame the most difficult
creature God has made. May magandang kapalit siguro ito
sa Itaas. Pagbubutihan ko nalang siguro ang misyon na
ito. Malay niyo maging santa pa ako!
my 2-cents sharing ~ ~ ~
ReplyDeleteDifficult people are given us and allowed to cross our path, short-timed or long term. The reason, I truly believe, is for us to taste, to experience, and ultimately to enjoy God's grace. And the grace is -- feeling, being really and truly a child of God.
We've been more of self-centered rather than other-focused, for one reason or another. We also have different definition of happiness, success, even being "followers" of the Christ.
However, if we truly want to be "followers" of Jesus, then we need to make that DECISION - to really follow and imitate; afterwards, active follow through. Here we need to:
: look for and see Jesus in the other person (beyond all the surface "dirt" and "unlovableness")
: help that person bring out from within him the "Jesus spirit" in him.
I believe that once we make that resolve, and honest about it; and pure in our intentions, and pray from the heart for it - - - then, I believe God would give us:
: many opportunities - to the degree conforming to our uniqueness - to enable us to practice and live out that decision of ours (here is when we encounter more and more difficult persons)
: discernment and knowledge - when and how to act, speak, think, etc. ; knowing that the other person's weakness "happens to be" tailor-fit to my God-given talents and skills
: a share, to a very small degree, of God's compassion, emphaty, etc. by understanding that the other person is - just like me - a child of God.
And of course, in this journey of becoming, we acquire Godly characteristics - learn how to listen and not just hear, how to see beyond the surface, learn that giving respect has nothing to do with whether the other person deserve it or not, patience, perseverance, true acceptance of the other for who he is at that time.
God bless us all.
while reading the comments, I realized that those difficult persons I have in my life are also present with others:
ReplyDeletea very "bossy" boss who wouldn't listen to my inputs and totally edits my report to suit his ideas
a jobless brother, a separated sister, impregnated sister who all depend on me financially
a staff who refuses to obey my rules
my mother who sometimes I think love more my siblings than me
my father who is a womanizer
a costumer infront of me in a long queue in the supermarket who I think is a relative of kuya cesar bcause he is too slow
and so on and so forth
but then while reading the comments, parang tinatamaan ako
bat parang ako yata iyong difficult person
difficult staff to my boss because I thought I was so smart and my boss so dumb I dont want to give in to his criticisms
a selfish sister who got a better education and work and refuses to help my siblings
or I maybe the selfish daughter who wants all the affection to be mine
or I maybe the dictator boss who doesn't give my subordinates the room to grow
I had my share of difficult persons but somehow I realized I'm also tv difficult one.
and I can't wait for bro. Bo's next article to find out what can I do about it.
hmm.kanina lang napatambling ako sa isang tao na pag nagsalita o gumalaw,mapapaspell D-i-f-f-i-c-u-l-t ka talaga.naisip ko nga po tatay bo yung mga natutunan ko sa inyo,'don't complain.' 'enjoy life.' hay. andaling sabihin pero pag may mga difficult people na sa buhay ko, parang nagiging question mark ang lahat.habang binabasa ko nga yung mga ibang comments,di ko mapigilang isaisahin ang mga hanep na mga taong yun.narealized ko, in one way or another, those people pushed me to get closer to the Lord. i remember those moments that i was deeply hurt by my pamangkin, i said to the Lord, "hanep Ka Lord, kung ganito na yung sakit na nararamdaman ko, paano pa yung pinagdaanan Mo para samen?" thoughts like that made me fall in love more with the Lord not to mention my prayer life that is being strengthen during those difficult moments with difficult people. and another thing, does God really allows difficult people to come into our lives or is it the other way around? kapag kasi nagiging difficult people na ko para sa ibang tao, nagpapadala si Lord ng mga tao para marealized ko ang pagkakamali at worth ko. and little by little, i'll be less difficult until the time comes that i will be a blessing-a lil' bit difficult person already.
ReplyDeleteI am past 50 yrs old and come to think of it, in every stage of my life - as student, single person working, married life, a mother, semi-retired employee etc... I met many difficult persons which molded my personality to what I am now. I have become prayerful and sensitive to the feelings of others. I found friends who tell me I am a good listener and a shoulder to cry on. But these are just part of the blessings in disguise which I come to realize only recently. I have been physically abused (bullied) when I was a student, ridiculed beccause I am not pretty, cheated by my boyfriend/eventually husband, swindled by close relatives and friends. My only constant companion is my diary where I write my hurts and prayers. I am a survivor, praise God. There are still difficult persons around me but now I am bolder and more confident - I've learned to say no, to assert my rights and express my feelings - even righteous anger and disgust.. Thanks Bro Bo for nourishing our souls everyday!
ReplyDeletei am now currently dealing with VERY difficult person... the fact that i am an impatient creature my self and that i personally have to deal with my own idiosyncrasies, i once asked God why sent such a crap...? then i realized that maybe God was just trying to strengthen my weak patience...haha albeit many time sGod failed doing so for i still tend to make a patol...
ReplyDeletethis difficult person makes my life a little miserable yet at the same time taught me how to be a patient ate for she is younger than my age... :)
Well, what the horrible people does to me is they help me appreciate the few nice people I come across with. It's like it's so typical to assume that people just won't care and will think only of theirselves. Then you meet a person who will care for you just unconditionally. If everybody is nice, it would be difficult to notice the smiles, the nice gestures, a stranger's kindness, friends who were once strangers, etc.
ReplyDeleteThrough those horrible people we are honed and purified. Sometimes, when I come across those people I do ask myself, "Why me!" Why can't those horrible people leave me alone. I suppose those people are being used as part of our purification. If everybody in this world is nice, how can we be tested? Because of them, we pray to God, we asked for his help.
It can also be that we encounter those people because God is sending us to be a blessing to them.
I would write my horrible experience about the horrible people I met but well, who would want to hear me moan :P
Take Care.
difficult person??? so many....but recently, i encountered this personality through my employer here in canada....yes, she is difficult, but within that more than two months of living with them, i haven't experienced that kind of difficulty, with her family, yes, i heard and seen them arguing, yelling, and until one time, her son told me that I will be next. And that's the hardest part, when I encountered the turmoil, I never felt so humiliated in my entire life. I never felt so upset and miserable during the times that I have been with them. Good thing, the LOJ Chapter Head Couples here in Calgary adopted me for almost two weeks. And just yesterday, my employer called up to ask me what's my decision but I bounced back her question, I asked her what's her decision. She finally told me that she knows I'm not happy anymore and will still get me for a while until I found another job but I have to inform her when, so she can prepare for my loss.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, she is a Christian, I don't know what kind, but as I was idle for more than I week, our separation made me realize so many things. That I have to bear with her type of personality, that no one has undergone a situation in life that is not difficult. That her yelling should be written on the sand compared to the good things she did for me which I cherish during the times that we are still good.
And as I grow as a Catholic Christian, I must continue learning and have the wisdom and virtues to face reality, how to deal with such types and how to tame my tongue and practice so much patience. Thanks be to God for all the courage and strength to face the world as it is and for all the teachings of Bro Bo to continuously nourish our souls. Glory to God in the highest. Everything works for good for those who love Him.
hi bro. bo! oh so many difficult people in my life, even close family and friends.
ReplyDeleteanyway, i think that the best gift that i am able to receive the Lord is that i am able to let go of whatever ill feelings i have over this person through much prayers. and sometimes, it would be hard because it keeps of coming back over and over again. yet, truly the love of God is made perfect in us (1 John 4) and i realize that i do not have to do anything in this person. it is only God who can change them and i finally made a choice to dwell in God's love for me rather than eating myself up in anger and bitterness and all those nasty feelings.
yes, truly loving our neighbor is hard. yet, His love for us is greater that's why we need to pray so that we can let go and let God.
GOD bless... i was so inspired by your talk last night here in So Cal.
thank you!
To answer Bo's question… the gifts that we can receive in dealing with difficult person are patience, understanding, and love.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading all the sharings, I can say that the very root cause of why there is a difficult person in this world is because of "lack of love". And to deal with them is to give them love.
How do we handle them in a practical way?
1st step - Let them know in a humble way that they are difficult to be with. How? It really depends on the person. But It doesn't matter the approach as long as one should do it in a humble way.
2nd step - Inscribe in your mind and heart that they need help. Period. And when God's open a way, do whatever you can to help them.
3rd step - Pray. Need not to explain.
Now, do this steps to yourself first and then to the person that you have difficulty dealing with.
God bless us all!
I would say the most difficult person in my life is my mom. She's a tough woman, who came from a poor family and had a bitter past. It's not easy to please her and she is always worried about tomorrow especially in financial matters. I always try to tell her that money is not the source of happiness but still she always talks about it. She always complains, not contented and doesn't want to share her blessing to others except to those whom she likes. I guess the reason why she is like this is because she's afraid to be empty handed once again. I am still grateful that she is my mom because without her we would ended up nowhere. She also has good side but sometimes it is hidden underneath her soul that you really need to dig in. She is not a typical mom who is gentle and caring but she has her own way to support and nurture us. Our grandparents basically raised us up, both our parents are working then, so they provided us the care and affection that my mom can't express. On the other hand my dad is a gentle person but doesn't speak a lot. Most of the time my mom nagged him.
ReplyDeleteBefore, I really hate seeing my mom being difficult that I fight with her most of the time. But later on I realized I'm becoming a difficult person also for my mom. I shifted my paradigm, looked at her positive attributes and tried to understand the root cause of everything. THen, something change, she mellow down a bit and we are not fighting that often. If things got worst I just tell myself that I cannot change others but I can change and control myself. After that shift, my mom is a little bit shaken and I am not stressed at all. Though sometimes she is still being the difficult person that I know, I just pray and believe that she will change one day. But no matter how difficult she is I still love her with all my heart.
Hi Bro Bo!
ReplyDeleteWell, i have had so many difficult persons in my life but this one really stand out from the rest. She is my boss and everyday I pray that God will give me strength to face her and not only that I always said to HIM "Lord what will your suprise be for me today". Its like everyday she calls me to her room as in I say all my prayers. She has this capacity to make people down as if you have to think twice before you speak to her, my confidence run out almost.
But, you know, I just always keep in mind that maybe she has some problems somewhere. All colleagues told me that she's like the character in the movie "The Devil wears Prada" something like that.
When i watched the "Evan Almighty movie" in the one of the scene their hit me when He said "When you ask God for patience does He give it to you right away, No! He gives you something or someone to practice your patience"
And I am learning something from her and at the sametime I know that deep within her something good it just she doesn't want to show it.....
And I thanked God everyday for giving me this difficult person.
Thanks Bro Bo! God Bless
difficult person?.. siguro ako na yon.. maraming beses ko na kasi sinubukan na magpatawad sa mga taong sabihin na natin na in a way nakasakit sa aking damdamin..sabi ko ..these time kakalimutan ko na ang lahat ..ung tipong " ha?.. atraso?..wala naman akong matandaan na may ginawa ka sa akin.." alam kong mahirap pero hindi ako mawawalan ng pag-asa na darating ang panahon na magiging buo na ulit ang puso at pagkatao ko dahil natuto na akong lumimot at magpatawad, At pasasalamatan ko sila dahil sa aral na aking natutunan... with GOD nothing is impossible
ReplyDelete"Hurt people hurt people"... this is just one of the things i take into consideration when trying to deal with difficult people. Sometimes, this statement cools all the boiling inside me, but at times the exasperation goes on no matter how i hastily pray for grace and humility.
ReplyDeleteI'm a also a medical student like paui, who has posted a comment yesterday and while reading her entry, it was as if i was the one she was referring to in the scenario. I'm afraid I have also had a bunch of classmates and groupmates who are "difficult", in every sense of the word.
My first year in medical school was a big toll of adjustment, not just with the course but most especially with the group i belonged to. It felt like a survival of the fittest that I wasn't really prepared for. Time and again i have run to the heavens in tears that God would touch these people to take responsibility in all our requirements. Well, I could always deal with certain difficult people, but being surmounted with a dozen?? unimaginable! It had been a really difficult year for me, thus my rejoices when I finally "survived" the whole year of our togetherness.
Come second year, I felt so redeemed because somehow, the groupings have changed. Difficult people came along the way, but by God's grace I didn't find much problem dealing with them.
On my third year, this school year, with only two sections remaining, I was totally aghast upon learning that my groupmates way back in first year would soon-to-be my future groupmates for the next two years. My first instinct was to request that my section be changed. It had been 2 days since I requested for that change, 2 days of intense prayer.
On this day, I shall face the truth. No matter what the result is, I pray that God envelope me with His grace. I'm afraid of the possibility that I'd be spending two more years with them but the thought that God has a beautiful purpose and a plan for me, makes me feel that I am safe in Him.
I just offer everything to God now... And I continue to pray for all the difficult people in my life. May I not be a difficult person in theirs.
Thank you for this article..and the chance for me to post my own share of story..It is very timely for me..
Godspeed.
I have a tita who was very mean. For her money matters. I used to study a tougher field when she told me not to stick with it if my head can handle it. She called me and my family names because her sister (my mom's sister too) had been helping us get through since i was small. I decided not to ask anything from anyone of them anymore and take charge of my life. I took a leave from school and am now working.
ReplyDeleteI also have a coworker who does not miss a day without complaining about anything - the boss, the clients, the schedule...everything.
i have read from a book written by St. Poveda that:
ReplyDeletethe cross (difficult person) in your life is your key to heaven.
Christlike love is patient with the faults of others!
Good day...
difficult people makes us more patient and understanding...
ReplyDeleteYes, I have a very difficult person in my life right now. My boss, he is making my life hell on earth. He is moody, insensitive and demanding in a very weird way. I almost want to go up to him and ask him what have I done to him to deserve this. I know he is not happy with my work but the action he is showing verges on sarcasm and insult. I am almost on the verge of resigning even with no clear new job on sight. Maybe its a sign that I should strike on my own, I used to do consulting and I used to have a small business - the consulting was ok but the small business hmm its another story. But I was thinking I should have learned something from my mistake, now its time to take a second crack at things I really would like to do. I am now asking God to Bless my plans and decision. And also to give me a forgiving and humble heart and wisdom too and good health. By the way as I was about to submit the boss just came in. To all reading these I ask of you to please pray for me and for him as well.
ReplyDeleteIt is really so difficult to live in this world...full of people that can annoy you in one way or another...But it is also wonderful to think that there is GOD who always give us inspiration and guidance to cope up with this kind of people...i do encounter a lot of difficult people in my work place...but come to think of it I am also a difficult person for some...but i would like to thank GOD for giving me a heart and mind that is capable of knowing and accepting that there are so many wayas on how I can deal with these people...
ReplyDeleteThank you LORD for giving me that heart...
It is really so difficult to live in this world...full of people that can annoy you in one way or another...But it is also wonderful to think that there is GOD who always give us inspiration and guidance to cope up with this kind of people...i do encounter a lot of difficult people in my work place...but come to think of it I am also a difficult person for some...but i would like to thank GOD for giving me a heart and mind that is capable of knowing and accepting that there are so many ways on how I can deal with these people...
ReplyDeleteThank you LORD for giving me that heart...
yes i meet them all the time...di ko alam kung gasgas or sounding like saint..sa dami na cguro ng books na nabasa ko, at mga articles ng tulad ke Bo...pumapasok lagi sa isip ko na...what if yung taong kinaiinisan ko or ng lahat eh me traits din pala akong ganon?...tapos naiisip ko na "hello, anak din ni God yan, so equal kayo"...tska minsan naiisip ko rin na " ako lang me hard feelings sa kanya so ako lang nagsa-suffer"...until magwane na ung inis..at eventually siguro maging immuned or dedma na lang..
ReplyDeletehi, i'm from canada. just wanted to share with you what i am going thru right now. i am dealing with a lot of difficult people at work since most of us are of different nationalities, with different upbringing all put in one department. dito halos araw araw stress na stress na ako sa trabaho stress pa rin sa mga tao dahil hindi ko alam kung paano sila pakikisamahan. it's affecting my health, my sanity and most of all my family. like in the early part nang article ni Bo na "pinagdadasal ko na sana tamaan na sila ng kidlat at ma-karma" i know that's bad pero nandun na ako sa peak ng aking stress na halos bumitaw na ako at mag-resign na sa trabaho pero iniisip ko pa rin na ito lang ang bumubuhay sa amin so i still need to hold on to my job because it provides not only for my family here in canada but also back home in the philippines. right now i'm still searching on how to cope with this kind of problem dahil wala akong mapagsabihan at wala rin akong mapagkatiwalaan sa opisina dahil maraming pag kaharap ka ay mabait pero pag talikod mo ay kung anu-ano na ang sinasabi tungkol sa iyo at galit pala sa iyo. at first i tried ignoring it but it didn't work so i tried to be vocal and honest but it still didn't work so now i'm at a loss as to what i should do. panay pa rin ang dasal ko na tulungan akong maging matatag sa pagsubok na ito pero hanggang kailan. suggestion nga rin ng asawa ko magpaka-showbiz na lang ako pero ang hirap gawin lalo na't gusto mong magpakatotoo pero sa pagpapakatotoo mo e lumalabas na sa akin pa nanggagaling ang problema. so it's really a very tough situation that i'm in. hindi na nga ako mapagkatulog, hindi na ako nakakain ng mahusay at pati ang health ko ay naaapektuhan na rin at ganun din ang pamilya ko. i'm hoping that with your next article i'll be able to find the answer to what i'm searching or looking for.
ReplyDeletep.s. with this comment, i'm also sharing with everyone who are thinking of working or migrating in another country of what they will be dealing with when it comes to different personalities from different countries and backgrounds. miss ko na nga sa pinas kahit na stress ka sa trabaho hindi mo nararamdaman dahil nandon ang samahan, tiwala, suporta at lalong lalo na ang pagkakaibigan.
I welcome difficult people in my life...these are challenges that will surely serve our purposes in our life journey...great article Sir Bo! I'm your avid fan!
ReplyDeleteHi Bo! I am a silent reader of your articles and books...It seems for me, I have no one to turn to except your writings...because thru them I find God, my comfort.
ReplyDeleteMy life is very sad. I'm a happy person, jolly and bubbly...that's my real personality. Until I discovered about my husband's infidelity. For me, he is the difficult person in my life because he made this life a misery...sorrowful..He has taken out all my reasons to be happy. I thought before that I have the best and most kind husband in the world even though we are not rich. But then, all of a sudden, I discovered, that I was totally wrong. I cry whenever I think of him. I wanted to get out of our marriage but my only one daughter might get hurt and affected...that I cannot afford...to hurt her feelings. I want her to live a normal life..complete family. My husband works abroad and for so many years I have been a mother and father to my daughter. But she still lives normally with that kind of situation because she knows she has her dad abroad. But then, I already lost trust to my husband. He doesn't respect me as the mother of his child nor he loves me. I don't feel that he loves me because if he does, he won't make sex with other woman. Yes, he had an affair with a girl working in the same country where he is right now...that me more miserable. I want to get out of our marriage because i don't feel his love anymore but how about my daughter???i don't know what to do..what to decide because it always involve my daughter.and i love my daughter so much...
hey hi...bo i have a diffucult person right now..he's my ex-bf...im trying to handle things with him pero it seems im giving up...i always ask the Good Lord to help me each day :)
ReplyDeleteActually there is one difficult person in my life these days. He /She makes our workplace a stressful environment to be in. Madami ang nagkakasit - emotionally and physically dahil sa mga demands niya and the negative vibes he/she sends out. Halos lahat ng tao, pwera lang sa mga sipsip ay gusto na siyang e kick out (kung pwede nga lang kaso...nasa taas na position siya)...Ewan namin kung bakit bulag at bingi ang higher management sa corruptive ways niya. Dahil din kaya despite our difficultiies with this person, we do our job excellently...no questions asked na lang kami lahat ...to keep the peace well. Haha...siya pa rin nag benefit at umaani sa fruits of the laborer's labor!!!
ReplyDeleteThe positive things I learned while around these person/s are: Natoto akong magpaseynsya ng todo-todo. Learned to correct mistakes in a gentler way..And mas naging supportive ako sa mga ka officemates ko. I learned the BIG difference between compassionate authority and authority for authority's sake...and i know someday, when its my turn to be in their place if ever i will still be around this workplace, I will NOT be like them
i think im one of the difficult people, simply because i couldnt forgive that one person who hurt me, my ex-boyfriend. last january, he left without care, on the year we are supposed to get married. he left me hanging big time.
ReplyDeletenow, i try as much to get away from him as possible because i am being reminded of what a jerk he was, and how stupid i had been for putting up with that kind of guy for so long. i felt like i have wasted ten precious years of my life, because i have invested so much in a relationship that ended in a very bad note.
i have to give up my choir because i found out that he was having relationship with this younger girl even before we broke up. the betrayal really makes me mad, and the thought of me having to leave that one group i loved and nurtured, at their expense makes me want to lash out at them. i find it really unfair, but they left me no choice because i couldn't possibly play hypocrites with them and pretend that everything is fine and dandy.
sigh. i know that God wants me to learn something from this event. at my tender moments, i always find myself crying from hurt and lost trust. am i too bad for not being able to forgive such monstrosity? please help me pray for the grace. i dont want to be difficult anymore.
I am a mother of two..the difficult person im life right now is my eldest who's age is 6...but he is very extraordinary person...or maybe he became a difficult person because I was a difficutl mother too...actually i accept... i myself was a difficult person...coz of the experiences that i had along the marriage with my husband...and he is always seeing us fighting...screaming...and he sees me crying all the time...now it really difficult for me to deal with my son...coz i want him to be a good person...sometimes i pitty him that he'll be shouted by other people and telling words like makulit...and bad...im sad...please pray for my healing and my son too..
ReplyDeleteI am probably the difficult person in other people's lives. But we have issues that made us react negatively. Sometimes, its easy to think that he/she must be suffering from unbearable prob that caused her to be difficult to deal with. Sabi nga nila you learn kindness from the unkind. I always try to stay calm and dont react negatively on things but it would take a while. I know its causing people to be aloof most of the time but its leaving us alone makes more things complicated. Feeling din namin di kami nila naiintindihan. If there is someone that we can be comfortable with talking about the issue makes it relieving. Siguro if we gently talk or approach to them mas hindi violent reactions nila, just make them feel that you always care and Im sure they are trying to change for you.
ReplyDeleteHi Bo,
ReplyDeleteThe one difficult person in my life right now is my only BROTHER, who has given me so many heartaches & problems. This brother of mine is a widower w/ 4 small kids. He's really a miss & so irresponsible, especially now after his wife's death. He doesn't seem to care for his children's future, it's maybe because he knows that us his sisters are always here to help support them. But Bo, we also have our own families to support & to provide for... Please help me pray for my brother to mend his ways & to make him realize that it's important for him to be responsible for his children... Thanks...
I have a wife that I cherised and she has done nothing but abondoned me and harras me. I tried councelling, prayer, talking time, but she just keeps stabbing me. She stole all our money and dissapeared with my children. She uses the children against me and I cannot contact her. This has gone on for quite some time where I almost had a nervous breakdown. She has destroyed one business I put together for the family and is attempting to destroy the other. I just do not get or understand. I have my faults and she does not. She is perfect. The only mistake she made in her life was marrying me. I am sick of trying and have been told by religious and many others to move on. She is a spiteful, vengeful person. I am closer to God. I feel like I have to dress for WAR everyday and be prepared for the unexpected from her. She makes me worry all the time, etc.. I am from another country and I am in her country now. The odds are stacked against me except doing the right thing on my part and relying on God for the rest. Dont know why I am writing this. But I did. so there.
ReplyDeleteHi! This is definitely something new. I believe God sends us difficult people because he wants us to become more patient and pattern the way we love into His way of loving. Remember, we are all difficult at some point, but He loves us still. He teaches us to practice sacrificial love because in learning this we give more value and meaning to our lives. I also think he sends us difficult people so that we can try and do our best to change them. Or to see if we are also committing similar kinds of sins so that we become more sensitive with our own attitudes. As Mahatma Gandhi said "Be the change you want to see in the world." He sends us difficult people to polish our values more. We learn important values not easily but through hard work and difficult people are God's instuments somehow in making this happen. :)
ReplyDeleteI also want to comment on what LOVING SISTER said. I read the whole of your text because I can relate to what you said. I have the best mom in the world but my dad just never stopped cheating on her. from my first brother down to me, youngest of us four, and even up to now when he has apos. It's really heartbreaking. But guess what? with God's grace I was still able to love him and take care of him. I don't know how I was able to do that but God provided the love in my heart. These kinds of experiences could either BREAK or MAKE us. and I choose to make it contribute to making me a better person, to really love fully as a daughter. I'm praying for you. Just continue loving, forgiving, and offering all the hurts to God. Before you know it, things would be a whole lot better. And even if it would take long, you would end up with no regrets because you loved your best and did all you can to save your relationship. God Bless.
Difficult…
ReplyDeleteI think the word is not apt enough to describe this person in my life. It’s just simply DIFFICULT to look for word that word best portray her.
I mean how would you describe somebody who’s just simple a pain in the head? Somebody who finds mistake in everything you do? Somebody who looks for error rather than being thankful I did something for her? Ugh!
I thank God though that I have tons of patience so we never had an argument. But many times I found myself fuming in rage. Anger ate my sensibility and I just found myself hating her in silence.
But you see, God has strange way of tapping our heart to wake up the anger that’s sleeping in our heart.
A life-changing experience changed my complete perspective about her when I realized that what she was doing was not really meant to hurt me in any way. I can’t go into details lest I’ll end up writing a novel.
The main point is that sometimes people are difficult without being aware that they are DIFFICULT. :)
Difficult People Make Me Close to God
ReplyDeleteHaving a companion (at the office) who is difficult to understand is a sacrifice that’s my feeling whenever I encountered difficult persons. Because their mind is close to accept explanation from others resulting to a negative reaction to a situation. Minsan pa nga kapag mababa ang self esteem ko nakahahawa at nakaka-create ng fear na pati ako ay nagkakaroon ng negative thoughts na humahantong sa takot na makisalamuha sa iba.
Whenever I feel that situation, that is the time I know God is calling me, I go to church and goes straight to the adoration chapel to talk to God and to explain my fear and lift them up to God. And whenever I talk to God, He explains everything, He brightens my mind and lightens up my difficulty in dealing with people na ang tawag ko ay matigas ang ulo. Minsan nga ginigising ako ni God kapag matigas ang ulo ko, at nangyayari yon kapag nagyayabang ako. God reminds me always na wala akong kayamanan sa mundo at lahat ng ito ay hiram ko lang kay God.
I should understand others the way God understand me. I should always remember PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE! HUMILITY IS A MUST!
Thanks Bro. Bo for taking your time to hear us, God Bless Us All!
Funny but after thinking for a very long time I can’t think of any difficult person in my life right now but myself….honestly I feel like I’m two persons in one body…as much as I want to face the challenges of life as much as I want to put confidence in what I do and can do, this other person in me just never fails to pull me down….I am very aware of all the blessings GOD is giving me and I feel ashamed as I am wasting all these blessings because of my weaknesses. I am too weak to fight this other person within me…I am praying, praying so hard that GOD would send someone who will help me pull her away, if not, give me the super mega to the max strength to fight and finally succeed…...
ReplyDeleteDear Bo,
ReplyDeleteI am now experiencing stress and depression because of a very difficult person in our work place. There are times that I want to quit but my sister is telling me to be patient and enduring. I usually tell her that it is easy for her to say that since she is not in my position. One time she laughed at me and told me that she also has a difficult person in her work place. I've asked her what she does whenever "the difficult person" makes her life miserable? She told me plainly that you just have to accept and forgive the person as she is. She added that I could not do that overnight. It took her time before she did it. I'm now contemplating to do the same, hope I'll be successful. I've learned also that I grew stronger now. Stronger in faith since I cling only to the hope that one day all will be well because God is great all the time.
Thanks Bo for all the inspiring books and real life lessons you give to us. God is great for giving you to us.
John
difficult persons are blessings in disguise you're right, we should welcome them in our lives.
ReplyDeletemy permanent difficult person in my life is my husband of 30 years with whom i have 3 kids, (perhaps i am also his permanent difficult person). you rarely win in an argument with him so there are very few fights with him since i tend to avoid them. he believes he's right most of the time, he used to have a short fuse when he was younger it sometimes shows up, that's why if we argue, i tend to stop it early with silence. he looks at the negative side more than the positive even with his own kids such that he tends to label them and plays favorites, i just pray to God for him and my kids non-stop. he can be self-centered it's most difficult to correct him, and thinks he's better than so and so; but i believe God sent him to me for a reason that is beneficial to me. i think the gifts He intended in sending this difficult person to me are: patience, perseverance and fortitude, humility, forgiveness and unconditional love.
i encounter those thing that people who is difficult to handle but in sincere prayers,it can be melted those attitude,i experienced it soooooooooooooooo many times in my job,and it can be solved,JUST PRAY ON IT AND ASK FOR IT,SEEK ON IT TO GOD
ReplyDeleteLove, patience, kindness, compassion.. Almost every fruit of the Holy Spirit in Galatians has been the result and gift of God to me for this difficult person. For over a decade now I've had this friend who has a dependency problem along with a hurtful past that has complicated his attitude and character.
ReplyDeleteIt has affected the friends he claims to be his friends so much that they don't want to claim his friendship. And most of these friends he claims to be his friends talk to me about it since I've been the longest friend among the friends he calims to be friends. How can you cope with him Galatian? That's always the question they ask me.
I tell them: I've learned that to change a person is not my job but God's job. But we can pray for him because as we pray for him God doesn't actually change him but He changes us to understand him more. God changes us to become better persons. God changes us to love him more. And if you look at it that way then our friend changes for the better... that will just be the bonus from what has changed in you.
I couldn't recall now what I had used to do when faced with an offensive person. I think normally I'd feel resentful and angry, as I may still initially do now. But now thanks be to God, encounters with such people becomes an occasion for me to call on the word of God as they seem in my heart appropriate:
ReplyDelete1. love your enemies (them)
2. bless your enemies (them)
3. pray for (them) everyone
4. confront them privately after praying
5. confront them infront of witnesses
6. not "throw pearls before them"
7. cast them (your worries) upon the Lord
8. rejoice in the Lord (always)
9. Give thanks (in all things)
Assuredly after having gone through all this hindi muna siya kailangan bigwasan.
One time, I mistakenly forgot that I had parked my car infront of a resturant along then Pasay Rd. When I remembered and got back, all my four tires had been deflated. I confronted the owner (an Italian I believe) and told him that I was sorry I forgot I had parked my car inappropriately but that he shouldn't have done that to my tires. He said I had it coming and I learned from the parking attendants of adjacent establishments that even a lady driver had suffered similarly. I eventually got the tires fixed after a few hours and I had in mind to report him to my friend in city hall and have his permit suspended or revoked, but after praying remembered that "vengeance is mine, says the Lord."
I cast the incident unto the Lord and let my action be a witness to those who helped me fix the tires. After a couple of weeks I saw the restaurant padlocked and under guards! It turned out that the owner of the property had gotten a court order to close down and take possesion of everything inside, lock, stock and barrel so to speak.
In praise of God,
Alex
About 90% of my bosses when I migrated to LA are what people would normally consider difficult - one was a pathological liar who makes up stories about co-workers and got them fired (he was the Chief Financial Officer), one was an arrogant bully and liar (another CFO), one was very temperamental (you guess it right, a CFO..makes you wonder what are they teaching the accounting students here), the current one looks down on immigrants and would rather have men working for him than women (he is gay). Fortunately, all except the pathological liar who was fired became close to me and learned to trust me and valued my opinions. I tried to know them, their childhood, dig deeper to find out the source of their negativity. I was also not afraid to speak up and stand my ground. Not showing fear and speaking up is usually the antidote to a bully. They finally realized that I can be trusted. Some of them just feel threatened that I would take over their jobs. I believe the special gifts that we are give are patience, courage but above all, understanding & wisdom. My current boss (the gay one) got rid of my 2 co-workers who are guys and now treats me like his sister and confidante.
ReplyDeleteBo, when i 1st attended the feast, this was your topic, and both me and my mom was deeply touch, we even cried during your talk, only to realized that kami pala ung difficult person sa buhay namin, ha ha ha.... i guess i'm the worst difficult person in her life ( i was very young then ). LOL. after that "realization" i guess little by little we tried to patch those difficulties, no body is perfect.
ReplyDeleteBo i can handle diffucult persons in my life as long as he/she not in the family, so their this one person who really makes our life a living hell and sad to say he even my brother in law, you see he's a parasite in our family, he make my sister like a robot and even hurt her, pinapulis na nga namin eh, kaso ung ate ko rin ang may problema nasa system na yata nya. before talagang nakikialam ako pero magsasawa ka rin eh, i just give all to the Lord, kaya lang minsan talagang sasabog ka rin because last dec 21 ung isang pamangkin ko ( nasa akin sya ako ang nagpapalaki, but i let them have her once in a while) told me na hinahawakan daw sya ng papa nya duon and she make some actions that really amkes my birthday the worst time of my life, hindi muna ako nag react sa kanya sinumbong ko sya\, but what can we do... until last March 19 talagang sumabog na ko, we even went to barangays, but the DSWD said that they will get the custody of my niece, so we just din't bother to continue the case. hay Bo if i will tell you all baka maubos ang space na ito... basta ngayon i just really give it all to him bahala na lang ang panginoon sa kanya alam naman nya lahat lahat..... because i also have my own family to take care of baka magkasakit naman ako eh i still have a toddler son who also need me. for now we just make my niece forget about it and give her more love and attention than before.. sometimess difficult persons are needed in our life to make us a stronger person, otherwise, life will be less boring.
Lord thank you for all this trials and this person who makes my life difficult, because they give colors to my day.
( sometimes i put lord pwede past muna ngayon kasi medyo, wala ako sa mood) LOL
Bo thank you for that topic it makes me realized how much difficult person in our live does not have to be negative,.... GOD Bless YOU!!!!
There's always something nice and great about people i would consider "difficult". There always is... Come to think of it, i may also be "difficult" from their point of view!
ReplyDeleteThe best way i handle "difficult" people? I always think everyone was created in God's image - then they don't seem difficult anymore. :-)
Dear Bo,
ReplyDeleteExactly I am hit by your message. I think the LORD is using you to send the message to me. I have problem with my officemate we have to minimize expenses but some of my officemate even personal expenses was included on their replenishment. A while ago three of my officemate chatting about me maybe their manager call their attention. I hate corrupt people here in our office there are lots of it. I keep on praying to the HOLY SPIRIT that he guide me and the rest of the people so that the company won't suffer. But I know I can handle the situation it was just work related, there a lot of things i encountered more than this but still nalalagpasan ko. I know that JESUS is leading me everyday. GOD BLESS.
One thing iv'e learned, God allows those difficult person to come into our life for us to become a better person, a better christian. From then , you will understand more the love God has given to us. Everytime i encountered problems, trials, i always think na wala lang to sa hirap na dinanas ni GOD nung ipako siya sa cross. At sa ganun, lahat lahat mawawala lang ....na bawat luha na papatak sa aking mga mata....alam ko katumbas nitoy kaligayahang wlang hanggan. Maybe, its difficult to understand....but the difficult person in my life since i was a child is my MOTHER.....a mother whom u think will protect you from anybody is the one who will make your life miserable...who almost make you crazy. YES, its true....and with that experience muntik na akong mabaliw...and if that happen she (mom) is the reason na mawawalan ng ina ang mga anak ko....then i asked help from GOD......i ONLY believe that theres GOD but knowing him deeper ay HINDI.......that time i knew to myself HE'S REAL....if you just open your heart and surender everything.... you will feel the presence within HIM , HIS love.
ReplyDeleteJust don't give up....keep on trying even its hard. I believe i can make that difficult person to be a better one when you learn to forgive. I believe everything happen in my life has reason and i thank that.... just believe! NOthing is possible to HIM.I thank GOD for those trials, yes i do coz it makes me what i am now ... Im happy now coz i know HE'S always at my side.... GOD BLESS!!!
well, when i'll be writing this i'll be so undefined person promised!
ReplyDeletei do believed they exists and i do believed that they are serving different pusposes. This fact now, made me wonder much and is making my actuations specially toward this person, more difficult. I may sound not so clear but its a long story to share to you the details. Hopefully, a brief summary will do.
Im just so dumb in love with this person i knew in college.. We were classmates then and both gained our career here in Manila. Last March 2008, i was just so mean and aggressive to tell him i love him. Only to found out that he's not yet ready to inter into a relationship. But were dating since that event. I know from the start where I stand in his life...but now, I am hurting my self when some though very simple expectations I have for him won't be met. Now, my question is: Am I the difficult person or him?
Thanks for reading. Hope you'll find time sharing your thoughts to me and would in a way help me make things clear.
Yes. We have and he is really getting in all our nerves in the Team. So many are leaving the project now because of him. Even me I sometimes think of it too.
ReplyDeleteBro. Bo, everyday I pray that may God touches his heart that he will not become irrational and illogical to us and for me to be more patient and understanding with him. Yet, it seems I couldn't hold on my temper if he is treating me or others such as a slave person in the office and who is really helpless in every situation, especially nowadays.He is doing it to everyone even to my boss. By the way, our Team composes few companies hence, each company is being represented by big boss too.
I'm sure the continuation of this article you had been posted Bro. Bo will help us understand more deeply why these things happened to us.
Thank you for being a Heaven sent. Hope you'll include us in your prayers.
God bless you and your family.
emma, huwag kang mag-alala at humingin ng tawad sa nararamdaman mo dahil hindi mo naman kasalanan iyon!
ReplyDeleteMaganda naman iyong ginawa mo mula sa naramdaman mong iyon e! :)
Ang mahiwagang yamang kakayahan na binigay sa akin ng Panginoon para sa mga magugulong tao dito sa mundo ay ang aking pagiging inosente, masayahin, at humanistik. Naliligtas ako sa kanila kasi tinitignan ko pa rin ang kagandahan sa loob nila basta hindi ako nagugulo gamit ang mga ito! ;D
Dear Bo,
ReplyDeleteThis particular article comes as a kick in my head, just when I am complaining about this ever difficult person in my life - my boss. I feel he annoys me not only as a boss at work but also as a person in my social life.
I am not sure if I have taken the godly lesson from this person; but I think I got some hints: not to hate him, but to take him just the way he is (coz I want to be loved just the way I am as well); not to swear or curse on him even at my wits end, instead to take him into contemplation.. bottom line is to be patient on him.
It's easier said than done, eh? I still find myself mocking behind him just for the things he said and done. I sometimes wonder what makes me hate him so; what triggers this negativity. All I can do best now is avoiding him; just to avoid my negative responses coming into surface.
*still dwelling*
Yes Bro. Bo I have a difficult person in my life . . . he is my ex bf for almost 8 months... we've been steady for almost 7 years of our relationship... he break up with me 8 months ago.... i could still feel the pain he cause me .... i hate him for giving me this kind of feelings pinaasa nya ako na kami ang magkakatuluyan but all of sudden iniwanan din nya ako at my age ryt now ... 29 yrs old im afraid na tatanda akong dalaga and im blame him for that na pakiramdam ko pinaasa nya ako din bigla nalang akong iniwan sa ere ang sakit sakit para sa akin na tanggapin ang lahat.... its very difficult for me to forget and forgive that person. i know too i could blame also my self kong bakit nangyari sa amin un .. .. i m the one also forced him kong bakit nag hanap sya ng iba sa ibang bansa pinaramdam ko rin kc sa kanya na i think i could not wait him for another 2 years because of my age sabi nya kc pinapaaral pa nya ung kapatid nya for another 2 years pero wala naman sya pinangako kong kilan nya ako pakakasalan he left me kc sabi ko daw di naman ako makapaghintay sa kanya which is hindi nya naman sinabi kong until when ako mahhihintay. ... 8months na kaming walang communication after our broke up ...but still i could not forget him everyday.... its very hard for me to go on with my life ryt now. im still depressed and lonely. i could not still forgive him minsan sinasabi ko napatawad ko n sya but deep inside my heart hindi parin i know kailangan ko na syang kalimutan at patawarin but it's really really hard for me. andaming evil thoughts ang gusto kong gawin sa kanya at sa babae nya but i know di tama un . . . how i wish i can forgive and forget!
ReplyDeleteI do have a difficult person in my life and through the years I've been constantly hounded by questions from friends and family why I stick it out with this person.
ReplyDeleteInside this kind and loving man is a wounded soul and being such he usually makes wrong decisions that hurt not only himself but me as well. But i do and still believe that one day all these will pass and he will be a new person.
If there is one gift this experience taught me that would be faith; faith in the Lord that He will touch this person and heal his wounds; faith in the intrinsic goodness of people (even when sometimes it becomes difficult to surface); and faith in myself that through patience and love I will be able to help and heal this difficult person in my life.
i still have to meet one...
ReplyDeleteMeeting with different kinds of people don’t warrant me in dealing with difficult persons. In medical world, we must be patient to our patients and it is easier because I know the reason why are they’re acting or behaving such ways. But it is very different from co-workers or superiors… sometimes they are irritating, condescending and they do get into my nerves but I’d rather keep my composure and held on my patience. I don’t retaliate or argue head-on because I know it will be much more stressful for me… I’d rather talk about whatever situation to my closest friend and pray. It is much more lighter for me that way. And I do some meditating or delve myself into deeper thoughts, maybe it is me who are difficult and if I am, I learned to ask for God’s grace to change me because I realize I cannot please nor change everyone… so there…
ReplyDeleteMy boyfriend whose worthless enough and so dependent on me but yet so ungrateful. too bad.
ReplyDeleteHi, Bo! It's so good for you to have thought of this topic! I and my family have a very difficult person in our midst. He is my brother. But I believe God blessed us with him because he is teaching us to be humble, to be understanding, to be patient, etc. He is separated from his wife and son, had been out of job for for 10 years now, got sick with TB and has changed so much physically! He is a very difficult person because
ReplyDeletehe is very irritable even with slight faults or mistakes,
curses my mother and almost everyone of us in the family; so full of pride, inconsiderate of other's feelings, and a lot more! He quarrels with everyone: my mother, sister, brother, my children and comments on everyone negatively. When he opens his mouth to speak, there is nothing good and beautiful that he says. We continue day and night praying that he will change; that God will give him wisdom and enlightenment.
Let's pray for all the difficult persons in the world so that we ourselves will not be difficult persons to them!
Just reading everybody's share of difficult persons in their lives makes me feel blessed that the difficult persons I have encountered are not members of my family.
ReplyDeleteMarami din akong na-meet na difficult and from time to time I deal with one in my job (he's our company's partner). However, I think God gives difficult persons in our lives "para subukin ang ating pagka-Kristiano".
Like one of the earlier comments, these people may also label us as difficult din.
Reading the article makes me realize that they are God's children as well. Kasi minsan if the person is so difficult, we tend to forget that (kasi nga nasa Dark side sya ng force, ba!).
Yes, patience is also enhanced thru experiences with difficult people. One day, we will reach the patience level that they are no longer difficult because we have learned to live with them or God has touched their lives that they change to a better person.
Late last year, this difficult boss called me on 31 Dec to comment on a particular job-related incident (very typical of him). But to my amazement, he asked How I was!!!!! Well that's unusual and I think that's God's work.
Thank you, Lord, for touching this person! Please continue doing so (kasi minsan makulit pa din at unreasonable.
Thanks, Bo for reminding us of the blessings we receive in meeting these people!
God Bless!!!
Hey i am a difficult person...........
ReplyDeleteIt's been 4 months since I aacepted the job to be the secretary of my boss. I was warned though about his not so good attitude but I still accepted the offer. Since then, my everyday life changed, even my attitude changed. I always have butterfies in my stomach everytime I go to his office. He is really a very difficult person and was not at all comfortable working with him. I learned that he had a difficult past that resulted him to be bitter about life.
ReplyDeleteBut I did not stop from there.. I asked my cell groupmates for prayers.. Every sunday , during our cell meeting, I will always ask them to pray for my boss so that he will be healed. The Lord is so good because He listen to our prayers, my boss is starting to change.. Most of my ofcmates are suprised with his new attitude.. I just told them, NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD!!
It's been 4 months since I aacepted the job to be the secretary of my boss. I was warned though about his not so good attitude but I still accepted the offer. Since then, my everyday life changed, even my attitude changed. I always have butterfies in my stomach everytime I go to his office. He is really a very difficult person and was not at all comfortable working with him. I learned that he had a difficult past that resulted him to be bitter about life.
ReplyDeleteBut I did not stop from there.. I asked my cell groupmates for prayers.. Every sunday , during our cell meeting, I will always ask them to pray for my boss so that he will be healed. The Lord is so good because He listened to our prayers, my boss is starting to change.. Most of my ofcmates are suprised with his new attitude.. I just told them, NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD!!
Thank you Lord for the gift of patience. Praise God!
ReplyDeleteHi Bro.Bo,
ReplyDeleteI am a silent reader of your articles and it really helps me a lot.
The first most difficult person in my life is my father.He is selfish,drunkard,irresponsible.He likes to show-off, he`s good to other people but to us his family he is very
mean and unsupportive.He treats my mother as his maid,not as his wife, but somebody that will follow all his commands.
I tried to change our family by helping my siblings go to college,and at the same time helping my mother to get off the financial problems we had then.But after helping them,compromising my own studies just to work for them,they did not even help me to finish my studies,my siblings just go on with their flourishing careers and big salaries.at least they said thank you to me.
It`s really sad that sometimes our family becomes the difficult person in our life,but i`ve learned to accept that reality.
In my prayers i always tell God to bless all the people who made my life difficult and bless me to be a strong person so i can face those people with a smile.
My korean-american manager sometimes cannot talk without hurting people. He has his way of delivering things that are very degrading and ego-shattering. He says that this is to challenge us to strive for the better but people in the dept are slowly moving out because of his attitude (I don't think he has realized this yet). I dont know if I can stay in this job for long although there are a lot of things I can learn from the company.
ReplyDeleteGod is teaching me to be patient and to love my "enemies"..eto na sya! =) ... pray for me.
the most difficult person in my world is also my angel. however the evil inside him is called autism.
ReplyDeletemy 4 year old son caught this disease for reasons we have not confirmed yet. everyday is a challenge, and everyday it draws me closer to God asking Him to touch my son with His healing hands.
a day has never passed without me feeling how truly blessed i am with my angel and 2 other lovely kids, they never fail to give my stomach butterflies.
u gotta have faith!!!
Hi Bro bo..
ReplyDeleteup to now nag dududa padin ako sa mister ko kung true na nag bago n sya sa pambabae nya. kc nakaka basa p ko ng mga txt ng girl sa cell nya minsan p nga malalaswa mga txt . wala padin akong peace of mind sa kanya pinag papa sa dios k nalng si lord nlang bahala sa kanya. pero masakit p din po pag po naiisip ko lalo n girl pa baby nmin natatkot ako someday sa kasabihang baka balikan ng karma ang anak namin. Pray ko po kay LORD na patatagin nya ako at maayos n ang relasyon nming mag asawa at mag tino n po ng totoo ang mister ko. tama n po ang pasakit at sakit n naranasan ko sa mister ko ng dahil lang sa girl nya. patawarin po ako ni lord kc lagi ko sinasabi n bangungut sakin mister ko.. bakit mister ko pa ang mag lulubog sakin ..lord help me po...
thanks for having this topic... grabe!!! i always wanted to voice out my sentiments. i'm having problem with my in laws... a brother and a sister in law to be exact. my husband and me live in their house (kaya kasama namin ang brother in law ko sa house) along with our baby and yaya. He's older than me but he calls me "ate", he's a very ill-tempered person although sometimes i feel that namamlastik lang sya ng pakikitungo sa akin kasi nga i'm the wife of his kuya, there are times na he invite me to eat kapag nadadatnan ko syang kumakain or he would acknowledge my presence and sometimes he totally ignore me. It's okey with me pero kasi my time na sobrang ignore nya ako at pati ang anak kong 2years old ay dinadamay nyang hindi pansinin. I don't remember anything na ginawa ko or sinabing masama that might have offended him. Pero oftentimes than not, parang wala siyang respeto sa akin. my sister in law on the other hand doesn't live with us but her two (2) kids (13 girl and 10 boy) stays with us every weekend although during vacation (either summer or christmas vacation) they go to our place. These two kids bugged kasi bata pa lang sila plastic na, (sorry for the term... i just don't know kung anong term ang mas appropriate...) They were only nice and give respect to me (kiss me on the cheek or mag-mamano) in the presence of my husband or their parents kapag wala sila deadma ako... i could live with it kaya lang pati ang pakikitungo nila sa anak ko pinaplastic din nila. I learned from the yaya na pinagdadamutan nila ang bata, they would even tease her with food and let her watch them eat their food dahil kanila yun. In short kung ano ang food sa bahay sa aming lahat kung sila ang bumili kanila lang. Their mom is also mataray pero i could deal with her, kasi the think pinaplastik ko sila sa pakikitungo ko but GOD knows i'm trying my best to be sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo patient with them... there are alot of things (bad things) that had happened between me and my in laws pero napatawad ko na sila ngayon kaya lang right now pati ang anak ko dinadamay nila... what can a 2 year old kid can do against them. Much as i want to live separately from them but my husband and my salary are not enough so we just stay with them... i still have alot of stories about their "pakikipag-plastikan" with me and my child. Pero like most of us who write here, we are lifting it to GOD! i know that HE is giving me the gift of patience... i'm a very patient person but lately i can't stand knowing how they treat my child. It's so unfair kasi wala syang laban... i don't want her to grow up "madamot" like her cousin but it's not impossible because she could see them and even hears them saying "bad words" like buwisit and S_ _ T! infront of he... i always cry GOD help me to understand and be more patient with them... but i don't know until when i could hold on... HELP!!! thank you and GODBless!!!
ReplyDeleteI work with someone who seems to have the word LAZY embossed on his forehead. Not only that, he is rude, always has side-comments for everything, and worse, acts like the super-busy angel when the big bosses are around. I took that all in stride for a year and a half... Why?
ReplyDeleteHis attitude taught me to be self-sufficient. I relied on my own capabilities, and survived all this time. Just recently, I reported his behavior to my Supervisor, since he behaved rudely in front of a patient we both had. But then, I felt sorry for him, since he still does not understand the purpose of his work.
Like one proverb once said. Three men are my friends... he who LOVES me, he who HATES me and he who is INDIFFERENT to me.
He who loves me teaches me COMPASSION, he who hates me teaches me to be ON MY GUARD, and he who is indifferent to me teaches me SELF-RELIANCE.
I work with someone who seems to have the word LAZY embossed on his forehead. Not only that, he is rude, always has side-comments for everything, and worse, acts like the super-busy angel when the big bosses are around. I took that all in stride for a year and a half... Why?
ReplyDeleteHis attitude taught me to be self-sufficient. I relied on my own capabilities, and survived all this time. Just recently, I reported his behavior to my Supervisor, since he behaved rudely in front of a patient we both had. But then, I felt sorry for him, since he still does not understand the purpose of his work.
Like one proverb oncce said. Three men are my friends... he who LOVES me, he who HATES me and he who is INDIFFERENT to me.
He who loves me teaches me COMPASSION, he who hates me teaches me to be ON MY GUARD, and he who is indifferent to me teaches me SELF-RELIANCE.
thanks for having this topic... grabe!!! i always wanted to voice out my sentiments. i'm having problem with my in laws... a brother and a sister in law to be exact. my husband and me live in their house (kaya kasama namin ang brother in law ko sa house) along with our baby and yaya. He's older than me but he calls me "ate", he's a very ill-tempered person although sometimes i feel that namamlastik lang sya ng pakikitungo sa akin kasi nga i'm the wife of his kuya, there are times na he invite me to eat kapag nadadatnan ko syang kumakain or he would acknowledge my presence and sometimes he totally ignore me. It's okey with me pero kasi my time na sobrang ignore nya ako at pati ang anak kong 2years old ay dinadamay nyang hindi pansinin. I don't remember anything na ginawa ko or sinabing masama that might have offended him. Pero oftentimes than not, parang wala siyang respeto sa akin. my sister in law on the other hand doesn't live with us but her two (2) kids (13 girl and 10 boy) stays with us every weekend although during vacation (either summer or christmas vacation) they go to our place. These two kids bugged kasi bata pa lang sila plastic na, (sorry for the term... i just don't know kung anong term ang mas appropriate...) They were only nice and give respect to me (kiss me on the cheek or mag-mamano) in the presence of my husband or their parents kapag wala sila deadma ako... i could live with it kaya lang pati ang pakikitungo nila sa anak ko pinaplastic din nila. I learned from the yaya na pinagdadamutan nila ang bata, they would even tease her with food and let her watch them eat their food dahil kanila yun. In short kung ano ang food sa bahay sa aming lahat kung sila ang bumili kanila lang. Their mom is also mataray pero i could deal with her, kasi the think pinaplastik ko sila sa pakikitungo ko but GOD knows i'm trying my best to be sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo patient with them... there are alot of things (bad things) that had happened between me and my in laws pero napatawad ko na sila ngayon kaya lang right now pati ang anak ko dinadamay nila... what can a 2 year old kid can do against them. Kung ako lang kaya kong ihandle but hindi ko kayang makitang pati ang anak ko dinadamay nila sa inis nila sa akin... Much as i want to live separately from them but my husband and my salary are not enough so we just stay with them... i still have alot of stories about their "pakikipag-plastikan" with me and my child. Pero like most of us who write here, we are lifting it to GOD! i know that HE is giving me the gift of patience... i'm a very patient person but lately i can't stand knowing how they treat my child. It's so unfair kasi wala syang laban... i don't want her to grow up "madamot" like her cousin but it's not impossible because she could see them and even hears them saying "bad words" like buwisit and S_ _ T! She would utter these words na din without knowing the meaning of the word. For three years I've been praying for them... even lifting them to the LORD that HE may bless them and touch their hearts... i always cry to GOD everyday to help me, to understand and be more patient with them... but i don't know until when i could hold on... HELP!!! thank you and GODBless!!!
ReplyDeletehi! i would just like to share with you what i have been experiencing right now with a very special friend.. i dont know if i he\'s really a difficult person to deal with but i consider him as one heck of a guy.. i truly love this person and i am very happy when i am with him.. i help him in very inch of the way when he needs my help.. i never fail to text him everyday and he got the same attitude towards me.. i accepted the fact that it cant be the two of us, that we are just friends, best friends most probably.. that was our set up not until last friday (May 9), i texted him at around 1:30 in the afternoon and i didn\'t receive a reply from him until evening.. i texted him repeatedly and he sent a reply at 11 PM with an annoying tone in his text message.. we argued about it that night but to no avail.. but still i keep on texting him everyday until this day.. i tried to ask for help from our friends but they could not persuade him either to talk to me.. one of our friends told me this morning that he is really very \"matigas\" when they are speaking about me.. bro. Bo, he is one of the most important people in my life and i love him so much.. please help me in praying for us.. honestly, i am at the point of giving up buit i know that there is still hope in the Lord.. dakal pung salamat in advance! God bless you and your family!
ReplyDeleteBro. Bo, thanks for having this topic... grabe!!! i always wanted to voice out my sentiments. i'm having problem with my in laws... a brother and a sister in law to be exact. my husband and me live in their house (kaya kasama namin ang brother in law ko sa house) along with our baby and yaya. He's older than me but he calls me "ate", he's a very ill-tempered person although sometimes i feel that namamlastik lang sya ng pakikitungo sa akin kasi nga i'm the wife of his kuya, there are times na he invite me to eat kapag nadadatnan ko syang kumakain or he would acknowledge my presence and sometimes he totally ignore me. It's okey with me pero kasi my time na sobrang ignore nya ako at pati ang anak kong 2years old ay dinadamay nyang hindi pansinin. I don't remember anything na ginawa ko or sinabing masama that might have offended him. Pero oftentimes than not, parang wala siyang respeto sa akin. my sister in law on the other hand doesn't live with us but her two (2) kids (13 girl and 10 boy) stays with us every weekend although during vacation (either summer or christmas vacation) they go to our place. These two kids bugged kasi bata pa lang sila plastic na, (sorry for the term... i just don't know kung anong term ang mas appropriate...) They were only nice and give respect to me (kiss me on the cheek or mag-mamano) in the presence of my husband or their parents kapag wala sila deadma ako... i could live with it kaya lang pati ang pakikitungo nila sa anak ko pinaplastic din nila. I learned from the yaya na pinagdadamutan nila ang bata, they would even tease her with food and let her watch them eat their food dahil kanila yun. In short kung ano ang food sa bahay sa aming lahat kung sila ang bumili kanila lang. Their mom is also mataray pero i could deal with her, kasi the think pinaplastik ko sila sa pakikitungo ko but GOD knows i'm trying my best to be sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo patient with them... there are alot of things (bad things) that had happened between me and my in laws pero napatawad ko na sila ngayon kaya lang right now pati ang anak ko dinadamay nila... what can a 2 year old kid can do against them. Kung ako lang kaya kong ihandle but hindi ko kayang makitang pati ang anak ko dinadamay nila sa inis nila sa akin... Much as i want to live separately from them but my husband and my salary are not enough so we just stay with them... i still have alot of stories about their "pakikipag-plastikan" with me and my child. Pero like most of us who write here, we are lifting it to GOD! i know that HE is giving me the gift of patience... i'm a very patient person but lately i can't stand knowing how they treat my child. It's so unfair kasi wala syang laban... i don't want her to grow up "madamot" like her cousin but it's not impossible because she could see them and even hears them saying "bad words" like buwisit and S_ _ T! She would utter these words na din without knowing the meaning of the word. For three years I've been praying for them... even lifting them to the LORD that HE may bless them and touch their hearts... i always cry to GOD everyday to help me, to understand and be more patient with them... but i don't know until when i could hold on... HELP!!! thank you and GODBless!!!
ReplyDeleteHmm..
ReplyDeleteI guess the gifts that we receive from these "difficult people" are actually the things we are praying for.
I remember in the movie Evan Almighty, Morgan Freeman, the actor who played God said something like "When we pray for patience, what we get are situations where our patience is being challenged. "
We don't directly get things we prayed for, but what we get are the opportunities where we can learn how to acquire those gifts.
Yes we have a very difficult person in our community who always tried to convince others to side him and go against the leader in our community. He wanted to be look up by everybody but sad to say we don't like his ways. The worst thing is that I have to pass by his house in going to work, to church or whenever I go out. So i prayed hard to God to tone down my pride so that I could greet him whenever he is around when I pass by. God heard my prayer and I'm not angry anymore when I met him. I accepted him that, thats his role in life.
ReplyDeleteFor he is the cause of the break up of our community and now I'm still praying that we can be reunited soon through help of God. Please pray for our community.
like the others, i also have a difficult person in my life at siya'y walang iba kundi ang bro-in-law kong SOBRANG YABANG!!!! just merely thinking of him draws my blood to boil. grabe ang kayabangan ng taong ito. feeling nya righteous siya at ang pamilya nya just because they belong to this certain kind of religiuos group. and one thing that really irritates me is the way he tries to discipline our children. duh?! i-bypass daw ba ang pagiging magulang ko? it's not that i don't want him to meddle w/ our family but it's the way he does it. naturingang religious (sabi n'ya) pero nakikipagmataasan sya.
ReplyDeletei just pray that i'd be numb to totally be able to ignore him. haay, Lord! please help me.
It seems to me that most of the "difficult" persons in our lives come mainly from two places: Office and Home. Two places we spend most of our times in,
ReplyDeleteand palces we thought we are in the company of people who love and understand (home) us the most and where our talents and skills (office) are supposed to be honed and appreciated.
It's really hard to live each day knowing there are people who make our lives miserable... I, myself, am having a very hard time at work for about a year now because of mean superiors who only think about their personal gains at the expense of others. . .
But I think God sends these people to remind us that He is bigger than anyone. In fact he is the biggest and the most powerful person in the whole universe. And no matter how cruel our bosses and some of our family members are, God is still a lot, lot, lot Bigger and powerful than any of them.
So we need to surrender everything to HIM and in His time we will find the happiness and peace we all deserve to have.
Let's all pray for each other.
Thanks and God Bless you Bro. Bo.
I laughed out loud when I saw the title of this post.
ReplyDeleteMy mother-in-law is currently the most difficult person in my life, maybe followed closely by my husband :)
We've been living with my in-laws for 9 years. I figured early on that my mother-in-law has a major obsessive-compulsive disorder, a gigantic inferiority complex, and probably schizophrenic. Because I understand that she cannot help what she is, I simply adjusted and learned the ways and means of living a peaceful co-existence. But here's my current problem:
I have a 2 year-old son and she's driving all my yayas away with her convoluted rules and unfair accusations! My son is suffering, my work is suffering, and my health is affected. I want out! The solution is quite simple - we have to move out because I have to consider my son's well-being first.
That's where my difficult person #2 comes into the picture. My hubby and I get along very well and I love him to bits. But his reaction to any problem is to focus just on the negative aspects and so never arrive at any solutions. He gets depressed. He gets stressed. And he says I'm putting more pressure on him by insisting we make a decision to move out. His comfort zone is very small and any major decision paralyzes him. I, on the other hand, always look for a solution and am very impatient to carry them out! Aaaargghh!!!!
My yayas never stay for more than 3 weeks. I worry that the instability will affect my son so I take care of him as much as possible, which compromises my work. It's so tiring.
My husband is a blessing. So is my son. Having a house to go home to without having to pay rent is a great blessing. But I'm ready to move on, and I hope that God will provide a way.
well, maybe nothing can compare to the most difficult person in my life, that is my younger brother.
ReplyDeleteall of the description that was on the list above fits my brother, selfish, possesive, constantly angry, annoying etc. sometimes i think God really made a human being closer enough to turn my good day into a bad one.
i tried talking it over to him a lot. He doesnt listen to my explanations and it turned out that he was the one giving me the sermon instead of me giving it to him.
he hates me whenever i have some achievement. whenever i talked about it in the family about what i received in school, and now at work, he really locked the door of his room,blag! and doesnt wanna hear my stories.
before we used to fight a lot, but i got really tired of him, plus the fact that i don't feel it was worth arguing with him. until i realized that i became more patient and strong because of him. i became more resilient and maybe he is wondering why im not the way i am now compared to what i was before towards him.
but somehow, i pity him. because as i grow, he's not. he blame others because of what he is now. which is wrong. i hope one day God will be on his side too. i hope one day he would feel the Love of God for him. i can only do so much to make him realize that God loves him and he can change his life and perspective in life. I think one way of expressing his loneliness is through anger. but i think thats a wasteful emotion. He should know that he is also responsible of taking care of his soul. there has been lots of hurtful things he did to me but this time, i wont allow him anymore.
I pray to God he will be renewed in spirits.
To ariane, who said,
ReplyDelete"A Difficult person in my life. Yes unluckily husband k o yun. Just last night nag away kami, i had discovered a text message from a girl, na alam kong babae niya and naka imply na ngkikita sila.... Since nagkaroon kami ng big problem, dun nagstart ang pagiging mainitin ang ulo niya, naninigaw, nagmumura, but i still accept him coz i love him and also for my 2 kids. But just the other night he abused me physically i cried all night. But pinatwad ko din siya."
Please know that it's not being "Christian" or "loving" by allowing another person, even if he's your husband, to abuse you in any way. Bo would always teach that having healthy boundaries is part of loving ourselves. And we cannot love others correctly unless we first learn to love ourselves. If your husband abuses you, let him know in no uncertain terms that if he doesn't stop, you will leave him and take your kids with you until he shows remorse and he changes. You will also do your two kids much good by showing them that it is unacceptable behavior for someone to abuse another person, especially since it's their dad who is beating up their mom. Please seek counsel and call our Light of Jesus Counseling hotline 725-9999 so you can get the strength and enlightenment you need. God bless you!
What gifts i have received through difficult people:
ReplyDelete1.)the ability to love more.
2.)to accept people as they are. because God loves all.
3.)oppurtunity to grow more like Jesus.
4.)to become more patient
5.)the oppurtunity to apply the wisdoms that i have received.
6.) i learned that nothing beats love. Because love is like water flowing upon rock, and the hardest of rocks will slowly crack open over time.
7.) the chance to change for the better, if i am not able to control the situation.
I hope this helps others.
Godbless! =)
Gabby
with these difficult people in my life, I learn to become more patient and more cool especially in difficult circumstances like someone had gone mad in front of you- like putting me into shame in front of other people.... I thank God for giving me the grace to stay cool and did not retaliate that offensive act of my co-worker...
ReplyDeletei learned that difficult persons are only difficult if you think they are...i have encountered a lot in the past and even in the present...when i feel their indifference i feel irritated but later on i will analyze the situation and then i begin to understand them...im trying to look at their positive or good attitude and not on their weaknesses so that i will feel peace in my heart...all of us have our own strengths and weaknesses...we just have to accept the weaknesses of the people around us...sometimes these people have experienced past hurts and indifference also, that made them the persons they are now, all they need is understanding and love...then later on we will realize that difficult persons are blessings from God...
ReplyDeletei know when i was younger i am difficult to others but as i grew older and become mature i realized that God has blessed me with so many things and that GRATITUDE towards HIM made me a better person...GOD'S TRUE LOVE FOR ME THAT I EXPERIENCED IN SO MANY WAYS HAS CHANGED ME AND MY LIFE...I AM NO MORE DIFFICULT BECAUSE I CHOSE NOW TO BE A BLESSING TO OTHERS...
GOD IS GIVING US DIFFICULT PERSONS TO TEACH AND TEST US HOW MUCH WE LOVE HIM...
HES GIVING US DIFFICULT PERSONS IN OUR LIVES TO GIVE US THE GIFT OF TRUE LOVE OR LOVING UNCONDITIONALLY...ITS UP TO US IF WE WILL ACCEPT IT OR NOT...
I DO BELIEVE THAT TRUE LOVE AND SINCERE PRAYERS CAN CHANGE A PERSONS LIFE AND ATTITUDE...LETS JUST CONTINUE PRAYING FOR THEM...
Thanks Bo, you have been an inspiration to me...
GOD BLESS!
Ellea
Well, this difficult person is my husband. We got married last 2005 and from the start of our marriage he is already showing infidelity. I did many things to stop him from doing that.In other words, I tried so hard to save the marriage. After two years, I lost the game. I didn't take it anymore so I left him. We have a two-year old child. Yes, he is such an irresponsible father and husband. It makes me sad knowing that I did everything to make him happy but then still, I failed.....Well, perhaps not really everything.... I did so many novenas asking the saints to help me touch the heart of this person...I guess, even the saints are having difficult time....We still see each other but it seems he's not affected of what's happening.... He even doesn't have plan to reconcile and come back to us.....
ReplyDeleteOn the hand, I still want to thank the Lord, because they took my husband but not my precious angel (my child), they took my dream (to have a complete family) but not my faith. I am still lucky I guess....
May the Lord bless my husband and his mistress!
hi bro bo!
ReplyDeletewell, i'm one of those people who have this "difficult persons" in life. hindi ako nawawalan ng mga ganitong taong nae-encounter, in short, someone is always there to challenge my patience, hehehe...before joining my community, i was really so much affected by this people, but now i learned to pray for them and pray for the way i should handle those people...i also ask the Holy Spirit to bless and guide me in everyway...i also ask Jesus to increase my patience, heheh, ung patience na kasing-haba ng presensya nila sa buhay ko, hehehe....God has given me the "serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can", and most of all, "the wisdom to know the difference"....these difficult people in my life, i have learned to offer to Jesus (in good faith, hehhe)...because through them, marami din akong nabago sa sarili ko....God has used these people for a better me.....God bless everyone! thank you also bro. bo!
i have a live-in partner who is so stubborn and irresponsible. i was contented with our state. that i would be the one working and he would be the one taking care of our children. and then the Lord shook me and bring me back to my senses. our maid left because my husband was hitting on her. i was angry at myself for letting it happen and for not doing anything or pushing him to work for our sake. he learned his lesson and asked for my forgiveness. i forgave him and gave him another chance.
ReplyDeletesometimes God uses difficult people to be an instrument, inorder to awaken us and say that everything is not alright and that i need to stand up for myself.
but then people are good in nature. and that someday i know that if you give them another chance they will change for the better. if God forgave us for the many times we have sinned, i think we should give back by forgiving others in return. however difficult they maybe. as the Lord says, "Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them that despitefully use you; that ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven"
Difficult people are part of everybody's life. If I don't like difficult people what I do is ignore them, Kunwari they don't exsist pero kung kulang na lang sampalin ka well maybe patience, thought, Im really having difficulties being patient with them, sometimes I really really like to twist their neck hehehehe. As my friend said pag wala sila boring ang life natin. So I guess We have no choice but to deal with them. Pag di mo na kaya pray na lang kay lord para kunin na sila. =)
ReplyDeleteDear Bo,
ReplyDeleteI have the same experience. I have a difficult person in my life.
What should I do?
I'm so blessed with this article as right now my husband and I have been & is still experiencing THREE VERY DIFFICULT persons in our lives. Yes, THREE as in 3. First 2 is in the form of a mother & son tandem.
ReplyDeleteFirst, they want me to go to Manila, secondly, they booked me in a motel near their place instead of my usual place in Makati, third, they don't come at our appointed time but made me wait for 3-4 hours, 4th, they want me to bring original proofs of our own personal investments, 5th, they asked me to bring them "pasalubong".
6th, they forced me to buy jewelries from them after our business transaction, telling me that aside from that, I should buy a piece for her, too, as a gift, 7th, they didn't allow me to fly back as they insisted I should treat them for dinner & they want me to facilitate another business transaction, 8th, they are not paying for my airline ticket, rebooking, and hotel expenses.
9th, and you thought it's over? hahaha! 9th, they made me miss my flight by coming 2hrs late for our appointed time, 10th, after finding out I was stranded, they insisted I see them again for further explanation, as if I have not explained enough for the nth time, 11th, they pulled out some of the business transactions without any ado, 12th, they are demanding for 50% of the commission from the remaining sales, as they said; "it is their right and it is God's command to share our blessings"
They are calling us a lot of names, f-----g swindlers, M-----F-----rs, that greedy sl_t of a wife etc. Even if we will share the commission which we haven't received, what assurance do we have that they won't pull out the remaining business transactions after getting money from us?
Hit and Run daw kami even if we have been courteously answering their text and calls.
The 3rd person, is a PhD holder and a faculty member in one of the international schools in Makati, he got angry with us because he doesn't want us to take out w/holding tax from his pay and he is not happy with that.
I'm a very patient person, but we all have our limitations. The gifts I guess that I got from all these experiences? Well, I would say the gift of more tolerance and forgiveness. I pray for these people, oh, yes, I have bad thoughts, too. I'm, after all only human, like Bro. Bo. I believe God is pruning me in these areas and would like me to grow more. Altho, I still can't comprehend why these people who claims to be God-fearing and christians, can do such a thing to a fellow child of God, but I am surrendering them to the Lord. As long as my conscience is clear, I have nothing to fear. As He said, vengeance is mine and not yours to give.
Another gift would be to really and completely trust Him and surrender to Him without question.
Bro. Bo, this article is very timely indeed, for I feel so depressed and frustrated. I am so uplifted to know human ka din pala, I must have thought of you a superbeing hehehe!!!
Thank you very much! God Bless You & Your Family!
yes Bro Bo, there is one most difficult person in my life, it's mu husband. since we live here in the US, life is just totally different...culture, surroundings, people, lifestyle....etc. these are all bearable if my husband who is an american will contribute in making this place a better place. but no... he is too lazy to drive me or us around (with my 3 kids). so i learned to drive independently. yes i agree with you that God has His purpose and reasons. But the situation late is sometimes unbearable..... he domesticated everybody in the family. Yes we have a big house, 5 bedroom and 5 baths, but he lives like a pig that I go crazy when it's time for me to clean the house. Yes we have 8 acre place where I was glad at first because the kids have a big space to play, but no. He plated him 300 some trees and 300 some roses that he said its for "me"..... so that I don't have to buyt the expensive ones at Walmart. But no! he force our youngest son to help him with trimming and fertilizing the fruit trees. And my 2 daughters have to spent an hour and a half watering the and fertilizing the roses, to the extent that the kids can't play after they do their homework. Yes we have a pool but we won't have time hardly time to go swimming because he wanted us to work outside. He even complain when we went home from church late because we have sunday class after mass. Sometimes, yes I do ask God why?
ReplyDeletehi. i got one difficult person in my life when i was a teen ager, who later on i realized was a best friend, guide and helper all along.
ReplyDeletei didn't know she was all that till i grew matured and looked back to my teen age years. if she had allowed me to do what i wanted then,which i thought was my right and privilege, i would be in a harder situation now. had she not been "difficult" to me, i could have made wrong moves and decisions.
i wanted to give up on her then, but now i appreciate the way she were and the things she did. and until now were close. i do not tell her, but i consider her one of my best friends.
God is good, always. the difficult person He sends could be an "angel" to guide us.
Dear Bo,
ReplyDeleteWhat I have learned thru God's grace in dealing with difficult people is..... first and for most accepting the fact that it is I,ME mwa.... has a problem in coping with them. In realizing this, I run to the Lord and ask Him for strength and guidance knowing that on my own it is almost impossible to deal with this without sinning (wishing the person more harm than what I am experincing or something of that sort) and suffering.We always have the choice how to react.
i got one difficult person in my life ( and he's still "testing" me sometimes til now, till i finally blocked him off my messengers) - my ex. We broke up coz he chose to be with another girl whose closer. And what made it difficult is that, he still kept on saying good things to me..which made me confused..to move on or hmmm move on!! of course it made me bitter for sometime ( made me thinner and i got a lot of absences at work grrr) until a friend shared to me a book of Joshua Harris " Boy Meets Girl". I dunno if my friend did it intentionally but thanks to her. It made me open my eyes.
ReplyDeleteI have been NOt in a relationship for "48 years" already, last one was 2001. And when he arrived last year, it was like Bang! then he's gone, like Bang! too :(
My point is that, for me if this difficult person my life hadnt arrived (and left) my view about realtionships wouldve still be like before. from the book Boy Meets Girl it says something like "making a relationship like your god". I worshipped that relationship which is wrong. Now i am single and more happy again. Somehow difficult persons are eye openers God gave us. He cant come here to personally tell us, but His ways are our ways, right?
God Bless you, Bo :)
PS.
I also have some of your books at home..
:)
i got one difficult person in my life ( and he's still "testing" me sometimes til now, till i finally blocked him off my messengers) - my ex. We broke up coz he chose to be with another girl whose closer. And what made it difficult is that, he still kept on saying good things to me..which made me confused..to move on or hmmm move on!! of course it made me bitter for sometime ( made me thinner and i got a lot of absences at work grrr) until a friend shared to me a book of Joshua Harris " Boy Meets Girl". I dunno if my friend did it intentionally but thanks to her. It made me open my eyes.
ReplyDeleteI have been NOt in a relationship for "48 years" already, last one was 2001. And when he arrived last year, it was like Bang! then he's gone, like Bang! too :(
My point is that, for me if this difficult person my life hadnt arrived (and left) my view about realtionships wouldve still be like before. from the book Boy Meets Girl it says something like "making a relationship like your god". I worshipped that relationship which is wrong. Now i am single and more happy again. Somehow difficult persons are eye openers God gave us. He cant come here to personally tell us, but His ways are NOT our ways, right?
God Bless you, Bo :)
PS.
I also have some of your books at home..
:)
one of the difficult persons in my life is my professor.
ReplyDeletearrrgg.. she had done many annoying things to me. grrr! she's so masungit!she's unjust.
i cried a lot of times because of her(not just me, even half of the class). she brought pain in my heart. haaay.. when she's around, my heart is filled of terror.
*nahihirapan akong huminga*..she even humiliated me in front of my classmates..haaay..
but one day, i saw this professor smiling at me, mingling with us(my classmates). sumabay pa umuwi sa min. shocking db? alam mo yun. medyo nalusaw un impression ko sa kanya(pero nandun pa rin e).
days have passed, i realized that my professor is not terror at all,(just slight). maybe she's a monster whenever we're inside the classroom, and when we are outside the classroom,
a drastic transformation will occur.from being a MONSTER she will become a MOM to us.(she wants us to attend her seminars for frEE!)she wants to intensely enrich our knowledge.
siguro, ginagawa niya lang maging terror para ma-force kaming magsipag sa pagaaral kasi minsan pag wala kang takot or sindak na nadadama hindi ka kikilos?right?(lalo na sa panahon ngayon namin mga kabataan)
and now, i consider her as a motivating force.. dahil sa kanya, nachachallenge ako to become a better student!and because of her i always feel that i'm a daughter of God. why? because I always forgive her whenever she does mean things to me.
so I therefore conclude that DIFFICULT PERSONS HAVE A PURPOSE IN OUR LIVES. GOD DESIGN THEM TO TEACH US VALUABLE LESSONS IN LIFE!
BECAUSE OF THEM, WE CAN REALIZE THAT EVEN THEY'RE DOING BAD THINGS TO US, WE US A CHILD OF GOD MUST DO THE GOOD THINGS WE ARE SUPPOSED TO DO. IF THAT IS THEIR NATURE THEN BE IT, DONT LET THEM CONTROL YOU(YOU WILL JUST LET THEM WIN IF THEY CAN CHANGE YOUR GOOD MOODS)
PRAY FOR THEM. IT REALLY WORKS! "more prayer..more Power!
little prayer...little power!
no prayer..no power!" thank you Tito BO. You're such a gift of love from God. God bless=)
i have one, my sister. she is a single mom with two kids. the problem started when she started having boyfriend again. she neglects her kids just to be with her bf.oftentimes the kids would tell us they haven't eaten yet because their mom left, and that they were often left alone at night when their mom is with her bf. it came to the point when she spent the family business' earnings on the guy and now we're the ones left to pay her debts.
ReplyDeletewhen i confronted her, she got so mad and started shouting saying she's going to kill me,she even tried to stab me with a pair of scissors. it wasn't the only time she became physically abusive. i told our father i want to leave the house when i couldn't take it anymore but he just told me to ignore her.
i tried talking to her at first but we always end up fighting. so now i just ignore her. but i can't help but worry about her kids.
Hi Bo!
ReplyDeleteAbout what you wrote, well, I have a very difficult boss who's rude, insulting, and insensitive. I really like the job and the people I'm with, but unfortunately, she's part of the package. Your article got me into thinking what gift I developed during the time I have spent working for her. Unfortunately, I can;t think of any. I don't think God-- who has been really good to me-- gave me my boss. I got my boss simply because I have been unlucky.
After three years, I have finally decided to resign. I'm in the process of looking for a job. One more month with her and I might suffer a nervous breakdown. I am a strong person, but I refuse to waste my time with a boss who doesn't respect and appreciate her employees. Without us, she wouldn't get a monthly six figure salary. I refuse to make a monster rich off my suffering.
Some people are difficult just because they choose to be difficult. Some have hang ups because they suffered a violent and sad childhood. Some because they are stuck in pathetic relationships. But many are difficult because they want to-- because of greed for money, ambition, and recognition. We don't have to try to understand their motivations. The best way to deal with them is simply to leave them.
im an OFW and i have this pseudo boss.. partly why he may be a difficult being in my life is because we have different nationalities. Ok, i am trying to understand him as well. But every single email or conversation has to be a big deal for him. Even a simple question of why did you courier 3000php worth of flyers to UK, can turn into a (to calmly put it) hulla-balu! When I can really justify these small matters. When I was staying that property, every single day I get drained because his room is just a few steps away from mine, his voice is so loud I think he would be doing a "sermon" to everyone he talks to. Even though i hardly get to have an encounter with him, I think he just drains the energy in me. Now, that I am sort off far away from him, I thought I can like escape him already. Well sort off, sometimes. Now, I take him as God's wake up call for me to go back to Phils. Everyday, I would think of staying in this company then in the afternoon, I would get an "encounter" with him. He serves as this little reminder that I don't deserve this and God has a better and greater plan for me.
ReplyDeletei think we are given difficult people so the fruits of the Spirit will truly shine: love, peace, fortitude, long suffering etc... its like practicum/field work that God allows so these virtues in us will truly come out. and if we succeed, it will give Him greater glory.
ReplyDeletethis is such a timely email/topic for me. God works in mysterious ways, for i have recently flunked the test on dealing with my difficult person at work. i entrust myself to His mercies that all this will be corrected and i get it right this time around.
Godbless you more bro and your ministry!
They give us opportunities to practice patience, love, understanding, etc.
ReplyDeleteThere's this couple who happened to be my daughter' godparents,who became sick head individuals who spread gossips against us all over the Filipino Community. It all started when I told my husband about all his insulting remarks (For him it was all jokes). He wants us to give our son to him for a secure future because he claimed himself to be super rich, but can't have children and many other insults that I couldn't ignore anymore) He can't take that I told my husband all about it. That's why the fear of what might be the Filipinos reaction. He instead sprea gossips against us and even those secrets that's between me and them only. Because they already assumed that I tell the people what they did to us, so they're kinda making some damage control. They didn't know that when we told them we're offended with theire jokes, we didn't tell anybody. Now, they're telling the people that they're willing to say sorry but it won't gonna work anymore because I want them completely out of our lives. WEll they keep on saying their sorry to other people only but they didn't make any actions. They're just full of pretentions.What I learned from all of these, is not to trust anybody anymore wholeheartedly and it's easy for me to do that now.
ReplyDeleteHello!
ReplyDeleteOne of the difficult person in my life is sadly, my husband.He is responsible,mature,kind and very forgiving.My friends told me I`m lucky to be his wife, but they are all wrong.
I`ve been trying to keep the marriage for 10 years,coz i dont want my kids to experience a broken family but sometimes i really want to call it quits.
He lets me decide on things alone,so when things does not work accordingly,all the blame will be on me.He dont want me to learn,he tried to hide me from the world.He boxed me in our house for a long time, no friends, no life.It`s no big deal for me then, because nobody will take care of my twins,except me.
On several occasion,when we are invited in some parties in his office, we will not attend for a lot of reasons and sometimes in the mall and we see some of his officemates,he will not introduce me to them.Then i realized that he is ashamed of me being a housewife,that i looked like a yaya of our kids.That i dont look pretty like his co-engineers.It really hurts.
One time i found out that he is going out with an ex,i fainted,it`s clear that he treated me that way because he truly doesnt love me.He just married me,i am his wife, but he dont love me.
I love my kids so much and i want them to grow happy,i dont want them to grow with pains in their hearts,that`s why i`m always praying for strength,for wisdom and peace in my heart and mind.
I have a neighbor who just love throwing her garbage at the gates of her neighbors. Several times, we complained about it even in court but the more she did overtime to put us in misery. When you wake up in the morning, you'll see the smelly garbage all over your front yard while her yard is immaculately kept clean. She does it through her maids and when everybody is asleep. And she has been doing this for almost 40 years now. Yes, I pray for her much often than I pray for my best friend and we even invited her whole family for dinner in several occasions to no avail. I thank God for her, though. I have a chance practicing His command: Love your enemy.
ReplyDeleteit's god's one wY OF TYESTING OUR PATIENT..it was really hard to live wih a difficult person with us..the daughter of my husbands cousin lives with us bec. she will be stdying here in manila on the first day she made an impreesion na pasaway siya..bec. she felt that whatever privilage my daughters has kelangan ganun din siya...hindi sya mahiyain...malakas kumain..walang kusa na gumawa sa gawaing bahay..addict sa text...hindi nya alam ang salitang pakikisama...nahihirapan ako kasi even my daughters naiinis sa kanya..it was really hard bec.. i felt na nagkakasala ako..am i being judgemental? i always ask god for forgivreness dahil nagiging makasalanan ako the way i treated her but i cant help it...mabigat talaga loob ko sa kanya...
ReplyDeletehindi pala ako nag-iisa, even bro. bo has his pasaway peeps. in my solitude, i always try to do a self-evaluation when it comes to my way of dealing with other people. every time i will remember what my husband told me, i always find myself contradicting it. he will usually say, mahirap daw akong intindihin at pakisamahan, masyado daw akong idealist and perfectionist. i disagree, 'cause even he's my husband, i know myself better. once, i was really opposing my mom with regards to her way of getting so attached with her amigas, OA kasi, so eventhough i appeared to be as the kontrabida, i insisted her my points. we even came to the point where she told me that i'm just her daughter and i don't have the rights to tell her what to do and not. i was hurt, syempre, pero with that, i decided to stop acting like her mom who tells her what's the right from wrong and yung OA sa tama lang. i tried praying and God really works, one day she came to me telling me na tama nga ako. i'm happy now living with her. i told her that everything must be done in moderation.
ReplyDeleteanyway, she's not the most difficult person in my life naman. it's my ate. i feel burdened by her because i care abt her and her family. my ate's way of thinking is so different. with that, her family's the one who are suffering a lot. there's nothing wrong with my sister other than her being close-minded. she finds it hard to accept suggestions, kahit na sa ikagaganda ng buhay nya. she's the eldest but with the way she handles her life, parang sya ang youngest (that's me, we are 6 girls in the family). my ate cannot figure out how to be financially independent. her problems are routinary. money. everybody in our family helped her already in different ways. worst, everyone seems to give up and finally decided not to help her financially anymore. in my case, burden ito na no one wants to help her anymore kasi i'm more concerned with my pamangkins. sila ang mas kawawa. but i know na our decision not to help her anymore is the best kasi hindi sya matututo talaga, or hindi sya mag e effort talaga kung laging may magbibigay sa kanya. even in the Bible, someone says, don't give them a fish, teach them to be a fishermen. i know God knows the desire of my heart even before i typed down these words. i also know and heard a lot of times that God's delays aren't God's denials, mangungulit lang ako, sana it will not be too late, anyway i know God knows the perfect timing for everything. kahit ganun ang ate ko, i sincerely love her, and i hope she will discover her strength so she'll be able to support her family esp the kids.
bro. bo difficulties are here to make us a better person, it might sound superficial but it's already tested. i guess God created things that way. mas maige ang pagkatuto kung nalaman mo ito ng may kasamang pagsubok, kaya nga experience is the best teacher. there might be a lot of self-help books around, but those will not make us stronger physically, mentally, emotionally, and most of all spiritually, sana nga lang, wag naman masyadong mahirap, hehe, pero come to think of it, i guess, again, God intends to give us difficulties, in any shape or form for us to remember Him, and for us to continue seek His wisdom, kasi aminin natin madalas tayong makalimot pag OK ang lahat, i guess, again, that's His way of making lambing to all of us, sending us pasaways...
God bless to us all ^^
xoxo
i have a friend who can be really difficult sometimes...she just have these depresing ang pessimistic times that can be annoying...it also sucks my energy...
ReplyDeletebut then...it has also helped me know myself more.
.....it made me realized how blessed i am...my problems are not half as heavy as hers.
....it made me realized that i am optimistic...and it is a gift! my friend has told me how my bubbly personality makes her feel better and reminds her of the many reasons she has to be happy and to think positive... wow! i never knew i had that power before...now i want to sprinkle some happiness on anyone i meet.
and there is another difficult but not that difficult person in my life...but still can be annoying...
...he made me see and understand another side of the world i never really cared to notice before. and how much i have learned from that!
...he also made me realized that I can't change anyone if that person does not want to change; that i can't help anyone if that person does not help himself first... but that does not stop me from loving him as a friend.
yes, i also believe that God allows difficult people in our lives to give us gifts...
and for me... one gift would be ....the gift of knowledge/wisdom.
difficult people helps us learn things about ourselves, other people, and the world in general. : )
yes... he's my college bestfriend... he broke my heart... but i know God has GREATER plans for me. God loves me so much that He wants a better person for me... I think God planned for that to happen because He will give me far more greater than what i had... I trust God on this!
ReplyDeleteI live for Him alone! :-D
hi bro. bo,
ReplyDeletei have this difficult person in my life, i have a small RTW store, this person was so selfish, halos wla pki khit mtakpan n nya ang katabi nyang store na khit yta s sidewlak n eh sinakop n mailabs lng lhat ng paninda nya. pag sya nman natatakpan ng katabi nya ay nagwawala s galit di n nga ko nag cocomplain s ginagawa nila sobra na sipsip nila s may ari ewan ba bkt gnun cla. tpos cla pa may ganang magreklamo parati. hay nku sbi ko nga knina pag pray ko n lng tong mga ganitong tao. n khit wla k ginagawa msama s knila eh iba nsa isip. bro. Bo pls. pray for me na humaba ang pasncya ko ayaw ko may kaaway mabigat s dibdib lalo n iisa lng lugar nmin.
May the LORD straighten my patient to this person.
GOD bless
thank you so much
To nina,
ReplyDeleteI feel very sorry for you but at the same time I admire your courage and your great love for your family. I am in similar situation myself.
I worked away from home and had recently found out that my wife is having an affair with an officemate. Though the third party already left their company I feel that their relationship still persists.
Our marriage has never been the same again. We have a three year old daughter and I worry for her. And I feel so helpless seeing our relationship deteriorate and I fear for my daughter who would probably grow up with a less than ideal upbringing. I have grown up in a very religious and happy family though we were not well of.
Lately, I have had to sleep in another room and not with my wife as her family think it "best" for us (my wife and my daughter lives with her parents). It really broke my heart. I am on the verge of giving up on this marriage myself. I want to move on and forget all the heartaches. But I cannot give up on my daughter. What kind of example will I give her if I too will consent to her mother's wish to end our marriage?
I pray to the Lord to help keep me focused on the brighter things in life but it always seem like a daily struggle with no end in sight.
I find comfort in the knowing that I am not alone after all. Know that you we are never alone. God's grace will be more than sufficient. Rest assured of my prayers for your family and others like ours. God bless.
i believe that all difficult people can really come from anywhere. maybe God has assigned one for everyone to teach us something. it could be a lifetime lesson of patience or test of character. who knows, at some point, we have been that difficult person as well. anyway, in my journey as a missionary, i have met a lot of them even within the community. eventhough we have the same mission and vision, things can really get difficult. we get to the bottom of our hopes, but along the way, we get mixed up, maybe because of cultural differences or maybe because of personal differences. i cannot change them, i can only change me and the way i see things. indeed, the call to be a christian is difficult itself, because to be a christian is to love even the most difficult persons. besides, whoever said that love is a feeling? love is a decision. and to love them is also a decision.
ReplyDeletePraise God for you Bo!
to: GIRL CONFIDING and MISS MOO NOI ( i hope i speeled your name correctly)
ReplyDeleteI just want to share with you a poem by Russell Kelfer which i have read in Purpose Driven Life BOOK.
You are who you are for a reason,
You are part of the intricate plan.
You're a precious and perfect unique design,
Called God's special woman or man.
You look like you look for a reason,
Our God made no mistake.
He knit you together within the womb,
You're just what He wanted to make.
The parents you had were the ones He chose,
And no matter how you feel,
They were custom-designed with God's plan in mind
And they bear the Master's seal.
No, the trauma you faced was not easy,
And God wept that it hurt you so;
But it was allowed to shape your heart,
So that into His likeness you'd grow.
You are who you are for a reason,
You've been formed by the Mster's rod,
You are who you are beloved,Because there is a GOD!!
i could truly relate to your stories about the family members who were such hard to love and understand especially if u are molested verbally and sexually... when i read the book Purpse Driven Life it halped me somehow to understand that there is a purpose for evrything that is happening to us. God was thinking of us even before we were born and He chooses when and how we will be born and to whose family we will grow. he even choose our parents. God has a plan in creating us all. I will be paraying for you too and God Bless.
Dear Bo,
ReplyDeletesa akin simple lang habang lumalapit sa akin ang difficult person na ito sa buhay ko, mas lumalapit din ako sa Diyos, hay ang sarap mabuhay malapit kay Lord and it's all because of this difficult person.
Ngayon, everyday ako nagsisimba, everyday I examined my conscience kung ganun ako kasama at nagre-reflect na pangit pala pag-ganun ang ugali mo...ang all good things come, when I started living it up to the Lord.
It was never easy, in fact it was very very very difficult. This makes the journey towards my everyday heaven more interesting.
Louie
Dear Bo,
ReplyDeleteI was reading the replies to your blog entry/article on difficult people... I'm not yet done reading the long replies, but I'm already a bit depressed from all the horrible stuff other people can do! There is really so much need for us to be light of the world and salt of the earth. Based on all these, so far that's one of the clearest things about difficult people or situations: (a) to push us to become better people (not to become like these "bad examples", also based on my own experience of handling difficult people, I learned to make encounters with them as opportunities to love more; (b) to influence them the best way we can to know and love God and realize that WE'RE GOD'S SONS/ DAUGHTERS! (evangelize); (c) to push us to pray A LOT and thus make us holy (sometimes unintentionally), for difficult people and situations can sanctify us indeed-- to all you who suffer so terribly, especially the wives! (My gosh, Bo, I am saddened because sometimes our brothers/sisters can be such martyrs... can I just say WAKE UP!?, oh, sorry, i meant CALL COUNSELING); So there, I was a tad depressed, but also upon reading other comments, I realized there are also so many good people in the world :) And you, my brothers and sisters, are like angels in this dark dark world, and you make things so much bearable and even beautiful, because you are other Christs to everyone. Thank you! You are kindling to that flame of hope that Christ put inside of us.
Thank you again, Bo and your community. I guess difficult people are gifts in really bad wrapping. Sometimes we can help put a ribbon or something to make them bearable. Or maybe open them (tear them like crazy?! We wish :D ) and see the gift they truly are, and God will take care of re-wrapping them in the prettiest wrappers (and later on we'll be proud that we chose this unexpectedly nice package). Oh, God's re-wrapping me again and again, too, so I don't really have a right to rant so much. :) God is just so great. Thanks again, Bo!
I received this today...just when I spent the morning thinking awful thoughts of this difficult person and trying to justify my feeling and wishes to my community and saying things like "how can this person even know the name of Jesus...what a hypocrite..." and that's like the least mean thing I thought of. My mind was just going on and on as I did my daily duties. Wishing this difficult person harm and sorrow and miserable situations. So when I opened your email on Do you have a Difficult Person in your life, how could I not read it. As you wrote, this person is a gift from God. A part of me still was thinking, sheesh...but the person in me called to holiness knows this to be true. This person is only difficult in my life because of my expectations; for again I place my ruler of judgement against this person and of course this person falls short. The decision to love this person, embodies the Eucharist: broken and blessed to be shared with the world. I write this because I need to remind myself. I am unable to do this love without God. But of course, only God gives the courage and strength to go beyond our own expectations, limitations, understanding, et.c etc. and love the other. Especially this difficult person. I am reminded again how I must pray to God to change me, that he touches my heart and opens me up to love this person.
ReplyDeleteyes...i do have a few difficult persons in my life...but the latest is a niece of mine, a daughter of 4th, 5th 6th degree cousin am not sure really...but a relative still. my mom decided to take her to our house to be a yaya to my 2 yr. old nephew. she's been here since last dec...we were planning to send her to school since she's the eldest in her family so eventually she could help them out. it was ok at first but i just started noticing that she's not following instructions, simple instructions even...just like segregation of laundry, cooking rice or the mere pagwawalis. i would give her instructions on how to do things and she would always tell me ( in a soft voice though) "tita, alam ko na yan..." so i just let her do it her way....but the thing is she would waste electricity, water and other resources because she simply doesnt listen...and when she's being reprimanded she just walk away as if your not talking at all or just continue texting...i have talked to her calmly, angrily, tried to be a friend to her but nothing seems to get into her head. and she's not even seem interested in studying. we have to make kulit to her to ask from her parents her school records so she could enroll this year it took her almost 5 mos. to get her papers, my mom already sent money for those...i would let her use the computer and she would chat often but i learned from my other pamangkins (who live nearby) that she would shut the door of my room (where the pc is) while she chats away...i told her that she could use it but wag abuso...there was one time that the it was already 8 in the evening and no dinner yet because she was busy chatting. now i put a password on the pc so she cant use it....i am very patient person but i ran out of it with her. who wouldnt??? uuwi ako at kakaing sunog na sinaing, madumi ang cr at mabaho ang damit (mind you we're using a digital washing machine, the clothes are almost dry when it's done) so the house works she does are not really difficult and then my nephew whom she supposed to look after doesnt even stay at home most of the time...she has lots of time to watch tv and to sleep and it's fine with me but now i've lost it! i talked to my mom to send her back from where she came from...i couldnt take it anymore....i feel like am really beginning to hate her enough to hurt her and i wouldnt want to. so to prevent that i just want her to leave our house...i fear that she is capable of doing something really mean...and before all those things happen i just want her out. now while she's still herei dont talk to her anymore i just ignore her so i wouldnt get mad...reading your email made me think to give her a second chance but i've given her a lot of 2nd chances already...nagsawa na ako
ReplyDeletewell, i had these people who made my life really difficult. kasi po i had these friends (new found friends) ung isa gusto niya siya lang ung tama and ung parang alam niya lahat. then ung isa naman backfighter. some people naman, they belittle other people. they want the spotlight on their own. i mean, gusto nila sila lang ang bida. there is no unity on them. they don't give a chance to other people. and it is difficult for me to deal with this people. nagpapasensiya na lang tlga ako. just to understand them. about my newly found friends, i just realized that they are not true and i can't pretend to be with them. kasi is not me. and di na ako comfortable. ang sabi sa akin, makipagplastikan na lang daw ako. but i can't do that. it's hard for me. kpg di na kasi ako comfortable na kasama ka. because u r not true to me, i just act formal to you. i mean, kapag kinausap mo ako kakausapin kita. kapg may nagtanong ka, sasagot ako. pero di ako makikipagkwenthan just like before. ganun ako. i just keep quiet. it is not in my vocabulary to be a pretender. naisip ko lang if i have do that? or i just be myself?. un ang maga tanong ko sa sarili ko. i cannot be around with these kind of people. but i just realized that i think God put them in my life for me to be strong and to learn from them. kaya lang mahirap. siguro ganun lang tlga. ...thank you for reading my comments=)
ReplyDeleteHi Bro. Bo,
ReplyDeleteReally true! There are difficult persons in our lives, and you're lucky if there's only one! ha ha. In my own opinion, I don't think God allowed these people to be difficult. It's their choice to be difficult. One thing good with God is, He gave us the free will to choose between right and wrong. So i believe the difficult person is solely responsible for his actions. Am amazed though, on how God can be very patient ! If it was us, we punish them already. ha ha. I agree though, that their presence enhances our lives spiritually. I know of someone who still is talking things negative against me for so many years! Who cares? What matters to me most is, how i look in the eyes of God. True, the road to Heaven, says Jesus is narrow and full of thorns. Difficult as it may be, i myself tried not to be a difficult person to someone else's life! ha ha. Nobody is perfect, but Jesus said, " Be perfect as your Heavenly Father is perfect."
Thanks so much for this wonderful space!
May God inspire you more in your ministry. May He bless you and your family.
strel
Dear Bo,
ReplyDeleteAs long as you need air to breathe, then you need these difficult people to practice the very essence of loving. For love is way beyond loving the "lovable".; it threads a far more ridiculous path... loving even when you don't get loved in return... loving anyway, whether you get loved back or not. Well, sometimes perception of "difficult" people may only mean people who are not your type, who are not always agreeing to your standards nor your expectations. And believe me, that difficult person could be even you yourself at times.
I have had a lot of difficult people in my life. So numerous that it got me to thinking... why so many of them? Only to find out in the long run, after much prayer and reflection, that I AM the difficult one. And I thank God for this truth, for it humbled me completely. It gave me peace for realizing this. Although I must say, through the many years I have been a difficult person to my love ones, I may have come to the point that however I may try to reverse my ways, they could not forgive me. And, frail as I am, weaknesses overwhelmingly drive me back to where I feel I'm fighting for survival.
Don't get me wrong though. I have a lot of friends... people who look up to me, who can't seem to end their compliments and affections toward me. And they give me strength, knowing that I can change, because I am not their difficult person.
It's only a matter of who you are to people, and who they are to you. In the end, the most important question is ... who you are to God.
My husband behaves like a single man. He wants to be a bachelor all his life. He can't provide our family with financial support coz he has lots of debts and keep on spending for lotto. As a husband , he doesn't support me emotionally, spiritually and phsically, Moreso, because we have been separated for more 10 years and just got reconciled 4 years ago. I continue to love him and pray that through God's timing , He will turn to the Lord and change for the better. My daughter is resenting all these but she supports me in prayer. Please do pray for my husband Ken.
ReplyDeletei just remember my mother told me," mabigat anak ang dinadala mong krus kasi may nakasabit na matsing", maybe tha's a difficult person for me. It seems like eveything is too hard for me to accomplish because of him but I can't ge rid of him ( they're saying my "bitterhalf" )r because I love him. I did almost everything to make him happy, I even went abroad to fill up his unattended responsibilities just knowing that my marriage is just getting worst. Right now he left us, and I dont know if I will still chase him and ask him to return or I will just let go of him. For six years his been a very difficult person for me. Im always asking God kung parusa ba ito sakin because maaga akong nagasawa but Im very sure there's a purpose. I never felt that he has been a father or a husband to me. Di naman ako bad person, bakit kaya ganun binigay nya sakin na asawa. Sorry God I know I dont even have a pinch of right to ask your plans, but sometimes if I'm too hurt I can't help but ask you. Life has to go on,maybe I'll wait till he shows up or ako lalapit? sa palagay mo brother BO?
ReplyDeletei had experienced that when i met my previous boss. considering that i was new to the workplace, she showed kindness and consideration only during the first few months. then she turned into a nightmare after that adjustment period. she had a favorite among her subordinates and unfortunately, i wasn't that person. i did things to please her. but when she wanted to, she would strike me with comments that were not so pleasant to hear. she gave me a very low evaluation without considering my workload and sacrifices for that institution. so what i just did is let her be for quite some time because i know what my real capacity when it comes to work. besides, it wouldn't help if i argued it with her. she would always stick to the idea that she's right. also, i didn't mind her when she would say something. i literally drifted away from her. after a year when i couldn't take it anymore, i resigned, prayed that i did the right thing and wished that she could find someone who works more dedicated than me.
ReplyDeletehello po,
ReplyDeleteany difficult person sa buhay sa min ng nanay ko ay ang lola ko. Siya po ang kasama kasama namin sa bahay ng nanay ko. eversince po ay kasama na namin sya sa bahay at ang nanay ko ang nag aalaga sa kanya kahit maraming syang kapatid na pweding mag alaga or kung saan pweding mag stay ang lola ko. ang hirap po kasi minsan ang nanay ko pa ang sasabihan nya ng walang utang na loob. Di po namin alam bakit nya nasabi yon. Para nga pong me mga bad spirits syang mga alaga eh.. kasi po minsan bigla na lang nyang sinakal ang nanay ko.. mahigpit at di matanggal ng nanay ko ang pagkakasakal sa kanya.. 80 yrs old na po ang lola ko... ang hirap po talaga nyang pakisamahan. ayoko pong magtanim ng sama ng loob or magalit sa kanya. Minsan nga po naiisip ng nanay ko na hindi sya anak... ni rehistro po ng birth certificate sa NSO wala ang nanay ko.. ang baptismal cert po nya mali mali pa ang info.. hirap po kami kung pano makakakuha ng papers ang nanay ko para sa birth certificate nya. naawa po talaga ako sa nanay ko. di man lang sya makaalis ng bahay ng matagal dahil pag alam ng lola ko na aalis sya minsan parang nag iinarte na lang na nahihilo para di umalis ang nanay ko. ang hirap po talaga.. please pray for us. salamat.. God bless us all.
I encounter a lot of difficult people here in the office. 2 are from the management team and another one from another department - all in all, there are 3 difficult people - I'm dealing with everyday. The "2 person" who just got promoted and eventually became part of the management, grabe sobrang pinunta nila yung mga position nila sa mga utak nila. Sobrang bossy. Parang mga power-hunger at sobrang power-tripper. The other one, well she has this attitude of slamming the door sa office kapag badtrip siya. Minsan hindi naman siya badtrip sayo pero hindi talaga maganda ang timpla nya, ibabalibag na lang niya yung pinto. Common things about this 3 persons, they don't accept accountability, kahit may mga pagkakamali sila ipapasa nila sa iba. They will start washing their hands and put the blame to somebody else. Another thing, they're super bossy as if they are your master and you are the slave. And lastly they gossip about other people, it their way of having fun. Which is so pathetic. Grabe ang galit ko sa kanila. Everyday pagod na pagod ako with dealing with them. I kept my mouth shut kasi wala rin ang magagawa kahit na awayin ko sila o kausapin ng maayos. I even curse them and wished na mamatay na sana sila, pero I feel sorry din at the end. Hopeless ba? hindi naman sana...
ReplyDeleteto richard,
ReplyDeletei pray for you and your kids and hope that He would give you & your family the strength, patience & understanding to love your autistic son. :-)
autism is not something you "catch." until now, the cause is unknown... there is not something you did/ didn't do that "caused" the autism.
i hope your doctor or dev pediatrician talks to you about it & gives you and your family the resources & support you need. :-)
these may be helpful:
1. www.autismspeaks.org/
2. http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1191843,00.html
3. http://www.autismsocietyph.org/home.html
God bless always!
yes!i have this very difficult person in my life right now and he was my younger brother..he's seems so irresponsible doing things even for himself..we always fight and we often not give a smile to each other..i got a hard feelings to him..thinking even how great my patience he's always an irritation to me..everytime i ask him his plans to himself,unfortunately he will always answer me "i don't know"...that strikes me a hurt feeling coz at his age he dont even know what to do for himself..he's not facing the reality of his life and he always deny even his family nor listens to us..we,his faily just want to help him but he;'s not giving us the chance to fill his heart of understanding and love...he's always thinking that were just playing perfect in everything we do,that's why he cant accept our purpose..please po help us pray about our brother's situation that earlier,one day he could see light,chances to change...and he will realize how important he was..thank you po..
ReplyDeletei have had too many..hehe...sa work especially. until recently, hindi na nga ako narenew sa work ko....i thank the Lord that despite some financial difficulties right now, i still feel happy and peaceful, and i know it is because of His grace. Pag nakikita ako nung mga kasama ko sa work, especially yong mga naghabi ng kung ano-anong kasinungalingan at yong mismong coordinator ko, they're thinking pa nga daw na para na daw ako nababaliw kasi im still happy...eh ano namankaya gusto nila? magmukmok ako?...i dont know, maybe they can't comprehend the fact that people of God can still smile despite difficulties because the Lord is helping them.
ReplyDeleteanyways, lam ko din naman that the Lord is teaching me some lessons here. pero yong huling nasagot ko nga ang coordiantor ko, dala na siguro ng madaming previous incidents na nagtimpi naman ako sa kanya, kumbaga, bumingo na kasi sya sa akin. pero kahit maganda naman ang approach ko sa kanya nung una, eh sya tong high-pitched agad, kaso, soprano ako, kaya nung napuno na ako, mas high-pitched na ko hehe, its about the make up duty of our students, na sa una pa lang talaga ayaw ko ng pag make up dutyhin because i thought its unreasonable, eh pinilit nung daalwang clinical instructors na dapat daw may make-up duty,s o sige, para lang hindi naman nila sabihing sobrang pro-student ako, na lagi nilang sinasabi, na hindi naman totoo, syempre, dun lang ako sa palagay ko ay mas tama....bandang huli, yong students ko ang may make up duty at yong mga students nung 2 CI, ...abkit daw hindi sa kanya lumapit mga students?...eh nilapaitan na nga sya...sinabihan nya mga bata na wag pakialaman ang make up duty ng iba, na wag sila mainggitin, na masama ugali yon...kaya halos ayaw ng mag-approach sa knya ng mga students eh...wala...bandang huli na lang nila ginawang kunwari pinagbayad ng make up duty yong mga bata at kunwari pinagpasa ng written requirement. hay naku! madami pang "mahiwagang" kwento.
so yon nga, anyways, sabi ko nga, the Lord is teaching me some lessons here too, sabi ng VP namin, sometimes kahit alam mong ikaw ang tama, wag ka na lang kumibo, boss yon eh...eh kaso nga siguro talagang bumingo na talaga sya sa akin...tska ako, kasi, minsan din, pag lam kong tama ako, talagang hindi pwedeng hindi ako kumibo...eh pero siguro nga, kailangan ko na ring matutunang mag-bow na lang... ;)
Difficult person in my life is my father. He is a truly selfish, self centered, irresponsible father that I have known in my life. But since he is my father I cannot do anything about it but accept the fact that he is my father & pray to God to enlighten him and If possible he would take him already ahead of my mother.
ReplyDeleteGod is AWESOME!
ReplyDeleteFrom my own experience He reveals Himself to me as a compassionate, understanding and loving God; something which my heart and mind cannot fathom...Words are not enough to describe how great He is.
These people come into our lives with a purpose, whether for a SEASON, and definitely for a REASON or a LIFETIME!
Have an awesome day everyone and GOD BLESS!!!
there is this one person that i find so hard to relate to. maybe because i have already heard some negative comments about this person before i actually met her. prejudice might already have been at work here. but the more i spent time with her i knew that i could never trust her. i've seen the good in her and i try to focus on that but it's not easy. i knew that spending less time with her would actually be better. i prayed for her. i prayed for me. i am more sad than annoyed now. sometimes i think i pity her more than anything.
ReplyDeletei know another difficult person, me. i think i may be a difficult person to some people that i know. God has been revealing some areas in my life that i need to lift up to Him. yielding can be hard, it can be painful. but it sure will be worth it!
when we have a difficult person in our life, he/she:
- teaches us to be more gracious, more patient, more understanding
- helps us to look for what is good. God said He has created everything and it is good. enables us to be better observers of thehuman race, better hunters too! hunt for the hidden treasure buried within each difficult person
- serves as checks for us, to see where we are at in terms of how we relate to others too
- gives us opportunities to pray more
- gives us opportunities to be like Christ more by loving our "enemies" (although it is hard, but if we ask Him to help us, nothing is too difficult)
wow! i think we actually would need to thank God for bringing these difficult people in our lives!
depending on how we react, they can build us up or tear us down.
I think the difficult person in my life would be myself. Why? Because I did many things that makes God hurt, eventhough I know what I did is wrong but I always did it. I'm not proud of myself, the story is like this : I broke up with my-ex around 3 years ago because he got married with someone else, but during the 3 years, we still contacted each other, i tried not to contact him but if he contacted me i'll respond to it. I kept telling myself that I only consider him as my friend but he will say good things to me and finally i fall in love with him again. I knew what I did is wrong and I want to forget about him but I can't do that because part of me still want to be with him .. Now, I'm still trying to forget about him, please pray for me ... thanks .. GBU all
ReplyDeleteThe difficult person in my life would be Sammy. I wish she's not afraid to face the future with me anymore. I hope we can reconcile our differences and make up for the lost time. I am willing to do so. I am willing to do everything to make things alright with her. Unfortunately, she is not. But I still believe in us. Im gonna stay patient with her. I love her and I know that she loves me also. I just hope that she take the risk again with me. I wish to be her and stay with her until we grow old. I hope she does too.
ReplyDeleteI would consider my sister-in-laws as the most difficult persons in my life now...so difficult that i developed resentment to them...it started way back when my husband (their brother) and i were still in college and then when we got married, they would often say hurtful words to me, it was like my heart was broken by what they would say :(( and since it took us a long time to have our own son, they would often say that i was incapable of getting pregnant...that really hurts me. i would always cry at night and would fight with my husband since i couldn\'t fight them back because their like 10 or more years older than me. and even if they acted like that i still respect them. and what hurts me up to now is that they do not consider my son as their nephew and they do not play with him...yet in my prayers, i would always ask for their acceptance of me, and enlightenment on thier part as well as wisdom to act their age...i'm still praying for a positive relationship with them despite of everything that happened between us. :)
ReplyDeleteI and my siblings have these difficult people in our lives - our half siblings. They're just not our burden but our mother, too, who died early of cancer, and everyone believed it was due to stress that she had cancer. All of her life and our lives, we had to put up with our older half siblings. Mom married our father, a widower of 11 children, not just any ordinary children, but 11 grudging, angry and unkind children. They weren't really together with my father, who's a very loving, respectable and decent man, as they were growing up. That is why everyone who learned of how they were treating us (their younger half siblings), understood how far their attitudes are compared to our father. I guess you will say how could a single, eligible, successful career woman, fall and marry a widower with 11 kids?! Well, it was simply because our father is the most patient, loving, thoughtful, sweetest person. I, myself, have never met a man same as my father who's wise, intelligen and most of all, faithful.
ReplyDeleteTimes have changed for the worse, when Mother died. One even forced herself to live with us - in the house which our father gave to our mom, a conjugal property. We had no choice but to accept her because we didn't want to make our father feel bad. No one wanted to take that half sibling in, not even her own brothers and sisters. She's really a diffficult woman and always, I guess every hour she gossips to her relatives and siblings about me and my brothers and reports to them everyday about what we are doing and what is happening here. She even has the gall to invite a relative to live in our own house without asking for permission. When in fact, our house is very very small and could hardly fit her in. She's crazy to even say bad things about our mother who already is in peace with God and compare her to their mother. She's awful and to think she's already 60 years old - separated with 2 kids living with their father. We chose not to fight her back because we all think it's useless, because we didn't think she will ever really change at her age. But what's sad is that she will even hurt my kids by calling them foul names and saying bad words to them and making them cry. It was too much, Bo. I always pray to God for more patience and wisdom and love...but things just couldn't be. and all of them are just the same...they've done the worse things to my mother when she was alive but she remained quiet and never let my father know of what they have been doing to her when she was alive.
I and my siblings have these difficult people in our lives - our half siblings. They're just not our burden but our mother, too, who died early of cancer, and everyone believed it was due to stress that she had cancer. All of her life and our lives, we had to put up with our older half siblings. Mom married our father, a widower of 11 children, not just any ordinary children, but 11 grudging, angry and unkind children. They weren't really together with my father, who's a very loving, respectable and decent man, as they were growing up. That is why everyone who learned of how they were treating us (their younger half siblings), understood how far their attitudes are compared to our father. I guess you will say how could a single, eligible, successful career woman, fall and marry a widower with 11 kids?! Well, it was simply because our father is the most patient, loving, thoughtful, sweetest person. I, myself, have never met a man same as my father who's wise, intelligen and most of all, faithful.
ReplyDeleteTimes have changed for the worse, when Mother died. One even forced herself to live with us - in the house which our father gave to our mom, a conjugal property. We had no choice but to accept her because we didn't want to make our father feel bad. No one wanted to take that half sibling in, not even her own brothers and sisters. She's really a diffficult woman and always, I guess every hour she gossips to her relatives and siblings about me and my brothers and reports to them everyday about what we are doing and what is happening here. She even has the gall to invite a relative to live in our own house without asking for permission. When in fact, our house is very very small and could hardly fit her in. She's crazy to even say bad things about our mother who already is in peace with God and compare her to their mother. She's awful and to think she's already 60 years old - separated with 2 kids living with their father. We chose not to fight her back because we all think it's useless, because we didn't think she will ever really change at her age. But what's sad is that she will even hurt my kids by calling them foul names and saying bad words to them and making them cry. It was too much, Bo. I always pray to God for more patience and wisdom and love...but things just couldn't be. and all of them are just the same...they've done the worse things to my mother when she was alive but she remained quiet and never let my father know of what they have been doing to her when she was alive no matter how hard she tries to serve them and please them. It was always never enough for these people.
Hi Bro. Bo,
ReplyDeletethanks again for the inspiration and thank you God for sending you bro bo to us...
Difficult person in my life...ohhh that was long ago but until now I can't forget those days when he betrayed me. That's my ex boyfriend, our relationship lasts for almost four years, four suffering years (take note... tsk)
He went to Canada for an Immigrant visa, to make the story short we had a long distance relationship, and that's hard for me. After a year and a half of staying there he decided to broke up with me, I really don't know the reasons at all, it's too unfair to me. After a year of our break up I heard from his relatives that he had a girl there and she was pregnant at that time we broke up....
Oh God it's too painful for me to accept everything until now, but with the grace of the Almighty God, I have learned to accpet those things and became my strength when I am down and hurt.
As of now I'm continue praying for him that he may realize that someone suffered a lot because of him.
Thank you and hope this will be a lesson for all of us...
God Bless Bro. Bo!
Keep it up!
I believe God let us encouter diffucult people to help us mature and continue to improve our patience in dealing with difficult situations.
ReplyDeleteI am dealing with a few difficult people in my life and sad to say they are all related to me :( I tried to just listen everytime they vent or do something that is not so pleasing. Pero ika nga "may hangganan ang pagpapasensya". Hanggang saan nga ba? Kasi ngayon isang malaking pagsubok sa akin ang pag pasensyahan ang mga taong ito.
Patuloy akong dumadalangin sa puong may kapal na patawarin ako sa king mga sala at patnubayan ako sa aking pakikitungo sa mga taong patuloy na sumusubok sa aking pasyensa.
Salamat sa artikulong ito at kahit paano nalulunasan ang mga tanong sa aking isipan.
I don't think God gives us difficult people on purpose. It's just that these people choose to be difficult and it's really up to them to change for the better.
ReplyDeleteMy Dad is THE difficult person in my life. He is so full of negativities, he's had a stroke for 13 times already!
He doesn't appreciate life, he always says he's going to die or commit suicide (he's been saying it for the past 20 years!)
He doesn't appreciate the things that people around him do for him.He curses the people close to him (his children, his sisters and caregivers) through texts or on paper (he can no longer talk because of suffering from stroke).
He throws stuff at people when he doesn't get what he want (what he wants are, more often than not, things that are bad for his heart).Lately, he successfully created conflict among his children by fabricating lies.
We try to bring him closer to God by inviting him to the Feast but he finds ways to avoid going there.
Strangely, wherever he stays for a period of time, the people he stays with either suffer from financial difficulties or get sick. Must be the negative vibes rubbing off.
I really hope and pray that he finds it in his heart to change for the better before his time runs out.
Difficult people comes to us in the time God wants us to Love that difficult person and at the same time practice certain virtues (with His grace) so that we may become holy. But in every difficult person, events and situations that comes into our life there is one very important virtue that God wants us to exercise...and that is humility. It is impossible love your enemies and to have the other gifts of the Holy Spirit if you don't have humility
ReplyDeletebro,
ReplyDeletei tried reading some of the replies posted, pero parang ang bigat sa dibdib because basically all you can read is ung angst ng bawat isa towards those difficult person in their lives, so i stopped. i feel it is unhealthy. sori
Difficult persons are sent by God to us so that we may learn to Love that person and for us to practice certain virtues so that we may be holy...But in all the difficult persons, events, situations that God allows us to have He want us (by His Grace) to exercise humility, because it is impossible to love your enemies when you are not humble. and it is impossible for the other virtues to flourish in us without humility
ReplyDeleteEVERYONE is a teacher...
ReplyDeleteWe are all connected to each other... every person we encounter will surely give us lessons to ponder... but there are times that we overlooked these lessons because we are preoccupied by the grievances we have for that person...
we should not let these difficult persons ruin our day or our entire life... just don\'t absorb their negative energies. :)
Thank you so much bro. Bo.
ReplyDeleteI have a difficult people in my life and that's my husband. Sometimes nauubusan na po ako ng pasensya but i always pray for him na magbago na sya..minsan nakakapagsalita na ako ng hindi maganda sa kanya..but i ask GOD to forgive me what i've said.
I know GOD will be the one to change him.
I think like i am one of them .... child that the mission in life is to be difficult. .. the thorn in someone’s flesh... irresponsible. demanding. ... negative. ..selfish. .... possessive. .... always depressed... and i am making mylife hell? i dont know... a lot of times i dont believe to myself...i am a mess... i need some comment to help me finally realize things about me... i dont know what to do. feeling hopeless here.
ReplyDeleteIT probably took me 10 minutes to find this box to write my comment with so many stories above it! Hehe..
ReplyDeletewell sometimes when i encounter these people, my automatic reaction would be to think that maybe.. just maybe for some people i am the one who is difficult. then i am humbled. so i dont go on thinking that "buti pa ako mabait or this person is so bad" because who am i to be a judge of that?
yes sometimes i lose it, iget angry and hold ill feelings towards these types of people. but for most times i refrain from doing that. not good, will definitely ruin your entire day!
but there's a saying to seek first to understand to be understood. maybe we all have to understand first where that person is coming from before we equal being a difficult person to a bad person.
sometimes they're not one and the same.=)
Dear Bro.Bo...
ReplyDeleteI had a difficult person in our office,named;sherlyn, ana liza, adonnis. I had a hard time to approach to sherlyn,for she is so angry to me,and i don't know her reason why.everytime I approach to her, it seems that she is looks angry to me. And one time she put all the blame to me, but I still hold on to my temper,and pray to God to extend it.She is the sister of one of our boss.Thats why I have to hold on to my temper.
i have this friend that is so dear to me. but maybe because of distance and time and awkward silence, our communication reached to a point where it became superficial, probably to the level of "hi, how are you?" and nothing more. i had attempted to open up and share every thing i could regarding my life, but this person does not seem to want to pick up. well, it could only hurt so much seeing a great friendship turn somewhat cold and ordinary. yet, there maybe other things (and people) affecting my friend today. she might be having difficult times (and people) herself. and i may have also been difficult and impossible many times over.
ReplyDeleteI would like to quote robert fulghum, what he said when love seems to get difficult: "And it's love that's complicated by age and knowledge and confusing values. Love, to be sure. But not simple."
i also think the difficult people in our lives allow us to discover that at the end of the day, we could not truly change them, we could only change ourselves. each encounter gives us ideas of who we are and what we could be capable of, like the capacity to forgive or the courage to move on, or the simple acknowlegement that no one is perfect. there are also lessons to learn from each other, to make the necessary improvements we have to with our relationships with others and ourselves.
yes of course i encountered dificult person that im always thinking she is tempting my patience that i thought she is the evil one but then reflecting about it especially in the reading of the day that says love ur enemy or love the person that u hate, i simply pray that Lord cast her away from my way and i pray that He will touch her heart and i pray for my heart too to be forgiving and soften to her and just accept who she is and just teach my heart to love her too instead and i ask forgiveness in hating her or aggravated by her.
ReplyDeletei really have a defficult person in my life, not one,but its more.you know what will i do to them, i'll kept pray to God silently & also praying for myself that i can loved them, because its part of our christian duty.
ReplyDeleteDifficult people in my life?
ReplyDeleteHalos lahat ng tao. Why is it that people are nice to me at first but later on avoid me like the plague?
Wala naman akong bad breath or body odor.
Hindi naman ako tsismosa. Hindi naman ako naninira ng tao. Masunurin naman ako at magalang at palabati. Masipag naman ako sa trabaho ko.
Hindi nga lang ako palakwento gaano at hindi rin ako palabiro at medyo kulang sa sense of humor. But meron din naman paminsan-minsan.
Ang hindi ko lang talaga magawa is to join in people's green jokes.
Pero should these be enough reasons for people to avoid me.
It really hurts. I am so poor. Poverty is not just in material things. Poverty is also being an outcast.
I could be frank and blunt with these people but I don't want to hurt their feelings.
I just want to find out ... how can I have true friends? People who will accept me for who and what I am.
I need your advice Bro. Bo.
Thank you and God bless you and your ministry.
hi bro.bo,
ReplyDeletedifficult people, in my daily they are with me.. ive seen them everyday.. im just praying that God will give me more patience.. and im always singing " Lord grant me serenity....
Hello Bo, I was once a difficukt person to love... I was so depressed I cried everyday, I hated my parents and other family members, I hated myself and my life.. BUt I am very blessed because despite my difficult self, there were people who remianed by my side, who loved despite all of my bad characteristics, until one day, I was able to overcome those. Now, I make it my mission to be that loving person to these difficult people / circumstances. Because I was (and still is) blessed with fantastic loving people such as my family and friends, I too should be a blessing to others :)
ReplyDeleteI don't know how to answer this question but i will try to. well for me i have an ex Bf who is a difficult person in my life we broke up recently and it still hurts. we have a culture indifference and we cannot give and take for each other but as i take my break away from him i pacify things and i realized that if he is a difficult person to me maybe i am a difficult person also to his life. You give what you recieve... I am happy that i realized it. Now i keep peace in my self. No hardships, regrets and maybe no selfish reason...:) hope u understand my comment.
ReplyDeletei got pregnant and abandoned by her father...but carry over pains and i even sacrifice just to make my child happy as i bring her in this world of life..
ReplyDeletebut now im happy...living without that irresponsible person.:-)
God brings difficult persons in our life in able for us to develop our patience and understanding... The difficult person in my life has been my friend before. I trusted and have loved her 100% for what she is and have been always there for her in her most difficult times but she had a change of heart and turn our friendship into hate... She started acting like a jerk and keep on telling bad things about me behind my back. She has been cold for an unknown reason... And I know it's because of jealousy. But in friendship we should be happy for what out friends have but her she got an attitude. Until we ended our friendship started hating each other so much. Now I'm just praying to God for the bad feelings to leave my heart and hoping that peace will again dwell within it. On the other hand I understand her for the reason that she came from a broken family and maybe the insecurities comes from it. Just praying that God will give me more patience...
ReplyDeleteHi Bro. Bo,
ReplyDeleteWow, I am so blessed I don't have any difficult person to deal with these days.
But when I was still in the corporate world, - that was years ago - there was this guy who was so negative in his words and actions. He was always pessimistic, always seeing the bad side of things. He always noted the unfavorable side of people, bitterly complaining about the government (regardless of whoever was sitting as president), the mess of our traffic, pollution problems, well just about anything that moves in the planet.
How did I deal with him? I just managed to avoid him as much as possible.
Kahit gusto ko siyang ipakulam, baka pati yung mangkukulam ay pagalitan niya, so di na lang.
Rey Ortega
reading this entry is so timely because I've been affected again by a very difficult person in my life---my husband. we've been separated for almost a year now because he has definitely been a pain--he's a liar, he's a hypocrite, he's careless, unfair and apathetic. recently, he has started making my life difficult again because of his failure to financially support my children...
ReplyDeleteI just keep on praying to God for strength and much much more patience. I also hope that God will help me decipher the reason of my husband being a part of my life.
Difficult person? I had 1, half year of my life. Yap, it\'s my husband. Lahat ng description ni Bo sa taas nasa kanya. There was a time in my life that I really asked the Lord why he allowed him to enter into my life is it because I am a sinful woman that he has to punish with this guy. And ginawa ko rin yung mag-dasal na sana e mawala na siya sa buhay ko na nung ikumpisal ko sa pari ay pinagalitan ako kasi gusto ko pa daw gawing kriminal ang Diyos. (^_^) Maraming naging katanungan sa puso ko na karamihan sa sagot ay sa akin tumatama. But then come to think of it me mga naging positive result din naman. I became closer and had a deeper relationship with God and it made me tough di ko nga rin ma-intindihan ang sarili ko kasi dati all that I\'d do is cry my heart out to God. Minsan nga nabibigla rin ako kasi palaging parang pa-laban ang sagot ko which I regret afterwards and ask the Lord to forgive me and give me the courage to treat him naman nicely din. And God is putting a lot of compasion in my heart to still accept and forgive him whatever it is that he is doing to my life. (^_^)
ReplyDelete